God's work

Its amazing...God has such beautiful ways of gettng us to return to Him. I know I dont have such a dramatic christian life but Ive gt a colleague who was telling me about how his fren got saved. His fren is an RSM in the army...regimental S(something) Major. I guess my army frens will all know who I refer to. This guy used to be the fiercest sort but God worked his steps so that he was subconsciously led to Him. Now this guy helps with security in church etc...

Times like these I think about my fren's fren who threw away his buddhist stuff after he stared readng the bible. Seems absurd really but maybe its God working in him! Ive always been afraid of asking my frens to go to church...coz Im afraid they'd distant from me for that...frenship may not seem important for me but it is....very....even w my ex....Thank God for making it possible fr me to be frens with my BBBro....God has amazing ways. If God is soo powerful and anything He wants will come true. what can stop the most absurd or bizzare ways of returning to Christ, from happening? Who can stop God?who can stop God from conducting miracles?

Thank you father for making thigns happen that make it indisputable that you are there. And it makes me happy just thinking that you are in charge of my life...that I dont need to worry about thngs coz you are into it and as I type now, you are before me helping me to cear the way and providing me with blessings that i havnt even asked fr yet. You are amazing Father!

gtg...God Bless!

chinese?

Just went through an interview...in chinese! My chinese suxs! I feel so lousy for it! Haiz....

This is the time I think abt why Im so untalented in areas I wish i were hahahaha Sorta takes a conscious effort to make me remember that everything is given to me by God...what He wants to give me will be given, what He wants to take will be taken...and all I need to do is pray to Him and He will carry me through in all my chinese and his chinese.

Im sooo impressed by Jimmy...he is the humblest of stars! How can he be so humble even after sooo many years of stardom and sooo much talent in all areas? Did you know that He was a law lecturer? He's sooooo talented, I almost feel like Im int he presence of greatness! I woulod love to work more with him! I would love to go under him and learn all there is to singing...Im in awe! Again, I say, how could someone so great, could be sooo humble?

Or is he sooo tight about his name and fears teh day of being chased ont eh streets by overwhelming fans? Why shouldnt he? He deserves every last fan there is! Im his fan right now! Not ffrom hearing his songs..cos honestly, I cant tell which are his, but from his professionalism, his knowledge, his humbleness or down to earth character, his talent! I admire him to all extent! But im not a crazy fan....Im a sensible one....The songs he wrote for the musical are so amazing..the way he conducts the choir, the script he wrote...I used to be so stuck with the idea that all stars are stuck up and thinkt hey know what they're doing...but my thoughts have changed. Jimmy doesnt only think he knows what he's doing....he knows he knows what he's doing!

Haiz..k dinner time....God help me to look to you for strength and skill....

God Bless

Puss and bugs!

My leg has got this nasty bite for weeks and just fwe days ago (previous entry) Its got some pus in it. and the more i lok at it, the more I realize that its got a cave. Ive got a acve of pus under my skin!

Been very busy but been blessed! Had to run back home from office this morning coz I forgot my NYAA Booklet. Thanks to my colleague who fetched me to school, he fetched me back home too! I ran up to my room and searched frantically for my little booklet (which could be anywhere) except that I prayed for God to let me find it. There it was on my table! :) I could have spent 1 hr searching for it and probably nvr find it hahahahaha

Been happily in God's care and its strange coz it seems that I will nvr fall into anything bad or get depressed now..coz of Him. Just seems like its impossible! Im happy about that!
In fact...I should be overjoyed! :P

Got an interview by Mediacorp today for the school Musical, Superstar. CHINESE!!

Hehehe k gotta go. take care! God Bless!

@ Granny's

At granny's now. Looking after her. She's 91 and older this year...

Getting worried abt her...when I do think abt it, I sneak into her room to see if she's still alive..very scary.....I dread the day of waking up one day to realize that she's gone....I shudnt even be saying this coz I have cousins reading this....But you know..1 thing Im glad...She's definitely going to Heaven! Got a christian song cd playing for her..hope she can sleep better...

Just watched Bulletproof monk..interesting..everlasting life huh...hmm scrolls and all...and chicks and hunks..fighting together and falling in love..yep...typical action packed movie...

Not much to comment now really...one of those, wanna blog but got nothing to blog about moments.

Ciaos.

God Bless!!!

Revelation?

Im using the last of my strength to write this entry and after which, I will sleep till dinner!

Just got back from church..today is a great day...

Some things made me feel so much closer to Jesus...

The pastor was saying that God's word is like raindrops, raining on us.... made me realize why I love the rain and water. Standing int he rain has a sorta peaceful thing to it...like being washed...And when I got out of church today and saw that the floor was wet and a slight drizzle, I thought to God, " Thanks Father for providing us with rain. I will look at the rain and remember your word"

The pastor also spoke of the criterias to be a redeemer by definition. Jesus is our Redeemer coz He paid for our salvation with His own life. What made me happier...was when Pastor spoke of the criterias. 3 things: The redeemer has to be related to you, He has to be wealthy and He must be willing.
Jesus is related to me, after all we all descended from Adam and Eve...so arent we all related? Indian, chinese, Filipino, Thai...Jesus and I are related. Not to mention that Jesus is the Son of God, who is my Father. So that makes me even closer to Jesus. How great is that? I admit that if I could have lived in Jesus's time, I would have run to Him and kissed His feet and follow Him. I wud have hid my face if I saw Him on the cross..my heart would have broken...But what could be better than have Jesus with me 24/7? God now lives in me and I in Him.
Jesus is also the richest man. He is richer than the richest human...because He is the creator of everything you see and know. He is all powerful...Who could be wealthier?
Lastly...the best part...He is willing. He willingly sacrificed for us.

Pastor also said that God didnt put Jesus on this earth as a backup plan when humans couldnt fulfill up to the 10 commandments. Since the beginning of time, God had in mind for Jesus to be born as a human...and this is linked to Jesus being related to me. Why did God create only Adam & Eve? Why not make a few more pairs of humans? Or throw out Adam & Eve? Maybe He didnt create any other humans because He intended on sending Jesus to save all of us. He made it so all of us are related...He made it so because He knew that humans cant fulfill the commandments.

I left the church..feeling like the most blessed person in this world...that I could have Jesus as my brother and relative...my saviour, my everything... And Im considering to get baptised soon. I used to wonder about the need for water baptism..or baptism in general and I realized that baptism is required and the Holy communion is required. Why? Jesus Himself went through the water baptism...so what the ideal christian does, shouldnt I follow? I used to think that I wasnt ready...and that I would never be ready...but thanks to God, I am! Ready to dunk myself in water and receive the Holy Spirit and if God so let me, that I could hear His voice...Of to hear His voice..would be to open the windows, lift up the screen, let the light in and lift me off from my doubts.

For those of you who dont know, Holy Communion isnt as scary as you think...or maybe Iwas the only one who thought so.... Holy communion is done to remember what Jesus did for us, He sacrificed His body and bleed for us. Its not to say that we really take the piece of bread as His body and the wine as His blood. Some people take it very literally but its meant as a memory..."Take this bread in memory of me..."
I admit that I was very sceptical about all this when I was young...but now Im not...Thanks to God...

I may sound scary to non-christians but if you knew my God, you would be drowning in love too.

Over the years..Ive learnt to take certain things lightly...coz I know God is there to help me solve them. I am not the depressed and worried little girl I used to be. Im not the person who used to think that I was a burden on others around me... I see soo many people in trouble and emotianl and mental difficulties..all struggling. So many people have this but whats the difference bewteen christians and non-christians? Is that every prob we as chrsitians have, we know God is there, He knows without us telling Him, He helps us through it..even if its something we did wrongly...a wrong path...But the frens I know who feel over the edge, who cant seem to get out of depression, who feel lost, who feelt he need to commit suicide, all seem to be non believers. I believe that no matter whta the problem, medical or emotional, God has the last say and what He wants to heal, heals.

You know what God says? Sit still! Dont worry! Leave it to Him!
God saved my dad from cancer, He brought me out of depression, out of a broken heart....

Speaking of which, Im very happy for a fren's fren who seems to be ont he road of leaving idols and walking into God's arms. I feel that He could be going to church for the wrong reasons...but none the less, its not wyh you enter the church...but whether God works in your heart and saves you. Since this fren is actively trying to understand God, I pray that He sees God. I pray that He will grow to love God. He seems to have thrown away all his idols and taken to a bible.
Thank you Jesus for another person saved! Praise be your name! You are so loving and with your open arms, welcome event he worst of people..as long as they are willingly to come to you.
You cover them with both arms and bare their sins...take their punishment..without even a sigh...Thank you Jesus!

Lastly..Father, thank you for bringing me out of a tough deep pit Ive tried to get out from for the past 3 years...a pitt hat I so foolishly jumped into, thinking that my ex would love me forever. No Doubt my heart was broken to bits and pieces and I was lost..not knowing how I could heal...but you Father whom I had once even rejected, took me back in and carried me out of the pit. I am now out of it...because I found a love that is even better...not to say that I will stick to being single...but that the love I once had will never be greater than this love I have now.

K Im done...I shall go sleep now...God Bless you. And He will! :)

kids nowadays.....

had a strange tuition on friday...

Let me start by explaining that I was a very creative kid when I was young (ya ya) Must be the shows I watched...Back to the Future, Home Alone, Spiderman, Mac Gyver, Indiana Jones (all time favourite)

I rememeber when I was young, I drew a house that had many booby traps and elevators and rope ladders and hidden rooms.... An elaborate drawing with many escape routes.

I tried this project with my tuition kid and you know what? It didnt work! he had other things in mind like death traps where the floor tiles cave in to reveal a spiky end, or satellites that roam around the house, seek and destroy. It was more of fight than defend or run. He has a laser room! Room with deadly lasers man! And he has a nuclear or atomic bomb in his backyard, underground!

Man! His house is so lethal that no burglar would even try to go in! What happened to glue anf feathers and paint? what happened to childish innocence? This same kid triesto wiggle out of problems by saying, "I dont know....I think its too difficult for me. Im only Pri 1"

Its really scary....But come to think of it...his ideas are creative in a way..just not the creativity i wanted hahahahhaa Is technology playing such a big part that all a kid can come up with is a killing machine that seeks and destries and all u need to do is press"start" on the remote control.

I guess this actually makes me think abt what I would do if I had a kid....spanking is inevitable and no power rangers or beetle warriors or watever samurais they have nowadays...its a brain juice drainer...Id give my kid loads of paper and pencils and crayons and paint and piano lessons hahahahahah and a dog. and when he or she is first born, I'd give him/her a stuff toy. and that will be one of the few stuff toys he/she will have. Hahahahah wah lao! Evil! Hahahahahahaha

k well those are thoughts...if God thinks I shudnt have such a way then I'll adopt or sponsor hahaha

K anyway Im gone..gonna sleep for awhile and Ive got an event to host later.

God Bless!

The evil claws of competition...

This competition thing is seeping into my blood. I could kikc myself int he ass for being such a jerk...

The whole day was rehearsals....its gotten to be quite a drain actually but I do love it...I guess whats killing me most abt this whole musical..is the competition.... I been an arrogant idiot and now I should smack myself because Ive probably sacrificed my own role...all for ignorance....and for jealousy...

I wanna buck up...yet i fear its too late. By end this week, the final people are decided and I cud well be a "have been" grim...

But you nkow what i hate most? knowing that I was soo human to depend on my own strength and not God's...Why lah Ning....even now do you not trust in God?

Hmm other than all this, its been good. Work is busy and fruitful but could be a killer at times..yet I cant complain when I wanna learn rite?

K well I pray to God to make me more tolerant and more aware of my behaviours and control them. I pray for a better me...

As for those of you who care so much for me..thanks..much appreciated. I may not say much about things now...coz I have no time and I have no motivation to discuss such things...

I dont wanna go back into my own secluded self because that would get me into my old self blaming and self depreciating ways....I wont!

Father, carry me away from jealousy and fear and worrying...

Gotta go Folks! TC and God Bless!

passion2

The VCD stopped halfway...even so I couldnt keep my eyes on the screen whenever the beatng scenes are on....

I could hate the roman soldiers in the movie....for taunting Jesus and mocking and beating and torturing Him....but He wouldnt let me. Because He says, "love thy enemy as thyself" What simple 5 words but what meaning it encompasses..... how do you do something like that? Why would you even want to do that?!?!

How an someone risk His life for people whom dont even appreciate Him? How? Do you see the worth in sacrificing for your enemies, rsking seeing them scorn and grin for your stupidity? Yu might as well be diggin your own grave and jumping in! But He did just that!

He had his fears..He sweat blood on the night that he was caught by temple guards....medically its possible by the way. It occurs when you are terrified and overcome by fear...

How?

I gotta go...rehearsal gonna start. God Bless!

the passion....

For weeks and probably months, Ive delayed my watching this movie because I know how disturbing it would be to me. Sure enough it was....I felt pain...I cried...I felt weak int he knees and I felt..ashamed...and guilty...and scared...

I had to take a breather from the movie because I cudnt take the pain all at one shot..I cudnt take seeing the chracter suffer. Yet if I was the chracter..I would have the privilage of pressing the pause button and rest before continuing the torture...

And what hurts most is that everyone around mocked him and laughed and condemned Him...including me......ashamed? Yes....why? Coz even know..even when I know who He is...I still dont know who He is. Im like all the other people int he movie that used to sit by and hear his words and yet..when it really mattered...I dont trust Him... In the movie, the people chose to let a killer go than letting Him go. Why? Why did they do soemthing so stupid? Isnt a killer worse?
Then I thought about it...which was worse? Someone who claims He's king and stirs a revolution, or a killer? Someone who was a threat to a unified yet blinded religious people. or a killer? For a people sp bent and stuck to their religion that they saw Him as a bigger threat than the worst killer....makes sense in their time....I do know one thing...
That everyone was so blinded by sin that they saw the killer as a good man..equal to their kind. As it says in the Bible....Christians will be as outcasts and condemned...like Him...they will be rejected by people of the world....The killer was their own....while He was condemned.

Yet you know whats funny. Its true! He could have lifted up even a twitch in his finger or eyebrows or even think abt it and it will come true. He could cast all from his midst, break free from chains and walk away healed of all scars..but no He didnt. Cause He was here to die. he was here to stand by the lashing post and be caned and clawed to all ounces of pain. Why? For those who had, do and will eventually believe in Him. The stupidest thing to do if you think on human terms...and He is born a man....but for those who realize what and who he did it for....not so stupid afterall...

I know all this is true...because I know and I feel....Because through the ages...nothing has been so constant as the christian religion...so many things have happened and so many people ahve witnessed. Because through Him do many things make sense...

to be continued... part 2 soon.............

Sing my song..you can sing along.... :)

Things are alot better! Thanks Father for making me feel better! Maybe its justt he weekends! hahahahahahaha

Rehearsals have been good and the recording is done...between recordings, my fren and I have decided to do a mini show for the musical hahaha we will do our own "not so live" podcast hahahahah SO FUN! Hahahahahahhaha

Lots of work int he office :( What to do... I wanted sooo much to joint he rest int heir trip to town but looks like it wont be possible. Even if I didnt have work, I would still have to come back rite.

Just bought myself a travel version of scrabble :P small and compact that can bring around to play hehehehehehe wonder if my tuition kid would appreciate it....

Anyway..back to work! K ciaos and God Bless!

God blessed me with more time...

More time to blog!

Got loads to be thankful abt besides time...

Thank God for always blessing me with the right way in life. I cud very well be dead by now after almost drowning, getting lost and risking being kidnapped, getting lost again, dying from bronchitis, and falling off a slope....etc...so many close shaves but no wounds and no injuries. God has been my guardian, keeping his eyes on me even when He's busy guiding the world.

I mentoined before that every hesitation I had from my decisions showed that I wasnt ready for that move..God made the decisions for me...I could also see it as God's way of telling me whats right and whats not.

Praise God for being so great! :)

KK ciaos peeps! God Bless!

This sucks!

I hate wanting to blog and trying to remember what I wanna talk abt yet I cant...by the time I get to sit down and blog, Ive forgotten all that I wanted to say... :((((

The wekend was sooo packed! Sat I went down to my anna's (ie, brother) event, it was quite a good turn out and things went smoothly except for kiasu and greedy singaporeans.... free milo was given for each participant and people decided to cheat the organisors by queing for 2, 3 times more. And when they rejected one of the aunties from doing so, she said they were not fair to her because other people can take more but she cant. In my head i wanted to scream at the auntie and ask her, "what abt those who havnt gotten their cans yet? Then if no more milo, its not fair to them rite!" Auntie so smart to cheat us lah that auntie.
Then, another 2 aunties were rejected from taking their subway lunch because they were all reserved for the players..the aunties started to complain that they were racist coz my bro was the one who said,"no" hahah funny thing is that all the helpers giving out were all chinese!
AUNTIE! BE MORE REASONABLE AND LESS GREEDY CAN?!?!?!

Then yesterday I had a wonderful experience..Taal Express. Wish I knew how to describe it man! Its hearing tamil and hindi and bhangra music in one concert! My fren and I (both of us are chinese) went and for the 1st time out of Little India, we were minority. But the music was soo excellent that I cudnt help but shake my head. Power!
Cud have killed my head for being late. We ended up sitting on the steps. Gave up our seats to 2 aunties because I felt bad booking a seat for my latecomer fren. Blech!

K anyway, I better go off now...my turn is coming to sing :P Had more to say but dont think that I'll have time to do so.

BTW...good news, fabulous news! My ex and I have come to a truce. It hurts but Im glad that I could clear everything everything everything with him. I dont deny that I still love him but at least I still have him as my Bestest Best Bro. Im a lucky sister to have a bestest best bro. Before i left Goptham Penthouse on sat nite/sun morning, I gave him a huge hug and a small kiss on the side and said, "take care bestest best bro" ....Yes it does hurt...
But now it hurts coz my bestrest best bro will be leaving me for UK even before we could even be closer frens again. Will I ever be able to talk to him like I used to? I dont know...but its good to know that there is someone out there who cares so much for me and understands me so much. Only prob is I cant call him or email him and expect an instant reply. Gonna miss my bro......As a farewell, we and our mutual fren danced together. I spit on my hand and made him promise to come back to sproe to visit...the old fashion spit and shake...
One day I'll prove to his mum that chinese people are good people too...even in relationships....

K seriously gotta go. TC youall! God Bless! Father...keep my bros and sisters safe...even those that hurt me...I wont cry coz I can control it...

Yoh yoh yoh!

Sooo whats new int eh blogger's world.....emmmm....
Before you come to conclusions that my pc is back on, its not...using my sister's yah.
yesterday's blog was quite a speedy one so what was said was probably jibberish hahaha oh well..givent eh timing and all.
Today seems to be a lazy day for me..nothing much int he morning...my BBBro's birthday party is tonight and somethings haunting me not to go. Coz i would have to go throught he whole procedure of telling dad and explaining why its gonna be sooo late. Yet...its my BBBro..he wont be in singapore from next month on and if Igo today, I'll get a chance to see everyone today. All our frens. Somesorta like a get together. Thats prob the reason I should hold on to....
The training has taken a toll on me...aching knees and aching everything. Feel like my legs could crumble under me anytime soon....but the reviews we got from yesterday's performance for teh directors and stuff, was an encouragement! :) Thanks to God.
Wonder if I'll get abs after this hahahahahahah
The musical is 3 months away...abit scary when you think about it. Gotta go for recordings next week for the musical :P
You inow..I do believe Ive said this before...but I'll say it again. When I 1st wanted to join Spore Idol...I was really worried. Fame, publicity and stuff...trimmed eye brows...make-up...
I was hesitating alot! Eventually, I still went for the idol and got kicked out. But you know what...I didnt get dissappointed to the point of crying...God brought me up and helped me get over it within the next day. The most beautiful thing....God knew I wanted to sing, that i wanted to dance and wanted to act..and He put me int he musical..He got me out of Idol because He knew that the Musical would be something I would love to work on even more. Lesser backstabbing, more fun, more teamwork. :)
The funny thing? i get to work with the same trainer as the Idols do, Babes Condez! She was one of my drives to get into Idol, I get to be on the big stage. I could be on Presidents Star Challenge (TV) which I bet with every single dollar that the Idols would be going for too. I get to sing greeat songs..original might I add! I get to put on less make-up (I play a blind girl) I get to do recordings...:) and on top of all that, I get to work with one of Singapore's most original songwriters, Jimmy.
He is someone whom I always thought would be bitchy or stuck-up, given the fame or exposure and expertise...who wouldnt? Dick has it! K before I get sued...I should just shut up abt him. Amazingly and thankfully, Jimmy doesnt have that air. He is the most patient and understanding songwriter and celebrity I know. I have sooo much respect for him....He writes songs that motivates all of us to perform our best...He organises the choir with so much ease and patience and makes us sing like angels (we were devils to start with) I can definitely say that I feel very honored and privilaged to be working with him!
So what is it that I have now? Everything I could ask for....everything I wanted minus the things I didnt want from the Idol. :) Thank you Father! I have people who support me...frens whom I can trust...and be kiddish with....I have a job that is less paying but that I enjoy alot. I have a better look at life and bigger faith.
Moral of the story? Dont be dissappointed by circumstances...coz when you look back later, you'll know why things happened. God leads you only on the right way...only the right way.
To end things off, gotta tell you about my sister and my World Cup jokes :P...
I dont know if you guys know...one of the England players, Lampard? Well I saw his name and the first comment I gave...was "how dot he chinese uncles call him?" Then when he scores, they'll go, "Haiyah that Lum Pah Score again ah!" This joke got bth my sis and surprisingly my mum laughing till no end hahahahahahah
The 2nd joke that my sis contributed was for the gonzalez player from Argentina :) She said that Gonzalez(s) are known to run quite fast. I asked her for an example and all she could give me was.............Speedy Gonzalez? Hahahahahahahahaha
Thank God for a sister who seldom acts her age :P If she did, Id have 2 mums hahahahahhahahaha

Father, I look back and see only 1 pair of footprints, I know you've been carrying me....I know you're helping me steer and bring me back to you and I will glorify your name. :)

Ning

bloggidy blog blog!

k the much awaited new entry. My fren was complaining about me not updating my blog. Well, heres an update...my pc is officially dead and so I cant use it at home.
Since ive been busy with my musical camp, I dont even get a chance to use my office computer to blog so there! that explains why I cant update you guys!
Life has been good but very tiring. My legs ache and my throat hurts...But you know what, all is rewarding and alll is good when I can finally sing and dance at the same time hahahah something I deemed was as hard as climbing Mt everest.
The previous weekend, I got a chance to go ice skating hahaha Let me count the years that I havnt done that...ohhh abt 2 to 3 years? Not since...ehmm...well we all know. And much as I didnt want it to happen...evidentlly, God had plans to make me remember. Alot of things happened that day that made me think back...Amazingly, the very unoccassional bubble thing that Jurong East Ice skating ring gives out..did happen. If im not wrong, that same thing happened on my birthday 3 years ago and my ex was there hahaha may seem nothing...but I dont believe in coincidences. Lets all say this together, "WATEVER!"
After that really fun and mind you I only fell twice hahahah (due to sabotage) I joined my sis at mac donalds to watch World Cup, Emm...Holland Vs Srbia and....something hahahaha The fun wasnt int eh game...(to me at least) the fun was in the company and the environment. Its alot of fun hanging with my sis coz she seldom acts her age around me! Hahahaha or out of the house....Its like our age difference just shrinked from 8 yrs to 8mnths hahahahahahahahaha And having 2 bros there (the crappiest of the crappies) was enough to birghten my evening. it is a day to remember hahahahah

More news...my bestest best bro is leaving to UK for good...It hasnt been bugging me actually but the prospects of losing someone whom I hold so dearly to the heart yet cant pluck enough courage to even tellt he person....and knowing that Id never really see the person ever again...thats not me...Im not someone who can give up a fren easily...especially not this one. When I rememebr the times we had...it never fails to bring a smile to my face. Contrary to what alot of my close frens think, I still love this bro alot.....sad...sad...saw this coming...but still sad. I sorta feel as if even this bro is dead...If i know this bro well enough, it takes superman to keep in touch with him....and it takes superwoman to help me pluck up courage to do so...yes my heart aches...to see my bestest best bro go...like saying farewell to a kin that has died and having soo much to tell him/her..yet..too late...certain things shouldnt even be said...
Just started to consider songwriting again...my singing coach has given me soo much inspiration but the biggest inspiration..is my Father, God. Looked at my old song , "Dont end up like me" When I wrote it, it was after JC days...I worked for awhile...at that point of time, I liked this guy in my church. It was one of those one-sided things and this guy happened to be going to UK for awhile. Before I even knew what love was..I thought that this guy could probably be the one hahahha and so when he left, I wrote this....I never showed him this by the way. Dont even know if he even reads this blog! But i do still regard him as my bro. not a close one..but still a bro. Tis song was entirely based on facts...The lyrics wasnt accurate. it was exaggerated. But guess what! This song seems to fit entirely into the life Im in now hahahahahhaha
Its storyline fits everything that happened between my ex and I. Sorta seems like id written it for the future. And I could sing it and laugh and look at the sky and say, "Father..." This song also happens to be the song I won 2nd prize with in a songwriting Competition...the song that my frens love and one of which listens to sleep hahahahahha whatever makes them happy....
Since I got news of my ex leaving...Ive been wondering what my reaction should be. Should I be a fren and risk myself jumping back into solemnness or be a stranger and pretend that he wasnt ever in my life...risking our frenship which was to be...the best thing that came out of it...a frenship that is too hot for me to even hold..even though I want to...
If Jesus was in this situation..what would he have done? I hate to say this but I still love this guy hahahaha no matter how I made a vow or a pact with God. But out of all of this..I know God still shows me the way. Thank you Lord.
Soo the boredom has come and all of you are yawning. I know Im long-winded and repititive..chances are..Id grow up to be a naggy mum or grandma who insists that her children not dye their hair and not smoke...btw...more prohibitations to smokers in Spore! Hurrahhh!
My Father (God) has blessed me with frens who are tolerant...and caring...

Gotta go now. Rehearsals are on!
LOVE YOU ALL!

6.6.06

Wow what a day!

Work work work work..sushi lunch...work work work

Been trying to get myself in line...I keep feeling that im not organised (true)..not ..not...im just so..messy......Godzilla has moved in again..unfortunately..no rent paid...Im still quite a poor girl in financial senses....

Lotsa things I wanna do....World Vision....give money to parents..a long to do list....

Anyway..time to go off. fren's PC.

God Bless!

Woohooo! Another baby to be born!

:P Got a close fren who's gonna have a kid! Girl or Boy I dont know but its cool! Its quite scary too actually coz this fren of mine is 1 year older than me only!

Im glad my family members and relatives dont ask me "when you getting married or when you gettng a bf" Only ones asking are my frens hahahaha haiyoh why so urgent?

When it comes, it comes! When it doesnt, God takes care of me. Well...God takes care of me regardless of my marital status hahahahaha so there! theres an eg of a good husband! Hahahahaha k im startingto talk crap.

K well seriously...(i know im repeating) God will guide my eyes and my hands and my heart....there will never be a second time that I look away from God's instructions with regards to someone i like. If he says ,"No!" I would say, "No!".

God Bless!

Time off for God

Its very interesting how God has given me such a blessed weekend.

For the past months Ive been asking myself so many questions..about whether my faith in God or love in God is real...If i question my level of love, there has to be a problem right? why am I not as enthusiatic and evangelical crazy than other christians? Why do I not feel the need to head into the jungle or rural areas and spread His name and Word? what is tongues and is speaking tongues even true? ive heard so much about these things and it makes me wonder if Im truly a christian or new born....What makes a born again? How does God's voice sound like? How glorious it would be to hear God's voice...

But you know out of all these questions...I was thinking to myself that the fact that I question myself...means that I have a conscious want to love God and Jesus more...means..I love Him? A very weird logic I learnt long ago that makes abit of sense..

But...amongst all that doubting that Im a christian..that God doesnt really listen to all my prayers....He gave me people to talk to regarding my faith...sunday afternoon, i met a fren's fren for coffee. This fren's fren brought his fren along and his fren and I unknowingly started to talk about chritianity...I must say that the talk is very refreshing..I havnt had such a chat ith someone for such a long time and it felt good to tell people about God...

This morning, I sat my colleagues car to work and we talked about christianity. Funny thing is that i had the intention of talking to him about this but I didnt know how to start...but when I got into the car, he was playing christian songs and that was the way we got into the topic. In fact my fren's fren is asking if He can follow me to church. Might be for the wrong reasons...but I hope in the process...God helps him..God opens his once opened heart.

Throughout the whole night that I was thinking to myself and praying to God about all this, He gave me comfort by providing me with opportunties...I know He's smiling now....

Likewise for now...i feel alot better blogging this...

A simple blessing God gave me today...was to help me with my work. The most stressful thing I had to do today...was to call students and get them to attend a presentation tomorrow...quite last minute...alot of energy required to convince students to go ...marketing... But God did all the work. He got me a whole group of students from my colleague...but also 2 other students who are very enthusiatic to go tomorrow. :P

Thanks Father!

My colleague (who drives me to work) and I have not finished our discussion and I long for another session like that.

God Bless!

Wohoooo!

Em its been awhile since Ive blogged lots to tell boy!

Last friday, had a photoshoot for the school musical. I was transformed into an ugly duckling (quite the irony) had to be a blind girl who tries to be fashioonable..but cant see what her clothes look like..sooo intead of derssing herselg up, she creates a mess of a fashionstatement. A fashion designer's nightmare.
The makeup artists got a shock at my attire and she felt so bad for me that my makeup had to be all messed up (im blind! I cant see where my lipstick goes wat) but she did admit that she liked my attire. Unbelieveable...how can she still like my attire? She hot ironed my hair to give me curls..and i MEAN CURLS! I felt like a poodle..a retro junkie!
Everytime someone came to see me..they would try NOT TO laugh..sigh
Im quite ready to say that my fate is sealed. By the end of the musical, Id have weird people calling me. Weirdos! Freaks! AARRgghhhh!
The photoshoot..eventually..did go better than i expected. Its funny how such a bizzare image can come out so well...when I looked at the pics...I was amazed! I honestly thought for one moment that my pics are from some fashion magazine! Im not saying my modelling skills are good...but the colours, the clothes, the background colour used...soo fashion magazine-y!
Anyway...i ended up making frens with the makeup artist hahaha whos veryvery nice lady! I started to talk to her in cantonese and judging from the languages she speaks...I know she's malaysian hahahaha
My frills are now gone (thank heavens!) Everyone is suggesting i keep it coz it works better for me than straight hair. Im now back to normal life hahaha

Sat, had basketball, SPGG and lunch and now Im aching hehehehe Wohooo! success! been sick for the past few days..since wednesday...having mean headaches and stomaches...thankfully I didnt puke (much as I was very ready to) Anyway...Im alot better now! Thanks Father!

Church today! Cant wait!

Gotta go! LOve you all!

Shout out to SAAD!!!! Hey brother! Come home! We're all missing you! where are you?!?!?!

God Bless!