This competition thing is seeping into my blood. I could kikc myself int he ass for being such a jerk...
The whole day was rehearsals....its gotten to be quite a drain actually but I do love it...I guess whats killing me most abt this whole musical..is the competition.... I been an arrogant idiot and now I should smack myself because Ive probably sacrificed my own role...all for ignorance....and for jealousy...
I wanna buck up...yet i fear its too late. By end this week, the final people are decided and I cud well be a "have been" grim...
But you nkow what i hate most? knowing that I was soo human to depend on my own strength and not God's...Why lah Ning....even now do you not trust in God?
Hmm other than all this, its been good. Work is busy and fruitful but could be a killer at times..yet I cant complain when I wanna learn rite?
K well I pray to God to make me more tolerant and more aware of my behaviours and control them. I pray for a better me...
As for those of you who care so much for me..thanks..much appreciated. I may not say much about things now...coz I have no time and I have no motivation to discuss such things...
I dont wanna go back into my own secluded self because that would get me into my old self blaming and self depreciating ways....I wont!
Father, carry me away from jealousy and fear and worrying...
Gotta go Folks! TC and God Bless!
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