Whats wrong with me ah?!?!?!

I admit..Im pissed w myself... :( Dissappointed lah....

I had an appraisal last month and my boss was telling me that I was not meticulous enough...that i lacked confidence and I was so ambitious that my mind couldnt keep up. I learned alot fromt hat appraisal and I really wanted to change! I know I have to be more conscientious and meticulous because my job recquires me to be so...but how exactly do you do that? How do I keep in mind to be meticuous and pay attention to things? Since I started work, Ive done alot of sill things. Though none of them have been highly serious (but for one), it still affected me. I would sooo want nothing to happen on my watch...really...I want to walk ut of the office knowing that I had done allt hat I was supposed to do on that day....I want to pass my boss a doc that I know would not be wrong format-wise...only a few glitches in the phrasing. Im not asking for perfect score...Im just asking for no silly mistakes! And yet..Ive had a hard time even doing that... :(

I feel...incompetent...like id never fit intot he events management job scope...but it is one fo the things Id find it fun and exciting to do! I dotn want to give that up!

I was talking to my fren just now abt this...it jus seems to me like Im a huge contradiction..waiting to explode... Im ambitious..yet my mind isnt processing things fast enough for me to go faster or as fast as my aspirations. I/m a serious lazy bum who likes to procrastinate...yet I dont like to rush things at teh last minute...

I know I sorta dissappointed my colleagues today...and yesterday...and I wish I cud hit my head against the wall and make things right...if only it was that easy.... :( Is it cuz I just graduated? Is it a fresh grad's symptom? Alot of thigns require constant training...but would anyone be willingtot rain you so many times without wondering whether to just fire you and look for someone who's more capable? Dont lie! I know it did cross your mind! I have to be more focused? more meticulous and more conscientious? Wihich eads me t wonder how pple can be on their toes 24/7...thinking of why things are...thinging of ....the way they think and I think is..different! Sorta makes me wonder whether I can even survivie int eh working world man! Its tough!

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