Today I had one of my ISC students come to me again and we were discussing abt having a website and newsletter and all...
As i surfed the quite defunked ISC yahoo groups...I found this..allforning...
Many of my ISC yr 3 students didnt know abt my past, but those who know..are shocked. Yet while some of there were wondering who their past president's gf was and thought abt how lucky and blessed she must be..none of them realized what the nickname stood for. After sooo long, seeing that was ....numbing. For a solid 30 seconds..I looked at the thing with little numbness..the more i saw it, the more I floated back to reality. Had it been then...I wud have been smitten...now...just pure pity...
Maybe he used it before we broke up..from the date..it was only a couple days before....and the nic didnt match the email add..meaning...he used it on purpose with his own email. Even now...if he drops a msg into the yahoo groups...it will still be that nic...pity...I guess he couldnt change his nic because its now fixed....so everytime he drops a msg...its the same haunting nic....Even his msgs have lost their luster :/
Pity pity pity....what can I say...
I know after soo long that..this nic no longer means anything and thats what I wud prefer to think...If I followed the saying, "ask and ye shall receive" I wudnt have gotten out of my pit so not seeing is believing :/
But I will always agree with my ISC students for one thing...he is someone to be respected....I would totally agree! Whoever he ends up with next time...I will go up to her, give her a hug and say," you made the right choice, I dont know you but Im happy for you" then walk to him and say," Im happy for you too. You deserve someone who loves you wholeheartedly. Im glad you found her." and give him a small hug and in the happiest fashion possible, walk off. :)
Till you finally find someone who makes you feel an overflowing urge to love the person more....a bottomless pit of ideas to make the person happy and the overflowing joy when the person his happy and the over flowing bitterness when the person is not happy (be it your fault or not)...you have never found love. Giving up somebody for their sake maybe the ultimate expression of love...but it could also be the ultimate heartbreaker when you do it without a mutual consent and understanding...
As I sit here and type this, I know many of my frens shakng their heads and going,"here she goes again" The diff between the me last time and now....is that Jesus is the person I look to and not him.
Anyway, I know this whole feeling will blow away..its temporal...pity
God Bless
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment