Heavy rain...

I dont now if the whole spore was raining but the rain was sooo bad n ugly that my colleague and I were getting abit woried that it might be a sign of worse thigns to come. I know Im being superstitious...but when was the last time u saw the sky in fury? Ive never in the past 2 years..seen somethign as bad as this! I cudnt help but feel a deep fear in me...

Anyway..that wasnt the only thing that teh rain had done to me. For months...i have held fortress to something I wud never let my guard down again. Ive tried means and ways to get over certain things that was so excrutiatingly hard to get over that....you wud never have wanted to see me in my initial stages. Fort he 1st time in a long while...the rain had proven to big...it had made a hole in fortress...yes...i teared...(u can start saying, "wat again!" now) I teared coz this rain had to bring back memories..like certain things still do. Which is abt why i dont do certain thigns anymore. (u can start saying," why like that? I thought ur over it?" now) *Note a touch of sarcasm
I have frens who told me these exact same things before..telling me that i can get over it...some fo them..are going through the same shit now...yes I can through the inital suffering! Why not! But i dont think Id get over it completely. Like I said before in my last entry....you lose abit of you. The more the rain poured, the more my heart sank...
As i walked across the overhead bridge and looked at the cable cars go by...i was afraid for those in it. Common-sense wud tell you to stop pple from taking them and stop the cable cars from moving right? Well..if there were passengers, I was praynig for them.
This sounds sad and melancholy and...depressing...but for a few mins..i wondered what wud happen if i was going to die...im not talking abt whether i walk down a long dark tunnel and the light at the end of it..Im talking abt who Id want to say bye to last...family? frens?
I know that i wud never wanna go b4 saying gdbyes n love yous..

LOVE