Sunday, September 25, 2005

If God could hear me now...please help...

I just got back from the hospital...my auntie is sick.
The hospital always has a way of getting people to realize how fragile life is and how our loved ones can be so close to leaving us. I saw my auntie lying on the bed sleeping. waking up to get a drink (she can only drink now..no solid food) Brings back memories of my grandpa and grandmas being in hospital...how some of them were in dangerous conditions yet...we could only deceive ourselves and be positive.
My auntie has been fighting cancer for years...since my pri sch days i think. Every 5 years, it comes back to haunt her....bone cancer (dont know teh right term for it)...it breaks my heart...now..she's got stomach cancer... Never have i seen a person get 2 cancers at a go! How can anyone be fighting something like this sooo long, only to hae it come back every 5 years?!?!?!
How long more can she survive? Yet....everytime i used to see her, she was full of love....maybe thats how she chose to deal w it.
As usual, my other auntie (her eldest sister) would be there, looking after her...same for their parents. Its always beent eh big sister who stays in w them. I cant help but admire my big auntie. Wat dedication...
My uncle came in (younger auntie's husband /bf) He looks more dazed and weak....obviously...after her "food" he stodd beside her, her head on his chest and his head on her head as he slowly pat her back n made her burp. She hasnt eaten for a long time...too much air.

Honestly....I dont know if the cancer will ever go away. Im assuming that the bone cancer is getting more resillient to medication...
I fear the time that I wud have to see one of my family members go...be it my grandpa or grandmas or aunties or uncles. ive already lost one auntie to cancer cum stroke 5 years ago (in hong kong) Thisi guess...wud be what i fear most in life...to lose the ones i love...

God....please let my auntie get well...restore her back to her healthy n cheerful self...dont torment her with having to live every day knowing that she will die of cancer... :(

love

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