yeah....i can be such an irritating fren...

you know..as the saying goes...no one is perfect. no one can be liked by everyone. Im starting to wonder who hates me hahahaha what would it be liked to be hated? honestly im not a fan of being disliked or complained abt..but im curious what itd be like to be hated...hmm

Well...to those of my frens whom i have irritated or made angry..int eh past few days...im sorry but i hope you all know where im coming from. My temper n my character have changed since poly...i know that.

Heres my story...

I have alot of frens who are either often late..or often not answering calls...or often not doing both...or maybe just plain Missing In Action. These frens I call once in awhile but not often because I know they dont pick up their calls. There are dozens of times where I want to meet up with them but these times are rare and ad hoc (sudden availability to meet up)
When I do decide to call them up for an adhoc session...I think abt where they are n if they're busy. Naturally.., if I do call them out, it wud be because I thought they were free, in the neighbourhood. Of course Im not always right. Everyone has their own stuff to do rite? But I gues all i wud love to have...was a call back or an sms back to say, "sorry girl, busy now." or "hey! BZ now. sorry"

K some of you wud be wondering..why not msg them? True! But...if you have an ad hoc plan.., wudnt u need a reply asap? If u had plans for next sunday or next month..or even day afetr tom..u cud sms! By all means!

I know I sound liek a granny...but what happens if it was an urgent call? wat happens if the person onte h other line were in contemplating to commit suicide? isnt that why suicide considerers have a hotline that is 24/7? What happens if ur fren is on that thin line and is calling to say bye or calling to hear someone talk them into it? I know Im not someone who will commit suicide..but it doesnt have to be me.
Like my boss says...assumptions make and ass out of you.
I had a fren once..who was in the depths of her depression..she was soo ready to cut her wrist n let it bleed. She called my other frens n called me. Some of them were worried..but not worried enough to think she'd really do it. I was one of the few who did answer her call n heard her cry her heart out. I cried too after her phone call coz...I could imagine her doing it n I cud imagine what id feel if my fren did kill herself and her last calls were for us. Thank Heavens!!! My fren is still living n happily in love.
I also have a fren who has never rejected a call...esp in the late hours...she swore to herself that she wud never not pick up the phone. Why? Coz her best fren called her n she missed it. The call she missed contained the frens last words to her...

Fine! Im Paranoid! Im exagerating! But answering a call wudnt be hard..or smsing either...just one small sms...It makes things go alot easier... I understand how pple complain abt incoming calls being costly...well...an sms wud do rite.
I am dissappointed that i didnt get a chance to catch up w frens...but i wudn be as dissappointed or upset...if i just knew whether it was a yes or no..instead of waiting for 1/2 hour n finally take the initiative to move on...only to hear that they were in the same area but didnt call me back..thus..didnt get to meet. I know pple are busy or in a meeting..fine...but if you did receive my call...and you werent busy....please...reply....at least reply n not leave it for another day or hour or month....dun blatantly laeve it out just coz u know its me and so its unimportant...I know a dozen times when I needed someone to talk to..to let my heart out...only to call n realize that none of them were there to answer their phones.

As for those who are late....dun make it a habit....esp if ur meeting someone downstairs ur place or 10mins away from ur house..all the more theres no excuse...or even worse...if u forget to meet them! Thats the worst Ive had n I did walk out on that meeting...IN fact..had I not gone up to my frens house to find her...I wud have been stupidly waiting for another 10mins...aside fromt eh extra 15mins iv already waited. It really makes no sense...brings to mind the theory that the pple who are often late..are those who live nearby to the meeting place.

IM picky! Im calculative! But being punctual and returning phone calls or sms or watever near that..is mere courtesy! Would you dot hat to your boss? In your work place?
And please dun be angry when someone does it to you...esp since you know u do it to others too.


After all this..I still have to say this...I love my frens...coincidentally, those that do this too me, are amongst my dearest frens...precisely why ive been able to tahan for so long. Ive held my tongue for the longest time that now..it seems like a bad idea to hld it any longer. I lvoe you guys! But this is a habit you have to kick! Its really not funny or pleasant. I see myself coming to a point where i get fed up and I walk away...I see myself calling you guys over less because I know i wudnt get a fast enough answer of whether to meet up. And I see myself not even saying anything even more...giving up on helping u change ur habits. Maybe thats the best way.



LIke I said..Ive become a very easily pissed off bitch...my temper is equivalent to that of my dads now....Im trying to control it but its these few things that irritate me the most...sad to say..Im not as patient as I was... u all take care..sorry.

love