What can I say? Ive suddnely become the most emotional person hahaha teared abt 4-5 times in church hahaha all happy tears by the way! Why? Simple! I felt God answering my queries, answering to my troubles and best of all, comforting me!
I admit that I wasnt that okay when I got home yesterday night. In fact when one of my sistas called me, she could tell I was crying...her reaction, "shit..." Hahahaha very endearing hahaha Thats why I took a break from everything and slept early.
I woke up in the morning feeling as if the whole Idol thing was a dream man! But that didnt last fro long coz by the time I was on my way to church, My brain went back to that again and I kept trying to tune my mind off that. I wasnt scolding myself...Iw as more like scolding Satan for making me think of it and not letting go. But you know what? I told myself that its Sunday...a day for God...so I had to tune my head off it. but you know what worked? when I stepped into the christian bookshop. Im not being crazy or radical...I didnt go in and literally come out with a psyched up mind and crazy broad smiel or what..I just went in because I was early...wasnt looking for something in particular...but when I came out...I was refreshed! I didnt expect it but I was! Cleared off Spore Idol!
Then as I waited for an hour in the queue...my mind started to wander again and I couldnt even concentrate on my bible...Then what worked the best...was the sermon...
My pastor being the lamest pastor Ive ever seen, was preaching about trials and tribulations...how in the valley of tribulation, there is a door of hope. he explains that tribualtions leads to perseverance, leads to charcter, leads to hope, leads to faith and then to grace. Sow e shouldnt see trouble as trouble...but as a way to be better christian. He explined how Hope in the bible is defined as confident expectancy. it isnt the "I hope so" that we all use. In fact, its more like, " I KNOW so" As I heard this, I was thinking to myself, "so whats the diff between faith and hope?" I thought about it and was mentally asking the pastor this...I sorta knew that God would help me pass ont he message...sure enough! He did explain it! In fact everything Iw as thinking to myself...came out! Faith is the substance of thigns hoped for. the analogy givent o us was that Hope was the mast of teh boat and Faith was the wind. Hope is the assurance even before the thing comes or occurs..hope in things that have yet to occur.
I know Idol was a trial and honestly I know I failed in a few things because of this...one is that ive dissappointed those who believe in me..and the other..is my faith in God.... But I knew in my heart that if I dont succeed, it could mean 2 things..one is that I didnt believe in God that He'd carry me through and I depended on my own strength...and the other is that much to my beliefs, God just didnt think that it was a good idea for me to be an idol! So Im fine either way coz I know that the door is closed and I have a better route to go. Like I said in the interview, "This is just a door thats closed on me, I have my life to live."
Another part of the sermon touched on God's love for us and our faith and hope in him. How we must believe in Him wholeheartedly and He will never dissappoint. No doubts! He will NEVER dissappoint. Which sorta brings ervybody's hopes up, including mine! What if God never had a plan to let me lead that way and I insist! Theres no doubts! I will nto be dissappointed! To gain Hope, we need to read the Word Of Bible and listen to the Word Of God. Ie: Read teh bible and listen to sermons..
The last bit...that it is never too late to believe in God...you are only late when God comes again. And you are never too sinfult o be loved by God because even the sinful people in the Bible have become people who have been blessed by God...eg: Bathsheba, Ruth and Rahab.
All thse legendary women were not teh best egs of women, status rise. One of them was a prostitute and another was from a cursed nationality (i think ) and yet! They were part of the line that came down to Jesus. They played a part so huge that if not for them, Jesus wouldn't even be born! God loves everyone including sinners!Thats why He sent His son down to save us! Prob with us is that we dont reciprocate this love. Due to sin...some of us dont know God at all, some of us know Him but are driven away from Him becuse of Satan. So long as you believe in Jesus, you will be saved!
John 3:16
For God so loved the woold that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him (Jesus), Shall not perish , but have everlasting life.
I came out of the hall, clear-minded. My Idol worries have now dissappeared and I dont consider it as a lose anymore. Coz it means God has better plans for me!I admit that I wasnt that okay when I got home yesterday night. In fact when one of my sistas called me, she could tell I was crying...her reaction, "shit..." Hahahaha very endearing hahaha Thats why I took a break from everything and slept early.
I woke up in the morning feeling as if the whole Idol thing was a dream man! But that didnt last fro long coz by the time I was on my way to church, My brain went back to that again and I kept trying to tune my mind off that. I wasnt scolding myself...Iw as more like scolding Satan for making me think of it and not letting go. But you know what? I told myself that its Sunday...a day for God...so I had to tune my head off it. but you know what worked? when I stepped into the christian bookshop. Im not being crazy or radical...I didnt go in and literally come out with a psyched up mind and crazy broad smiel or what..I just went in because I was early...wasnt looking for something in particular...but when I came out...I was refreshed! I didnt expect it but I was! Cleared off Spore Idol!
Then as I waited for an hour in the queue...my mind started to wander again and I couldnt even concentrate on my bible...Then what worked the best...was the sermon...
My pastor being the lamest pastor Ive ever seen, was preaching about trials and tribulations...how in the valley of tribulation, there is a door of hope. he explains that tribualtions leads to perseverance, leads to charcter, leads to hope, leads to faith and then to grace. Sow e shouldnt see trouble as trouble...but as a way to be better christian. He explined how Hope in the bible is defined as confident expectancy. it isnt the "I hope so" that we all use. In fact, its more like, " I KNOW so" As I heard this, I was thinking to myself, "so whats the diff between faith and hope?" I thought about it and was mentally asking the pastor this...I sorta knew that God would help me pass ont he message...sure enough! He did explain it! In fact everything Iw as thinking to myself...came out! Faith is the substance of thigns hoped for. the analogy givent o us was that Hope was the mast of teh boat and Faith was the wind. Hope is the assurance even before the thing comes or occurs..hope in things that have yet to occur.
I know Idol was a trial and honestly I know I failed in a few things because of this...one is that ive dissappointed those who believe in me..and the other..is my faith in God.... But I knew in my heart that if I dont succeed, it could mean 2 things..one is that I didnt believe in God that He'd carry me through and I depended on my own strength...and the other is that much to my beliefs, God just didnt think that it was a good idea for me to be an idol! So Im fine either way coz I know that the door is closed and I have a better route to go. Like I said in the interview, "This is just a door thats closed on me, I have my life to live."
Another part of the sermon touched on God's love for us and our faith and hope in him. How we must believe in Him wholeheartedly and He will never dissappoint. No doubts! He will NEVER dissappoint. Which sorta brings ervybody's hopes up, including mine! What if God never had a plan to let me lead that way and I insist! Theres no doubts! I will nto be dissappointed! To gain Hope, we need to read the Word Of Bible and listen to the Word Of God. Ie: Read teh bible and listen to sermons..
The last bit...that it is never too late to believe in God...you are only late when God comes again. And you are never too sinfult o be loved by God because even the sinful people in the Bible have become people who have been blessed by God...eg: Bathsheba, Ruth and Rahab.
All thse legendary women were not teh best egs of women, status rise. One of them was a prostitute and another was from a cursed nationality (i think ) and yet! They were part of the line that came down to Jesus. They played a part so huge that if not for them, Jesus wouldn't even be born! God loves everyone including sinners!Thats why He sent His son down to save us! Prob with us is that we dont reciprocate this love. Due to sin...some of us dont know God at all, some of us know Him but are driven away from Him becuse of Satan. So long as you believe in Jesus, you will be saved!
John 3:16
For God so loved the woold that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him (Jesus), Shall not perish , but have everlasting life.
Today, I really felt that God did talk to me. He knows I was sad and troubled about my future. What else could I do but sing? He knows Im doubting my future and He's telling me not to worry because with HOPE, I can accomplish anything I want. Because He is there! We are safe in His arms. With Him, everything that we think has risk...doesnt have risks...its all safe.
The prob with me now, is my self-condemnation and my lack of vision...somethign I have to get rid of before it takes me further away from God...
To all I love, Im praying for you. :) Im fine okay. Dont worry for me. I have God!
LOVE
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