Suddenly I feel as if I dont know my frens at all...I only know the one they show me...not what they do behind my back. Not that they all wanna stab me int he back....but that whenever I hear something abt them that they've been hidding from me, I get dissappointed..esp whe nits something...bad...
Have I been soooo critical of my frens that there isnt total honesty? or maybe I ask too much.
Its really very dissappointing....
Know Im stuck with 2 of my frens who are telling me diff things abt each other. Things I can only be shocked or surprised abt...yet in my mind...I dont know who to believe...both of them dont seem like that kind of person...yet I can only justify 50% of their chracters...the ones they show me... Maybe they arent even truthful to me...maybe all this while the fren I though I knew...has always been playing me like a fool... I cant believe this is all happening but..it could happen! Boht of these frens Ive regarded highly...both of these frens are valuable..both of these frens are my frens frens and...its like Im stepping on a time bomb or a landmine...just to get to the otherside....the truth...
Wats more amazing..is that...Ive never had this prob w my sec sch frens! (least so far)...Ive lived my tears n happiness w them and they've never once done anything like this... Or is it coz Ive been kept int he dark for soo long....coz nobody wants me to find out...
Is it coz they dont want me to get worked up? They dont want me to get upset n get angry w them? To disown them as frens? or is it coz they feel I have no need of knowing at all...that it realy is none of my business and that if I do know..it wudnt matter aything to them. Or maybe it was all intentional.
You must think im psychotic...Im dillusional or plain making a mountain out of a molehill...maybe...maybe... but wudnt some of you say that it does happen?
JUst wondering....Do we get smarter as we grow older...or more stupid?...
love
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