Back in the office...

Today feels like a regular monday...Im back in the office trying to finish some work coz I wont be in on wednesday..its a really sticky situation coz this fri n sat are Babies Proms days.

Yesterday...I was in tears when I was talking to my sis about our auntie..how she's going Home for christmas...its true...for the 1st time in a long time, I felt like the smaller sister again...putting my head on her shoulder..Guess my sis is alays the reasonable one. She put it in a very gd way...that my auntie is celebrating christmas every day when she's in heaven...We talked and I agree when she said that if it was my grandma (dad's side) she wudnt be able to take it...neither would I. If it was my grandparents, my mum, my aunt...I wudnt be able to take it that easily...Maybe Id totally lose all the energy in my legs? I dont know and dont think I wanna imagine now. Truth is..when I was very young...Id cry..imagining that my grandma left us...

Anyway...today I'm skipping aikido...if my sensei does another push n pull on me..I might end up crying n not stopping...watever it is..I know that I have to go back for the wake. Wont even be going home tonight coz the service is tom, the cremation is tomorrow...I have to be there...

You know...As they did the service for her yesterday...how they are begging for mercy for her sins..etc...I didnt feel we had to...for her I mean...I didnt think that at this point of time..begging God, Lord Jesus Christ, Virgin Mary, Clement Mary, Apostle, Saints etc etc wud matter. Because the judgement is already done the moment she died. In fact..I personally dont think that half of these people can help us gain any mercy. Only person we should speak to is God. The Lord Jesus Christ died for us for our sins and gave us a direct route of communication to God so then, why are we talking to everybody else to get htem to talk to God? Thats like my mum asking me to ask my dad wat he wants for dinner and me having to call her back and tell her the reply. How would God feel that his own kids cant even talk to him?
Im not saying we should disregard Virgin Mary altogether. She is part of a miracle and so she is special...but I feel that...God wants us to believe in no other God but him. To pray to no other gods but him. By pray...it wud also mean idolize...like money..like career...like anything that you hold in esteem equal to or greater than God. Rite? If thats the case...are we idolizing Virgin Mary?

These are my personal thoughts and I know its a contreversial issue. Many catholics might dislike what I think...but this is what I think...If you have a diff view, go ahead and tell me.

love