I made a mistake....

the ballet ended arnd...11:15pm. Saw a few frens on the way home n it really cheered me up just to see them!!! i hadnt smiled in...the past 45mins b4 seeing them hahahaha
Heres why:
I chose the wrong person to go with me. No doubt this person is someone i treat as a fren...yet when we meet up and talk..it really seems like theres nothing to talk about....I feel ilke theres a mix up of frequencies between us and the more I try to communicate, the moer I feel stupid.....I gave up after the intermission....mentally, I told myself that...this is an impossible fren to make...
Am I such a hard person to talk to? Whats wrong w me? Is it that I talk alot..talk alot abt myself? My sensitivity is often my undoiing.... :( I told myself that maybe I shudnt meet this fren anymore....sms and stuff will do. Not coz I dont regard him aas a fren...just tat meeting him wud bring abt discomfort for the both of us. If thats so, why put ourselves through this torture? I know guys who can irritate me tot he core. Honestly, there are times where I wish I didnt have to chat long w them. Maybe I'm one of those guys now. What if? Im not out to torture anyone....
I also admit that I have a liking for this guy...but maybe coz he resembles my ex.....Im ashamed even to think of all this. If so, all the more I shud control myself. Not that I call him or sms him every day k. I dont. its more like once a month or less. But what I realize is...he can never be my ex. Nor can anyoneelse. The next one can never be my ex...he can only be himself. Dont have to remind me that my ex is gone hahaha I know that...Ive gotten over the most of it. The leftover will be stored somewhere inside for my leftover years hahaha So today..was a mistake....
The ballet was excellent though hahaha Im impressed by the dancers but I still wudnt consider learning ballet or watching ballet often..i think it'd get to me after awhile. :)

love (tired)