I never had such a strong urge to write!

Byt he time I got home, the 1st thing iw anted to do was on my computer, get online n write an entry...have i become dependent on this? I guess so...
Was on the way home and its at these times where I think alot. Mostly abt what to do with my life and how my life has been so far. Was thinking abt the musical..the plot and its flow...got carried away n was thinking abt myself...
I thought of how every body has secrets and how even though they may look very chiry, they arent on the inside. Or some (like me) may look sulky and uninterested or stuck up, actually am thinking of somethingelse are am displaying that attitude for a different reason. Everything is kept secret...untold... And it brought me back to the reason why i love to read diaries or bibliographies etc...Because the story is told from a personal point of view...the writer as the 1st person..what he/ she really thinks...hopefully, a real person whjo lived. its like tapping into someone's whole lifestory..things the person thought of or felt but never really told....I love all that. But all this thinking made me come up w 2 themes that made me feel like drawing...these two themes somehow cant be expressed well with songs...I really wish I cud.
I dont know how to draw well but I'll visualize...the 1st one is the closeup of an eye. Perfectly good eye staring right back at the observor. The iris and its intricate design can be seen but the best part is the image in the eye. the image is the pic of a flower but is actually made up of a collage of sinnets of the person's life the good n bad n happy n sad. all in bright colours, forming the flower.
another is the image of a book w its pages opened up. the pages are filled with words...feelings of the writer..some angry, some happy, some tear stained...but towards the end, they slowly leave the pages to form a person..sitting on the floor, head buried between her knees...
I wish i cud draw... :)
Everything is in a mess....Im living teh days slowly....

love