nothing much...

Watched Eye for A guy. Dont scorn yet will yah! I wonder how much of it is real feelings and how much is acting. All I know is that Denise wasnt in a happy mood talking abt it and my heart goes out to her if she really feels something and yet has to be dictated into giving a decision that she doesnt want. (not that its happened coz i really dont know) A major contradiction of a reality show.
Dont know if its really linked but something we always talk about...how the public has the right to know...in this case..is the public really knowing whats real? or is it a story set in a closer to heart setting and more realistic setting? Its damn sad lah. hahahaha I also pity the guys..they're portrayed as love struck group of babe chasers when i doubt they are. I think alot of them would have a better sense.
Anyway.. I met up w one of my sistas this morning for breakfast and she was late by abt...45mins? somewhere there and if i hadnt called her house, she probably would have woken up later...she isnt the only one who does this to me...I think ive just come to a point where i get so pissed off....sigh...Regardless, convinced myself that it really wasnt her fault to blame....she had exams coming and she was burning the midnight oil. I expected that she'd do this to me because of all this. Plus, me knowing her, should have just slept in late and got her to call me when she wakes up. instead of just sitting at mac and waiting so long like a silly idiot. We talked abt everything...she called this the confession and catching up time. hahaha things we confess to each other...things we talked about....I treasure these times alot really. one thing she asked me which got me stumped...was whether Id get an indian bf again...im fine w all this now actually and as i thought of her qn...i really didnt have a straight answer to it. I admit that i do have a liking for indians now but it doesnt mean Ive rejected chinese altogether. I could only say that i wasnt sure...coz...the most impt thing was and is communication. I told her abt how my ex and I used to talk and how it felt like every conversation was....like going through soul searching and coming out cleaner and wiser... thats how it felt. And it was always abt anything n everything...and honestly, given a chance to find someone again, Id find someone who can make me feel that way again. Alot of pple ask me what Id want to find in a guy and that would be it. Id want someone whom i can talk with abt anything and even when we dont talk n just slack around, it'll still feel like a we did talk and a very meaningful conversation. Someone id love more than myself...yeah. So if the next one is an indian..so be it...if its chinese, then so be it. As for malay...not that im racist and dislike them altogether..but i know that if I ever do fall in love w a malay, all the converting stuff would never never work for me. Oh God, let it be a christian please. All i know..att he en dof this explanation..is that I would never wanna find one less than what i used to have. Call me selfish n stuff but after going through all that shit...I think at least let me have someone more or at least equal to my ex hahahaha yeah i know..we cant argue w God abt all this...He gives us what we should have in his time and through his desired way. I think slowly, Ive lost the intensity of the love I had for my ex. Which should be good rite? hahaha but sadly, its a pity to forget how to love someone..isnt it? Its a pity to forget how it feels like to be loved and to love someone until ur heart was going so fast ud fear itd either stop altogther..or jump out of ur body. Yeah...it is true..this kind of feeling. :) All i can hope is that if the next one comes, that id be able to love the person in a better way...learn from my mistakes...of course now i have a phobia for future mother-in-laws hahahahahahahahah BUT I dont see all this happening any time soon hahahaha At the end of the day, LOVe is still a mystical and unexplainable feeling. Its only when we feel it that we know. :) I hope to all of you that you find someone who will love you till their hearts are close to popping out. Someone who will see ur flaws but love u soooo much to often find them endearing instead of irritating. :) I wish everyone all the best in finding the love of their lives. They are out there..it just isnt time to meet yet.

LOVE