So happy me sits in wait for the briefing to start when out of nowhere, my ex walks into the room. Then it hit me that "yeah ah! He's supposed to be in this thing too!" he wasnt supposed to be in it coz he was supposed to be sailing but now that its not confirmed, he'll be in it. SHIT! I uttered a short "F*&^" and banged the table once before settling my mood down again hahahaha. yeah yeah yeah i know what ur all saying now. shaking heads n sighing n all. But its okay. We didnt say hi or anything. I didnt even acknowledge him being there ( alot of pple int he room) Didnt go up to him even when we saw each other at the station. (Go figure why he was taking my direction when he always goes the other way) Anyway...I figure God had this all planned to show me what I still feel or watever reaction. Its nott hat God wants to see my reaction coz he knows it. But more of testing me...letting me know how I feel and making me realize that things arent as good as they seem.
Lets have the bitchy me talking. The ME that is bloody evil and says, at least I wore something other than shirts n shorts and looked quite mature n feminine (self praise) that if he sees if, it'll show that Im moving on... According to my fren next to me, she said he was looking quite bad...hmmm wateva! no use looking that way anymore. I out on my best posture and walked confidently off. To the other side of the train...hahaha
went to esplanade. After seeing my ex, I lost the interest of going to Arab street...wonder why...but I guess, I needed the sea to cool myself, calm my heart and stop my mind from thinking of him. Just dont understand why so many things end up in my face that remind me of him hahahaha like yesterday, Iw as shopping and was looking at.....clothes I think..when i saw this bk "20 000 leagues under the sea" under my elbow. (was leaning on it) Out of nowhere sia! hahah and other little things that shudnt be happening but happen hahahaha *shakes head* Thanks God! What a joke! Well, the sun wasnt harsh on me at the esplanade and the wind blew to comfort me. I remember one of the things I told him which im telling all of u who need comfort now...God controls everything around us...even the sun and the wind. The wind was always...to me, a way of God giving me a hug. So when the wind blew, I felt as if God was there and was conforting me and saying, " dont worry ning. wtas meant to be will be. Just believe me and eventually you'll find what i have in store for you" :) Couldnt help drop a tear and smile. Im glad I didnt get a chacne to say hi to him. Coz i was actually wondering what to react if I did come face to face with him. *shrugs* hahahaha
Went down to the street festival today and man do they need better emcees!!!! hahahahahaha The Jap(no insults intended) Festival was cool with cosplay and bands and stuff but the hosts were like shit! "Please come somemore closer to the stage" WAT THE!!! hahahahah yeah yeah bitchy me! But i guess its an occupational hazard for me hahahah after compereing for 3 years, ive come to look at hosts in a different light. hahahaha Quite honestly, the hosts there were making me cry...
Another corner had belly dancing performances and lo and behold, the host (clad in belly dancing costume) had a british eccent and couldnt get the crowd to respond. sigh....I got turned off when she started speaking. Pity to her though that no one was responding. It can be hard sometimes..poor girl.
Along marriot and esprit, there was the wireless 3logy roadshow going on and Daniel Ong and Jamie were there hahaha Now they are better!!! Walked past and watched tham host when lo and behold, one of my seniors in comperes was there! Emmm....wats his name? he came for the farewell....NICHOLAS!!! thats right! yeah! Saw him do abit of hosting as well hahaha been a while since I saw him actually but he's an okay guy. JUst got freaked out when I first got to know him. This guy was.ehmm...quite a flirt at the party. Had a huge alarm going in my head telling me to stay away from him hahaha female instinct...please heed the alarm. One of those things i learn in my past relationship hahaha another thing i learnt is not to get to close to guys...as in...dont give them the wrong signs. hahahah
Throughout this time, I was msging my sis abt the Jap festival and commenting on everything hahahah One of the lead singers of the band looks like my sis's bf hahahahahah
So here i am, home...this day really turned out more than what i thought. I admit my heart is abit unsettled hahah but hell it'll go away soon enough. Not that I dont want to be frens w him yah. Not that I hate him yah. Its that he represents everything I wanted and so us not being together is like taking away a life that i always wanted. Which is why I cant face him...at least not for now. Maybe in a few years when Ive found someone else who's willing to let me torture him hahaha then maybe I'll be over my ex and get on with life. hahahahaha
Had a fren ask me abt doing the play again. Even had one of my officers send our play to MR Dick Lee himself and all this is a huge honor! I never thoguth soemthing that all of us (my best frens in SP) did could turn out to be such a big thing. But...Id love to relive those days! But I cant. Even if I was given a chance to get everyone together againt o do it. Either new people do it, or....I'll let the rest do it together while they get a new Rachel. Im sorry you guys. I would just be too hard for me. I dont think I can conjure the same feelings again you know. :) Much as the whole origianl play is etched in my mind like it was yesterday. :) One of those things I wont forget EVER! hahahahah
K gotta go. Sleepy lah! Wanna go ZZZZZ.....YES I AM A PIG. Was born int eh year of 1. To my fellow comperes, one day. we'll be the ones out there hosting! With pay or whitout pay! Coz we love the mike! Hahahahaha
LOVE
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment