I knew this was coming but even still..it doesnt make things any better. Lets say Im not for it but Im not against it because Im thinking from the person's perspective.
IM to blame too but I know I cant behrate myself to the max because we all make mistakes. To me..its time to master enough guts to make a change to what Ive done.
Alot of us tried to make a change but maybe its time we sat back and watched them in our situation. Doesnt mean we will sit and do nothing...but at least now, they will understand without us nagging or lifting a finger.
Will miss ya because theres 1 les joker in the club. Hahahah
Happy New Year to all! Its especially at the border of the years that time feels like itsw flying tooo fast.
God Bless
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Rifqa Bary
http://www.newsweek.com/id/215100/page/2
So I was surfing the net 1 day and I came across an article about a girl who is running away from her family because she is convinced that her family will kill her (honor killings) for converting from islam to christianity.
Because of the sensitivity of this case, alot of the public were posting their viewpoints about both religions.
So many mixed comments and insults on both religions, people arguing with others, misquotes of both religions etc. In fact the more I read it, the more I irritated I was.
Its atrocious how they can argue on such things when they havnt even got their facts right. Its so easy to misinterpret the Quran and the Bible because alot of hteir ideas are the same and they both stem from the same time period. BUT neither of them says to kill people. If ever it is that says to harm people, it is in defence.
But because of the misinterpretations of both books, we have radical christians and radical muslims. Some radical muslims will believe that it is right to conduct honor killings for certain reasons..or all the other things that Osama has done as well. Radical Christians take certain verses int he wrong context and believe that it is wrong to mingle with other people who are of incorrect lifestyle etc..thus ostracizing them. Or they condemn others who do not believe in Christ the way they do.
Both radicals have given Islam and Christianity a bad rep. And because of this, people who dont understand either religions, take in the most commonly known bad reps and conclude that all christians and muslims behave in those same manners. Which ends up being an endless circle of misunderstandings. So Christians blame Muslims and muslims dislike christians etc...
Dont forget that Jesus in Christianity is also 1 of the prophets in the Quran. There has to be a reason why He is valued in both books despite the religion. And that reason would most probably be because of His knowledge, beliefs and practices that go with the Quran's beliefs. So if both religions value what Jesus has to say, then why are we still having misunderstandings with each other's religion when they both take about peace and love?
Dont let the misleadings of 1 or a grp of christians/muslims...spoil the entire population of believers. Dont forget there are alot more believers in the world than that group.
And as for Rifqa's case, Im more inclined to believe that her parents will not harm her but some of her neighbouring muslim friends who belong to the same mosque might harm her no matter how the parents might want to protect her still.
God Bless
So I was surfing the net 1 day and I came across an article about a girl who is running away from her family because she is convinced that her family will kill her (honor killings) for converting from islam to christianity.
Because of the sensitivity of this case, alot of the public were posting their viewpoints about both religions.
So many mixed comments and insults on both religions, people arguing with others, misquotes of both religions etc. In fact the more I read it, the more I irritated I was.
Its atrocious how they can argue on such things when they havnt even got their facts right. Its so easy to misinterpret the Quran and the Bible because alot of hteir ideas are the same and they both stem from the same time period. BUT neither of them says to kill people. If ever it is that says to harm people, it is in defence.
But because of the misinterpretations of both books, we have radical christians and radical muslims. Some radical muslims will believe that it is right to conduct honor killings for certain reasons..or all the other things that Osama has done as well. Radical Christians take certain verses int he wrong context and believe that it is wrong to mingle with other people who are of incorrect lifestyle etc..thus ostracizing them. Or they condemn others who do not believe in Christ the way they do.
Both radicals have given Islam and Christianity a bad rep. And because of this, people who dont understand either religions, take in the most commonly known bad reps and conclude that all christians and muslims behave in those same manners. Which ends up being an endless circle of misunderstandings. So Christians blame Muslims and muslims dislike christians etc...
Dont forget that Jesus in Christianity is also 1 of the prophets in the Quran. There has to be a reason why He is valued in both books despite the religion. And that reason would most probably be because of His knowledge, beliefs and practices that go with the Quran's beliefs. So if both religions value what Jesus has to say, then why are we still having misunderstandings with each other's religion when they both take about peace and love?
Dont let the misleadings of 1 or a grp of christians/muslims...spoil the entire population of believers. Dont forget there are alot more believers in the world than that group.
And as for Rifqa's case, Im more inclined to believe that her parents will not harm her but some of her neighbouring muslim friends who belong to the same mosque might harm her no matter how the parents might want to protect her still.
God Bless
Friday, December 25, 2009
Merry Christmas everyone! Happy Birthday Jesus!
To those I love:
Merry Christmas! You know how busy people are. I am one of those. And Im not one who is able to keep track of friends easily. But I always treat anyone I know as a friend and I value every friendship I start.
Its only on special days that we (because we are humans) remember to think of every single person we know.
Whatever it is...Im sorry if I havnt been the best person. And I truly appreciate it when you take the time to understand and tolerate. I am blessed to know you because my life is pathed by the people I meet who shape my mindset. You are precious. And in case you didnt know..you are precious in God's sight.
To Jesus:
You are the most important person in this world and in history. I appreciate you for your birth, your teachings and your death. I know it isnt jus Christmas that I should be appreciative of all you've done and I do want to get to know you more and more.
You know my heart and you know that without your righteousness in me, Id be full of imperfections and sorrows, worries and unhappiness. Without you, Id have gone in other directions that I wouldnt be who I am now. And you have given me the heart I have now. To do whatever I am doing now. I give glory to you on this day. Its cause of you that Christmas is so extra special to me.
Thank you Jesus for everything, for those I know and love, for your righteousness and wisdom and love.
No matter what life is for me, I thank you for all of it. I thank you for closing n opening doors for me.
You are my security in life that I will never be brought low to the depths of despair. I will mentally, physically, emotionally stable because of you with me everywhere.
Love you Jesus because you first love me. :)
Please look after all those I know and care for. Coz i know you love them too and I pray for them to know you and love you.
Love
Ning
God Bless
Merry Christmas! You know how busy people are. I am one of those. And Im not one who is able to keep track of friends easily. But I always treat anyone I know as a friend and I value every friendship I start.
Its only on special days that we (because we are humans) remember to think of every single person we know.
Whatever it is...Im sorry if I havnt been the best person. And I truly appreciate it when you take the time to understand and tolerate. I am blessed to know you because my life is pathed by the people I meet who shape my mindset. You are precious. And in case you didnt know..you are precious in God's sight.
To Jesus:
You are the most important person in this world and in history. I appreciate you for your birth, your teachings and your death. I know it isnt jus Christmas that I should be appreciative of all you've done and I do want to get to know you more and more.
You know my heart and you know that without your righteousness in me, Id be full of imperfections and sorrows, worries and unhappiness. Without you, Id have gone in other directions that I wouldnt be who I am now. And you have given me the heart I have now. To do whatever I am doing now. I give glory to you on this day. Its cause of you that Christmas is so extra special to me.
Thank you Jesus for everything, for those I know and love, for your righteousness and wisdom and love.
No matter what life is for me, I thank you for all of it. I thank you for closing n opening doors for me.
You are my security in life that I will never be brought low to the depths of despair. I will mentally, physically, emotionally stable because of you with me everywhere.
Love you Jesus because you first love me. :)
Please look after all those I know and care for. Coz i know you love them too and I pray for them to know you and love you.
Love
Ning
God Bless
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Christmas is near!
I nknow I havnt finshed logging down the past few days in HK but just waned to take this time to wish all a Merry Christmas!
Its always a special time for me and I hope that for all of you, that you would have family and friends to celebrate with. Even if you dont have relatives around you, dont forget your friends. The best of friends are family as well.
You dont have to shower each other w gifts. Most importantly, let htem know that you love them and treasure them.
I waas thinking abt Jesus for the past few days and how Christmas really marks His life. And how Christmas should really be a day to send our greatest love and respect and worship to Him. But then smoething in me said that it shouldnt just be Christmas that we do this for Him. We should be doig this all year round! Christmas should be every day! And its only then that I understood why that phrase was said.
But aside from this...from a non-christian perspective...we should be treating everyone we love the same way. We dont shower those we love with gifts only on their birthdays, New Years, Christmas etc only. We should be treating them w love, respect and etc every day we are with them.
Something for all of us to think about.
Heres wishing u all a merry christmas! I love all of you and miss all of you! And I pray God keeps His angels on watch, by your side.
God Bless
Its always a special time for me and I hope that for all of you, that you would have family and friends to celebrate with. Even if you dont have relatives around you, dont forget your friends. The best of friends are family as well.
You dont have to shower each other w gifts. Most importantly, let htem know that you love them and treasure them.
I waas thinking abt Jesus for the past few days and how Christmas really marks His life. And how Christmas should really be a day to send our greatest love and respect and worship to Him. But then smoething in me said that it shouldnt just be Christmas that we do this for Him. We should be doig this all year round! Christmas should be every day! And its only then that I understood why that phrase was said.
But aside from this...from a non-christian perspective...we should be treating everyone we love the same way. We dont shower those we love with gifts only on their birthdays, New Years, Christmas etc only. We should be treating them w love, respect and etc every day we are with them.
Something for all of us to think about.
Heres wishing u all a merry christmas! I love all of you and miss all of you! And I pray God keeps His angels on watch, by your side.
God Bless
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Hong Kong! day 1&2
Day1:
We got to HK around 1.30pm. My cousins and our niece and nephew went to fetch us. We dropped our stuff at the house (which is uber dope!!) and went off to see meet the others. Dropped by the mrt station and had some snacks. Eg: fried octupus, dried chewy fishballs, fried Yong Tau Foo etc Delicious! :)
Stopped by at the local 7-eleven and found a durian flavoured Hi-Chew!!! Hahahaha Not bad lah. Not very durian-y.
Had a huge-ass dinner at a huge-ass restaurant with huge-ass aquariams full of huge-ass seafood! Seriously ate till we could barely walk. Haiz thing about chinese culture...can not waste food...another thing about chinese culture.....always order more than we can eat.....mostly to make things look nice.
got a headache before the night was done. Ate panadol when I got back to the house but the pills only made it worse. Almost threw up all the good food. Note to self: Trick is not to eat so much when you know you're going for a very big dinner. No matter what...resist all temptation to much/snack 4 hours before the meal.
Slept early.
Day2: Woke up had breakfast at one of those hong kong cafes. The real hong kong cafe breads is nto as thick but it does have condense milk and butter/peanut butter. Their luncheon meat and egg sandwich is made of steamed bread. :) I like.
BTW..I saw alot of pretty dogs today, :)
We then had lunch at some Maritime clubhouse. Ate Dimsum. :)
after that we went to see Gu Ma's grave. The cemetary is huge and its a christian cemetary. The statues are quite interesting and its atop a hill so the whole tip of the hill is a cemetary. Like a terrace...
Then we went to the mountaintop. The temp was 10-15 DegC. Yet the skies were blue and the clouds were pure white with a tinge of orange sun. Very nice! (in HK accent)
Then bought myself 2 shirts! :) 1 red shirt w Mao Zhe Dong on it and another white shirt w I love HK on it.
Had dinner at a hotpot place. Beef was good, pork liver was good. Stomach was have civil war.
Now Im back at the house. dogs and niece running over the place. hahaha
K gonna shower now. Pics will be out when Im done w HK. Till then...
God Bless
We got to HK around 1.30pm. My cousins and our niece and nephew went to fetch us. We dropped our stuff at the house (which is uber dope!!) and went off to see meet the others. Dropped by the mrt station and had some snacks. Eg: fried octupus, dried chewy fishballs, fried Yong Tau Foo etc Delicious! :)
Stopped by at the local 7-eleven and found a durian flavoured Hi-Chew!!! Hahahaha Not bad lah. Not very durian-y.
Had a huge-ass dinner at a huge-ass restaurant with huge-ass aquariams full of huge-ass seafood! Seriously ate till we could barely walk. Haiz thing about chinese culture...can not waste food...another thing about chinese culture.....always order more than we can eat.....mostly to make things look nice.
got a headache before the night was done. Ate panadol when I got back to the house but the pills only made it worse. Almost threw up all the good food. Note to self: Trick is not to eat so much when you know you're going for a very big dinner. No matter what...resist all temptation to much/snack 4 hours before the meal.
Slept early.
Day2: Woke up had breakfast at one of those hong kong cafes. The real hong kong cafe breads is nto as thick but it does have condense milk and butter/peanut butter. Their luncheon meat and egg sandwich is made of steamed bread. :) I like.
BTW..I saw alot of pretty dogs today, :)
We then had lunch at some Maritime clubhouse. Ate Dimsum. :)
after that we went to see Gu Ma's grave. The cemetary is huge and its a christian cemetary. The statues are quite interesting and its atop a hill so the whole tip of the hill is a cemetary. Like a terrace...
Then we went to the mountaintop. The temp was 10-15 DegC. Yet the skies were blue and the clouds were pure white with a tinge of orange sun. Very nice! (in HK accent)
Then bought myself 2 shirts! :) 1 red shirt w Mao Zhe Dong on it and another white shirt w I love HK on it.
Had dinner at a hotpot place. Beef was good, pork liver was good. Stomach was have civil war.
Now Im back at the house. dogs and niece running over the place. hahaha
K gonna shower now. Pics will be out when Im done w HK. Till then...
God Bless
Monday, December 14, 2009
Back to good old Diaries
Ive gone back to hardcopies! Yes I will keep blogging but as we all know you cant really say all that you want to say on blogs. It,s diaries that make the most sense. Doesnt mean Id stop blogging..coz its good to update others...
Anyway...am just counting down till hong kong trip. Cant wait! Sorta feel bad that I wont be spending christmas w students and family and stuff but i do need break...
Not much to say now...talk next time!
God Bless!
Anyway...am just counting down till hong kong trip. Cant wait! Sorta feel bad that I wont be spending christmas w students and family and stuff but i do need break...
Not much to say now...talk next time!
God Bless!
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
Just stating viewpoints...
Random thoughts:
- I now know what it feels like to be a judge...or a prosecutor. Thats why I didnt want to be a lawyer.
- Believing hurts.
- Loving hurts too. Especially loving too much.
- The easier 1 loves....the easier it is to be upset. The moment one cares abt something toooo much..the easier it is to be upset when something happens
- But drawing hte line is not easy yet it is crucial for survival. at least emotional survival
- Nobody really knows what you're doing or what you;ve done. So there's no point expecting everyone to fully understand you but it doesnt mean you dont try to make them understand
- Nobody can be superwoman/superman..only God can.
- Not everybody thinks, feels and acts like you
- Never cloud your judgement with an overflow of feelings. It sometimes steers you away from the light
- It takes 2 hands to clap. If you wanna clap on your own, by all means please do but dont complain
- You wont like everything that happens in life..but if you take it within your stride, you;re sure to come out of it a better person
Im past feeling like Ive upset the whole world. Not coz I dont care..but if I cared too much, it affects everythingelse that I care for. So while i wish I cud explain tot eh whole world...a whole load of explanations will only work if people actually accepted it. If not...then all the more "no point"
K lah back to work
- I now know what it feels like to be a judge...or a prosecutor. Thats why I didnt want to be a lawyer.
- Believing hurts.
- Loving hurts too. Especially loving too much.
- The easier 1 loves....the easier it is to be upset. The moment one cares abt something toooo much..the easier it is to be upset when something happens
- But drawing hte line is not easy yet it is crucial for survival. at least emotional survival
- Nobody really knows what you're doing or what you;ve done. So there's no point expecting everyone to fully understand you but it doesnt mean you dont try to make them understand
- Nobody can be superwoman/superman..only God can.
- Not everybody thinks, feels and acts like you
- Never cloud your judgement with an overflow of feelings. It sometimes steers you away from the light
- It takes 2 hands to clap. If you wanna clap on your own, by all means please do but dont complain
- You wont like everything that happens in life..but if you take it within your stride, you;re sure to come out of it a better person
Im past feeling like Ive upset the whole world. Not coz I dont care..but if I cared too much, it affects everythingelse that I care for. So while i wish I cud explain tot eh whole world...a whole load of explanations will only work if people actually accepted it. If not...then all the more "no point"
K lah back to work
Monday, November 30, 2009
Monday again.
Joined ISC at rollerblading...I know that such a diverse club really needs to have more chances to bond and bond we did.
Poor chetan for falling on everything he tried on. even tripping while walking. Geez dude! And Marchia and Yadana for taking on rollerblading and still carrying on despite being sooo tired...
While we only had 8 pple, it was still fun. nice group to just bond in. Had photos taken etc...waited up for the juniors. etc.
Had problems w the slopes so naru-zhuang was there to be my brakes. and kelvin for letting me hold on while he cycled..so I can just blade along. Heheh
My butt hurts now (not as painful as chetan's or Yadana's) and my legs really ache. Yah Ning never exercise much..I know! hahaha
Anyway morning was okay until I stepped into comperes clubhouse and realized just how much rubbish is around the room. There were threads, strips of clothe (usuable and unusuable) all over hte place. The carpet had all sorts of thread stuck to it. The rubbish bin was full (and it has never been empty) and there was a tin of biscuits in the clubhouse which I specifically said not to bring in!
Once again, Im pissed...but I'm trying not to blow my top coz youth being what they are now...most prob cant take pressure. Unfortunately...I keep thinking back abt why its so different last time and now...
And I hate myself evn more for not keeping things in place...
Haiz.....times are changing. Maybe if I wasnt an alumni, Id have given up on the club a long time ago man. I know Alia is still stuck on this and thats great. But I also believe 1 can only take sooo much of changes to feel exasperated...
Oh well..back to work...no point maybe I'll just wait for them to wake up and realize how much they've missed.
God Bless
Poor chetan for falling on everything he tried on. even tripping while walking. Geez dude! And Marchia and Yadana for taking on rollerblading and still carrying on despite being sooo tired...
While we only had 8 pple, it was still fun. nice group to just bond in. Had photos taken etc...waited up for the juniors. etc.
Had problems w the slopes so naru-zhuang was there to be my brakes. and kelvin for letting me hold on while he cycled..so I can just blade along. Heheh
My butt hurts now (not as painful as chetan's or Yadana's) and my legs really ache. Yah Ning never exercise much..I know! hahaha
Anyway morning was okay until I stepped into comperes clubhouse and realized just how much rubbish is around the room. There were threads, strips of clothe (usuable and unusuable) all over hte place. The carpet had all sorts of thread stuck to it. The rubbish bin was full (and it has never been empty) and there was a tin of biscuits in the clubhouse which I specifically said not to bring in!
Once again, Im pissed...but I'm trying not to blow my top coz youth being what they are now...most prob cant take pressure. Unfortunately...I keep thinking back abt why its so different last time and now...
And I hate myself evn more for not keeping things in place...
Haiz.....times are changing. Maybe if I wasnt an alumni, Id have given up on the club a long time ago man. I know Alia is still stuck on this and thats great. But I also believe 1 can only take sooo much of changes to feel exasperated...
Oh well..back to work...no point maybe I'll just wait for them to wake up and realize how much they've missed.
God Bless
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Well deserved Friday...
Met ISC for 2012, had dinner w them and alumni and met bros for walla walla.
To be honest, 2012 is a cool movie if you only look at the effects. But the meaning behind it is infectious as well. saying that the world will end...is very very scary. imagine everyone in t he world running for cover. Of course all hollywood movie shows the silver lining of the dark clouds so not everybody dies but the magnitude of pple who die!
And seeing famous national strutures crumbling down etc..is a very scary scene...
I cant say more coz some of you havnt watched it. I didnt really cry for this movie. Tear? Yes but no crying..no streams. Me being a christian, I know that when its the end of the world, we dont have people surviving but if I was in this situation....Id hope that everyone I knew would be alive. Id hope that I would see the day that men fight and claw each other to survive.
Got out of the cinema and told the bunch of ISC peeps, "If this happens, we better all be on the same ship."
Had alumni come over. My goal was to push the juniors and alumni together...let them mix abit. And it sorta worked. Slowly I guess...It helps to know that Alvin and Juwy and Liang etc do want to know the juniors.
Then the day ended off well with ian, stephen, YQ, aaron and I at walla walla. EIC was playing and this is one of the bands that we all agree on. of course I have no music tech knowledge unlike my bros but I do enjoy live music. We all had fun. Funny how simple music like that cud make us all "head bang" to it. EIC is fantastically good and Kudos to the replacement drummer for that day. As Ian and stephen marvelled, the guy smoked his way through the entire 3 sets. And if Ian adn stephen can be impressed, Im sure that good enough credits tot he drummer. After all, these 2 bros of mine are not excellent at their craft but they know skill when they see it.
Like I said, this week hasnt been fantstic...but I know God is looking after me and will get me through. I need His wisdom to handle everything that is pouring in.
I also thank Him for putting in my life, every single person I know. the heartbreakers, the tear jerkers, the fun lovers...every single one..because without any of them my life would be different.
Special thanks to my bros who went walla walla. Because being with them is always refreshing and it always makes me feel like Im home, taking me away from the rest of my life.
Sad things to say for a christian. I know all this is me speaking out of my own limitations..and wallowing in self pity I guess..without considering my God who ever wants to help me. So this is truly the lst time I will mention abt this. Cause I do want to make a conscious effort to look to God for this. I know He will..its whether I will let Him. And so I go. :)
I came out of hte cinema yesterday, telling God that if the world were to end, I wanted all whom I know, to be saved.
God Bless
To be honest, 2012 is a cool movie if you only look at the effects. But the meaning behind it is infectious as well. saying that the world will end...is very very scary. imagine everyone in t he world running for cover. Of course all hollywood movie shows the silver lining of the dark clouds so not everybody dies but the magnitude of pple who die!
And seeing famous national strutures crumbling down etc..is a very scary scene...
I cant say more coz some of you havnt watched it. I didnt really cry for this movie. Tear? Yes but no crying..no streams. Me being a christian, I know that when its the end of the world, we dont have people surviving but if I was in this situation....Id hope that everyone I knew would be alive. Id hope that I would see the day that men fight and claw each other to survive.
Got out of the cinema and told the bunch of ISC peeps, "If this happens, we better all be on the same ship."
Had alumni come over. My goal was to push the juniors and alumni together...let them mix abit. And it sorta worked. Slowly I guess...It helps to know that Alvin and Juwy and Liang etc do want to know the juniors.
Then the day ended off well with ian, stephen, YQ, aaron and I at walla walla. EIC was playing and this is one of the bands that we all agree on. of course I have no music tech knowledge unlike my bros but I do enjoy live music. We all had fun. Funny how simple music like that cud make us all "head bang" to it. EIC is fantastically good and Kudos to the replacement drummer for that day. As Ian and stephen marvelled, the guy smoked his way through the entire 3 sets. And if Ian adn stephen can be impressed, Im sure that good enough credits tot he drummer. After all, these 2 bros of mine are not excellent at their craft but they know skill when they see it.
Like I said, this week hasnt been fantstic...but I know God is looking after me and will get me through. I need His wisdom to handle everything that is pouring in.
I also thank Him for putting in my life, every single person I know. the heartbreakers, the tear jerkers, the fun lovers...every single one..because without any of them my life would be different.
Special thanks to my bros who went walla walla. Because being with them is always refreshing and it always makes me feel like Im home, taking me away from the rest of my life.
Sad things to say for a christian. I know all this is me speaking out of my own limitations..and wallowing in self pity I guess..without considering my God who ever wants to help me. So this is truly the lst time I will mention abt this. Cause I do want to make a conscious effort to look to God for this. I know He will..its whether I will let Him. And so I go. :)
I came out of hte cinema yesterday, telling God that if the world were to end, I wanted all whom I know, to be saved.
God Bless
Friday, November 27, 2009
Tired...very tired....SP STar is over!
this week has been an excruciating PITA.nBefore u read anything else...I know Im perpetually depressed but I dont need counselling. I just need to vent.
I feel like shit now for various reasons. 1 of which is SP Star. The event went quite okay..but by my expectations...not well enough.
I dont know how to explain. or rather that I do know but...Ive killed too many spirits that Ive lost mine...
Since tuesday, my mood has been in the dumps. I sorta feel abit like when I broke up w someone and I get into occassional tearing spells. Just today, during rehearsal..I decided that I really cudnt take it..I excused myself abruptly and went off tot he toilet...The moment I let myself think abt it..Id tear..which is such a loser thing because Im not crying for a person...Im crying for a club.
Im lost at what to do...Im really at my wits end and Im ready to throw in the towel....Im actually contemplating on giving up Comperes...Nobody realizes that while students have these occassional motivations to quit a club...so does an officer. And I believe that Id rather quit looking after this club...then see it suffer. I mean who knows, it could work a whole lot better without me! It wouldnt have to be run the way it was run. They can do what they want...and if thye sink..it wouldnt be my problem....but Id still tear..
Im not saying this because I know at least 1 of my students reads this...but because the spirit of the club is already as such and I cant bear to see it spiralling down...
I dont want it to end on my watch but...I dont want to see it fall at all. if It has to fall, Id rather not be in it and part of it....
As it is..everything I have done for and in the club...was for the club's good. I think I didnt do it in the right way though and the right time...
As for SP Star, it did okay. The reviews was okay. I wasnt tooo happy abt it coz I know what was went wrong. I know I might be abit to harsh to my students, demanding that we dont just do it "okay" but we do it well and to the best we can...and thats why I wasnt smiling..nor was I looking at anyone's faces as I left...
After what happened on tuesday, I was not emotionally ready for this event. We had slipshot rehearsals, rehearsals that not all 3 of us were concentrating on. Thats why I had to walk out...coz I cudnt take the nonsense anymore.
Things we cud have done better....lucky draw, announcing of judges, front entry item...
I dont know....Im hoping that I cud take a break from all this since comperes isnt doing much training after this.
God Bless
I feel like shit now for various reasons. 1 of which is SP Star. The event went quite okay..but by my expectations...not well enough.
I dont know how to explain. or rather that I do know but...Ive killed too many spirits that Ive lost mine...
Since tuesday, my mood has been in the dumps. I sorta feel abit like when I broke up w someone and I get into occassional tearing spells. Just today, during rehearsal..I decided that I really cudnt take it..I excused myself abruptly and went off tot he toilet...The moment I let myself think abt it..Id tear..which is such a loser thing because Im not crying for a person...Im crying for a club.
Im lost at what to do...Im really at my wits end and Im ready to throw in the towel....Im actually contemplating on giving up Comperes...Nobody realizes that while students have these occassional motivations to quit a club...so does an officer. And I believe that Id rather quit looking after this club...then see it suffer. I mean who knows, it could work a whole lot better without me! It wouldnt have to be run the way it was run. They can do what they want...and if thye sink..it wouldnt be my problem....but Id still tear..
Im not saying this because I know at least 1 of my students reads this...but because the spirit of the club is already as such and I cant bear to see it spiralling down...
I dont want it to end on my watch but...I dont want to see it fall at all. if It has to fall, Id rather not be in it and part of it....
As it is..everything I have done for and in the club...was for the club's good. I think I didnt do it in the right way though and the right time...
As for SP Star, it did okay. The reviews was okay. I wasnt tooo happy abt it coz I know what was went wrong. I know I might be abit to harsh to my students, demanding that we dont just do it "okay" but we do it well and to the best we can...and thats why I wasnt smiling..nor was I looking at anyone's faces as I left...
After what happened on tuesday, I was not emotionally ready for this event. We had slipshot rehearsals, rehearsals that not all 3 of us were concentrating on. Thats why I had to walk out...coz I cudnt take the nonsense anymore.
Things we cud have done better....lucky draw, announcing of judges, front entry item...
I dont know....Im hoping that I cud take a break from all this since comperes isnt doing much training after this.
God Bless
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Fav song now
What I've Done lyrics
In this farewell
There’s no blood
There’s no Alibi
‘Cause I’ve Drawn Regret
From the truth
Of a Thousand Lies
[Pre-Chorus]
So let Mercy Come
And Wash Away
[Chorus]
what i`ve Done
I've faced myself
To Cross out what I’ve Become
Erase Myself
And let Go of What I’ve done
Put to rest
What you Thought of Me
While I clean this Slate
With the Hands of Uncertainty
[Pre-Chorus]
[Chorus]
For What I’ve Done
I start again
And whatever pain may come
Today this ends
I’m Forgiving What I’ve Done
[Chorus]
What I’ve Done
Forgiving What I’ve Done
In this farewell
There’s no blood
There’s no Alibi
‘Cause I’ve Drawn Regret
From the truth
Of a Thousand Lies
[Pre-Chorus]
So let Mercy Come
And Wash Away
[Chorus]
what i`ve Done
I've faced myself
To Cross out what I’ve Become
Erase Myself
And let Go of What I’ve done
Put to rest
What you Thought of Me
While I clean this Slate
With the Hands of Uncertainty
[Pre-Chorus]
[Chorus]
For What I’ve Done
I start again
And whatever pain may come
Today this ends
I’m Forgiving What I’ve Done
[Chorus]
What I’ve Done
Forgiving What I’ve Done
Random rambles
I can bark till the moon comes home,
I'll swim to ends deep and not know that Im gone
Maybe things can be misled, bent, knitted into tiny bits of shadows
Silken slicks of darkness placed under happy thoughts
polished to a T and cut down to an O
Meshed together to form a NO
Simmering oil on honey moonshine
popping pills to bring happy thoughts to a stop
backdraft & wind speed and horse shoes and lady fingers...
(end)
So yesterday was an ubber bad day. In a fell swoop I made 8 pple cry...
Im not proud of this. I had to do what I knew had to be done....
But its not over yet coz I fear its only the start of worse things...
In fact after 1 night...Ive become numb and expressionless.
Not befitting of a mature christian working class woman but I do wallow in my sorrow abit.
Call it denial then. Call it ignorance..Call it shunning..call it anythign u want but dont call it pleasure...
God Bless
I'll swim to ends deep and not know that Im gone
Maybe things can be misled, bent, knitted into tiny bits of shadows
Silken slicks of darkness placed under happy thoughts
polished to a T and cut down to an O
Meshed together to form a NO
Simmering oil on honey moonshine
popping pills to bring happy thoughts to a stop
backdraft & wind speed and horse shoes and lady fingers...
(end)
So yesterday was an ubber bad day. In a fell swoop I made 8 pple cry...
Im not proud of this. I had to do what I knew had to be done....
But its not over yet coz I fear its only the start of worse things...
In fact after 1 night...Ive become numb and expressionless.
Not befitting of a mature christian working class woman but I do wallow in my sorrow abit.
Call it denial then. Call it ignorance..Call it shunning..call it anythign u want but dont call it pleasure...
God Bless
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
I dont wail, I clinch my fist, grit my teeth, close my eyes and let my tears flow
In total, 5 of us cried today...with sheer helplessness and frustration.
Throughout all this, I felt the most failure and pain...Not because of what others did..but what I feel I have caused...
I know Im not good at this..and everytime I go home and think abt how I didnt put God into myy thoughts as I deal these situations..I feel like I fell short of hte mark. Im not upset coz I didnt hink of God, Im upset coz if I had God in my thoughts, Id have made use of His blessings to me..to make right this situation.
After all, with Him I can do more stuff.
As Cal says, (just called her) If she were in my situation..shed pound them herself. And that the task that God gives me to handle...will never be to heavy for me. Point is I dont think things that way..thats why I give up easily.
Im starting to think that youth these days take soo many things for granted.. I dont see how bright the future of the youths will be...its sad...
Anyway..I dont need comforting...I just wished the people who need to hear this...get the msg and change..coz I think im gonna be forced to make changes too...
God Bless
Throughout all this, I felt the most failure and pain...Not because of what others did..but what I feel I have caused...
I know Im not good at this..and everytime I go home and think abt how I didnt put God into myy thoughts as I deal these situations..I feel like I fell short of hte mark. Im not upset coz I didnt hink of God, Im upset coz if I had God in my thoughts, Id have made use of His blessings to me..to make right this situation.
After all, with Him I can do more stuff.
As Cal says, (just called her) If she were in my situation..shed pound them herself. And that the task that God gives me to handle...will never be to heavy for me. Point is I dont think things that way..thats why I give up easily.
Im starting to think that youth these days take soo many things for granted.. I dont see how bright the future of the youths will be...its sad...
Anyway..I dont need comforting...I just wished the people who need to hear this...get the msg and change..coz I think im gonna be forced to make changes too...
God Bless
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Officially pissed
This is generalizing but Im pissed with how things are going in my clubs that I dont know what to do but sorta wished I wasnt there to see its destruction.
To me its like having a pet but not being ready to take care of it...such committement is horrendous..
I regret some of my actions because if I had done somethings...I wudnt be having this problem....
Maybe next time its a good idea to go small and steady then big and unruly.
Dont you know how precious what you have is? If you let it go...you wont have a chance to get it back anymore.
Id gladly do all that you don't want because I know how much it means to me. But I dont know how much it means to you. I dont know how much everything means to you. Its gonna be sad if and when u realize how much you;ve missed. Like me, you will wish u could turn back time...
To me its like having a pet but not being ready to take care of it...such committement is horrendous..
I regret some of my actions because if I had done somethings...I wudnt be having this problem....
Maybe next time its a good idea to go small and steady then big and unruly.
Dont you know how precious what you have is? If you let it go...you wont have a chance to get it back anymore.
Id gladly do all that you don't want because I know how much it means to me. But I dont know how much it means to you. I dont know how much everything means to you. Its gonna be sad if and when u realize how much you;ve missed. Like me, you will wish u could turn back time...
Long evening...
For the 1st time in ISC history (since Ive been there) We had our 1st very serious talk. Maybe others beg to differ but this is the maddest I have been since my work w ISC....I was soo upset I was ready to go into eh meeting shouting. I was even ready to storm out of hte clubhouse...
Escapade is over and Im glad. Not because it was good or bad...but because it was occupying my mind so much. Im more glad that this problem only surfaced after Escapade. Yes it started long time ago and boiled up to 100'C only recently...but still...think God has a timing.
Had I done anything drastic earlier..the source of the problem wouldnt have reconciled in its own time..
By hte end of yesterday, I was tired...from Escapade...from worrying and from solving.
I said my share and I made my point clear....When anyone in the club would take things personally....I am the only one who's been around longer than any of them to actually take things personally. If anyone were to take this whole mess personally...its me.
Anyone who manages to bring ISC down....is tearing down everything any of its past presidents and members have been working for! What has taken soooo hard to build...is now being torn down because of a small issue.
Anyway by the end of the day, the problem was resolved. At least I hope so. I warned them abt the next batch and I stated the challenges ahead. The Yr3s and Yr2s talked certain things out etc
Hope this thing doesnt happen again...
I pray God's wisdom will be on me to advise them appropriately.
Escapade is over and Im glad. Not because it was good or bad...but because it was occupying my mind so much. Im more glad that this problem only surfaced after Escapade. Yes it started long time ago and boiled up to 100'C only recently...but still...think God has a timing.
Had I done anything drastic earlier..the source of the problem wouldnt have reconciled in its own time..
By hte end of yesterday, I was tired...from Escapade...from worrying and from solving.
I said my share and I made my point clear....When anyone in the club would take things personally....I am the only one who's been around longer than any of them to actually take things personally. If anyone were to take this whole mess personally...its me.
Anyone who manages to bring ISC down....is tearing down everything any of its past presidents and members have been working for! What has taken soooo hard to build...is now being torn down because of a small issue.
Anyway by the end of the day, the problem was resolved. At least I hope so. I warned them abt the next batch and I stated the challenges ahead. The Yr3s and Yr2s talked certain things out etc
Hope this thing doesnt happen again...
I pray God's wisdom will be on me to advise them appropriately.
Monday, November 16, 2009
My own compereing reflections...
As they say..if you want people to do stuff, you gotta do the same things yourself.
So here I am reflecting on my Escapade hosting stint.
14 Nov
I'll be honest and say I was scared!!! I have never done an event for close to a year! everytime I seea good compere, I sorta think in my head," what would I have done if I had hte same situation" & "Why didnt I think of that?!?" And I get soo impressed with some comperes that I feel totally shitty abt myself. That's why I was sooooo scared when I saw Justin M host!!! He's bloody good!!!
He's fast thinking....Im slow...
So Sat, Justin came in with his bag of jokes and he was good! he made everybody laugh!!! He's effectively multilingual to the point of Hokkien, English, Chinese, Cantonese, Malay....I mean..SHIT!!!
So anyway..he got the crowd sooo high that I was cracking my brain on how to carry it over....
I didnt bother with long talks..and just kept introduing the next item because I didnt wanna bring the mood down w words. Let the performances keep it up.
Besides...despite the fact that we were running out of time, I actually felt that time was on my side. gave me an excuse to cut my words off. I just put in as high energied as I could, passed ont he baton around until the last bit.
The audience was excellent and I was so humbled by it. I was energized by the audience.
They looked like they listened to me...when I asked questions, they answered. They followed instructions etc.
Im glad I included the point abt challenging yourself to stay awake. So they we put them in the frame of mind to stay awake through the thing. That way when I see them the next day, I'd have a linkage there and hence have the excuse to make more noise in the morning. Im also glad I drew power from the participant. Im glad I could move on & off stage
Bad Points:
- I wish I had the power of impromtu ness like Justin
- Wish I had my makeup on coz I bet i looked horrible
- no preparation for script except the siren announcement
- lack of multilingistic skills limits my range and surprise power.
Thankfully Justin completed his games esgment before he went off coz I had no games prepared. If i had tot ake over the games..Id be SCREWED!!! With my lack of preparation...theres no way I cud have saved myself from silence.
15 nov morning
- Too tired...didnt wanna drink coffee
- Muttering words...
- Probably looked very bored because I was soo tired..
- Had technical problems because we didnt check stuff out w the organisor.
- lastly...I spoke too much. I spoke over my emcee...
- my script was lastminute hence on rough paper..
All silly problems that I wished we could have settled before going onstage. I know I pretty much committed alot of emceeing sins..same ones my students committed.
But I at least did things without looking at my script much and I put in my entire energy in it. With the reaction and response of the crowd, I didnt force them overboard on replying to me..and I walked around the crowds to get closer to the audience instead. Im glad I did that...
So all in all. Im okay wm my performance. Wished I could have done thigns better but that will have to be for another event.
Ning
So here I am reflecting on my Escapade hosting stint.
14 Nov
I'll be honest and say I was scared!!! I have never done an event for close to a year! everytime I seea good compere, I sorta think in my head," what would I have done if I had hte same situation" & "Why didnt I think of that?!?" And I get soo impressed with some comperes that I feel totally shitty abt myself. That's why I was sooooo scared when I saw Justin M host!!! He's bloody good!!!
He's fast thinking....Im slow...
So Sat, Justin came in with his bag of jokes and he was good! he made everybody laugh!!! He's effectively multilingual to the point of Hokkien, English, Chinese, Cantonese, Malay....I mean..SHIT!!!
So anyway..he got the crowd sooo high that I was cracking my brain on how to carry it over....
I didnt bother with long talks..and just kept introduing the next item because I didnt wanna bring the mood down w words. Let the performances keep it up.
Besides...despite the fact that we were running out of time, I actually felt that time was on my side. gave me an excuse to cut my words off. I just put in as high energied as I could, passed ont he baton around until the last bit.
The audience was excellent and I was so humbled by it. I was energized by the audience.
They looked like they listened to me...when I asked questions, they answered. They followed instructions etc.
Im glad I included the point abt challenging yourself to stay awake. So they we put them in the frame of mind to stay awake through the thing. That way when I see them the next day, I'd have a linkage there and hence have the excuse to make more noise in the morning. Im also glad I drew power from the participant. Im glad I could move on & off stage
Bad Points:
- I wish I had the power of impromtu ness like Justin
- Wish I had my makeup on coz I bet i looked horrible
- no preparation for script except the siren announcement
- lack of multilingistic skills limits my range and surprise power.
Thankfully Justin completed his games esgment before he went off coz I had no games prepared. If i had tot ake over the games..Id be SCREWED!!! With my lack of preparation...theres no way I cud have saved myself from silence.
15 nov morning
- Too tired...didnt wanna drink coffee
- Muttering words...
- Probably looked very bored because I was soo tired..
- Had technical problems because we didnt check stuff out w the organisor.
- lastly...I spoke too much. I spoke over my emcee...
- my script was lastminute hence on rough paper..
All silly problems that I wished we could have settled before going onstage. I know I pretty much committed alot of emceeing sins..same ones my students committed.
But I at least did things without looking at my script much and I put in my entire energy in it. With the reaction and response of the crowd, I didnt force them overboard on replying to me..and I walked around the crowds to get closer to the audience instead. Im glad I did that...
So all in all. Im okay wm my performance. Wished I could have done thigns better but that will have to be for another event.
Ning
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Im sorry...
You ever felt like u wanted to say sorry and you had a lready said alot of sorries but the sorries some how cudnt make up for the amount of apology in your heart?
Yap...
Aside from that, ISC has been really busy. *pat on back* to all the yr2s who have been cracking heads and pulling together to do the LTC. I can see hte effort of most of them. :) We shall see how thigns go next next week when they execute it. Jia Yo!!!!
Comperes training has become more regular. *big hugs* to the seniors who are doing it despite how the juniors think alot fot eh training is redundant. Its my fault for making you guys turn you into nasty bitches and do things that you;re not happy to do.
Yes I have learnt the lesson that nothing is peachy. Not even a small club. Im ready to give in and alot of the seniors are ready to give in.....its easier that way isnt it?
Got 2 events back to back this week. 14Nov afternoon and 15 Nov 3am in the morning...I havnt done events in a long time and I AM NERVOUS...
Everything pple have said abt me being a good compere...is...in my opinon...rubbish coz everyone who comments on my event...is biased... Funny how that sounds like a junior I know.
My mum is in Israel. Im claiming her conversion and I hope she gets the experience of being baptised in the Dead Sea. Hope they have fun and get me the prayer shawl and Matzah bread I requested. :) No Im not being religious. Its a momento for me.
Dad's the only one at home and so as u can now tell..Im not at home. :/
Anyway..Im just rambling now coz alot have been saying that my entries are depressing. Haha there is a theory of people being so depressed that they're so used to it that they dont seem depressed
I finally conclude that I might be like that. So while I check it up..I can confirm just yet.
But I'll be honest and say that my blog is meant more for an expression of myself...not for entertainment value.
Gotta go. shoulders aching. Time to go home before I get sleepy
God Bless
Yap...
Aside from that, ISC has been really busy. *pat on back* to all the yr2s who have been cracking heads and pulling together to do the LTC. I can see hte effort of most of them. :) We shall see how thigns go next next week when they execute it. Jia Yo!!!!
Comperes training has become more regular. *big hugs* to the seniors who are doing it despite how the juniors think alot fot eh training is redundant. Its my fault for making you guys turn you into nasty bitches and do things that you;re not happy to do.
Yes I have learnt the lesson that nothing is peachy. Not even a small club. Im ready to give in and alot of the seniors are ready to give in.....its easier that way isnt it?
Got 2 events back to back this week. 14Nov afternoon and 15 Nov 3am in the morning...I havnt done events in a long time and I AM NERVOUS...
Everything pple have said abt me being a good compere...is...in my opinon...rubbish coz everyone who comments on my event...is biased... Funny how that sounds like a junior I know.
My mum is in Israel. Im claiming her conversion and I hope she gets the experience of being baptised in the Dead Sea. Hope they have fun and get me the prayer shawl and Matzah bread I requested. :) No Im not being religious. Its a momento for me.
Dad's the only one at home and so as u can now tell..Im not at home. :/
Anyway..Im just rambling now coz alot have been saying that my entries are depressing. Haha there is a theory of people being so depressed that they're so used to it that they dont seem depressed
I finally conclude that I might be like that. So while I check it up..I can confirm just yet.
But I'll be honest and say that my blog is meant more for an expression of myself...not for entertainment value.
Gotta go. shoulders aching. Time to go home before I get sleepy
God Bless
Friday, October 23, 2009
Busy day...
Spent the day doing ISC manual.
Ive been quite worried abt ISC these few days that I was close to tearing when i heard abt the current issues in ISC. Im trying to tell myself that alot of things cant be dealt with by other pple but the pple involved themselves...This is however causing a split in the club....
All I can do is try my best to be the glue...
The dinner I had w ISC was fun. :) Havnt seen these guys in months and really do miss them alot man. Even int eh span of 2 months...I some how see that they've grown up. :) I see how 3-4 countries can be seated at the same table and im honored to be in the midst of it. Dont know if they know what being in ISC really means...to be..its a piece of the population that we've healed..after all the strife around hte world..prejudice, misunderstandings have made people drift apart.
At the same time..SPARC was having interviews...saw only a few but I knoe they need the people and the ones I saw were not tooo bad! :)
Met the Comperes and we had discussions on what to do with the juniors next....Im past my upset stage...more at my helpless stage......somethings cant be helped but the ones themselves...Yet I sooo wish I cud tell them how much compereing can mean to people. Me included. I guess its not fair to push these emotions on others coz they might not feel the same way...Im quite ready to give up.
And other clubs like SP String Ensemble...SP Guitarists....
All I can do at he end of the day...is really pray to God for wisdom and cast my worries to Him and know that aside from what I can doooo...he will work int heir lives to let this work out. :)
God Bless
Ive been quite worried abt ISC these few days that I was close to tearing when i heard abt the current issues in ISC. Im trying to tell myself that alot of things cant be dealt with by other pple but the pple involved themselves...This is however causing a split in the club....
All I can do is try my best to be the glue...
The dinner I had w ISC was fun. :) Havnt seen these guys in months and really do miss them alot man. Even int eh span of 2 months...I some how see that they've grown up. :) I see how 3-4 countries can be seated at the same table and im honored to be in the midst of it. Dont know if they know what being in ISC really means...to be..its a piece of the population that we've healed..after all the strife around hte world..prejudice, misunderstandings have made people drift apart.
At the same time..SPARC was having interviews...saw only a few but I knoe they need the people and the ones I saw were not tooo bad! :)
Met the Comperes and we had discussions on what to do with the juniors next....Im past my upset stage...more at my helpless stage......somethings cant be helped but the ones themselves...Yet I sooo wish I cud tell them how much compereing can mean to people. Me included. I guess its not fair to push these emotions on others coz they might not feel the same way...Im quite ready to give up.
And other clubs like SP String Ensemble...SP Guitarists....
All I can do at he end of the day...is really pray to God for wisdom and cast my worries to Him and know that aside from what I can doooo...he will work int heir lives to let this work out. :)
God Bless
Monday, October 05, 2009
Camp Rocked Me Off The Raft!
Was in Ipoh for Leadership Training Camp.
Let me 1stly say my quote for this camp: You can never stop learning wherever you are.
As Bishop TD Jake's Mum also said: The whole world is a university and you're the students. When you wake up in the morning, don't forget to go to school.
I learnt a fair bit going for this camp even though its meant for students. Everyone knows that you can teach students but students will teach you.
Every camp I go, I learn to facilitate and I learn how to communicate. This camp was another of those lessons that I came out feeling I could have done better. But smetimes we just have to learn that way.
The best bit out of the camp for me...was falling out of the raft. The entire raft banged into the Albeit it wasnt a fun thing to do but the experience is nonetheless the most memorable. I felt scared at that point of time because the rapid was in front of me. Hahaha I body surfed abit and hit some rocks etc and then I came to a boulder in front of me that I was worried would be danger to me. Instead, the water brought me up to the boulder sot hat I could sit there comfortably. :) I was stupid enough to grab the raft and be dragged along some more (hitting more rocks) But aside from that stupidity, the more I think about it, the more I know God was trying to make sure I was okay by bringing me to the boulder.
Can describe to you on how I got onto the rock coz it just seemed like the water sweeped me up and plonked me on the rock. It was smooth ride! I just went with the flow and waved "hi" to the raft once I found myself sitting put. Hahaha
I was also the sacrificial lamb for the rest since I was stubborn enough to not put on insect repellent. I've got mosquito bites and sandfly bites.
Also got an A&W bear as a souvenier and took my Big Toe around the residence to take silly photos.
The camp was indeed very fun. :)
There are many times that i wished i had thought of God more often while doing all that. Or appreciated my surroundings more. The beauty of the waterfall, the feeling in the water, the ups and downs of hte raft, the security we got from our guides, everything! Its easy to abseil down a waterfall just worrying abt whether you can make it down safely..but I wished I had taken time to go down and feel the water run down like a shower. :) or even taken a camera up to shoot from there!
I'd say that Im glad i conquered the waterfall and white water again. :)
Im glad God kept my students and I safe from harm. :) Yes we had mosquito bites and scratches etc but No serious injury to any.
Also had fun in Gua Tempurong. It was pitch dark as we climbed through all the crevices etc but it was fun while it lasted. Some holes are so small that you get claustrophobic haha
Sunday's service was good. The songs for worship were my favourite and it was uplifting for me. I dont know why but its been such a long time since I teared while singing but I did. I kept my mind off my worries and visualized myself in His presence, singing to Him. Trust me..the tears were of thanksgiving.
Went to Tecman after church and stayed there for 2 hours. got a book for a sista of mine who I feel needs the encouragement now. I know how she may be feeling because of personal experience and I know without God's help, she will have a harder time getting over her issues. Like me.
To end off the day, went to Mandarin Gardens to see Grandpa. He hurt his eye. Saw Ally as well and she is as insane and bubbly as ever. Max is still quiet but he'll grow big enough to make noise soon. :) nice to have 4 generations in the house.
Bought tickets for BaBies Proms for Jill, Ally & I. We are going for a girls day out at VCH in december.
Talk soon. Till then...
God Bless!
Let me 1stly say my quote for this camp: You can never stop learning wherever you are.
As Bishop TD Jake's Mum also said: The whole world is a university and you're the students. When you wake up in the morning, don't forget to go to school.
I learnt a fair bit going for this camp even though its meant for students. Everyone knows that you can teach students but students will teach you.
Every camp I go, I learn to facilitate and I learn how to communicate. This camp was another of those lessons that I came out feeling I could have done better. But smetimes we just have to learn that way.
The best bit out of the camp for me...was falling out of the raft. The entire raft banged into the Albeit it wasnt a fun thing to do but the experience is nonetheless the most memorable. I felt scared at that point of time because the rapid was in front of me. Hahaha I body surfed abit and hit some rocks etc and then I came to a boulder in front of me that I was worried would be danger to me. Instead, the water brought me up to the boulder sot hat I could sit there comfortably. :) I was stupid enough to grab the raft and be dragged along some more (hitting more rocks) But aside from that stupidity, the more I think about it, the more I know God was trying to make sure I was okay by bringing me to the boulder.
Can describe to you on how I got onto the rock coz it just seemed like the water sweeped me up and plonked me on the rock. It was smooth ride! I just went with the flow and waved "hi" to the raft once I found myself sitting put. Hahaha
I was also the sacrificial lamb for the rest since I was stubborn enough to not put on insect repellent. I've got mosquito bites and sandfly bites.
Also got an A&W bear as a souvenier and took my Big Toe around the residence to take silly photos.
The camp was indeed very fun. :)
There are many times that i wished i had thought of God more often while doing all that. Or appreciated my surroundings more. The beauty of the waterfall, the feeling in the water, the ups and downs of hte raft, the security we got from our guides, everything! Its easy to abseil down a waterfall just worrying abt whether you can make it down safely..but I wished I had taken time to go down and feel the water run down like a shower. :) or even taken a camera up to shoot from there!
I'd say that Im glad i conquered the waterfall and white water again. :)
Im glad God kept my students and I safe from harm. :) Yes we had mosquito bites and scratches etc but No serious injury to any.
Also had fun in Gua Tempurong. It was pitch dark as we climbed through all the crevices etc but it was fun while it lasted. Some holes are so small that you get claustrophobic haha
Sunday's service was good. The songs for worship were my favourite and it was uplifting for me. I dont know why but its been such a long time since I teared while singing but I did. I kept my mind off my worries and visualized myself in His presence, singing to Him. Trust me..the tears were of thanksgiving.
Went to Tecman after church and stayed there for 2 hours. got a book for a sista of mine who I feel needs the encouragement now. I know how she may be feeling because of personal experience and I know without God's help, she will have a harder time getting over her issues. Like me.
To end off the day, went to Mandarin Gardens to see Grandpa. He hurt his eye. Saw Ally as well and she is as insane and bubbly as ever. Max is still quiet but he'll grow big enough to make noise soon. :) nice to have 4 generations in the house.
Bought tickets for BaBies Proms for Jill, Ally & I. We are going for a girls day out at VCH in december.
Talk soon. Till then...
God Bless!
Monday, September 28, 2009
PIcs I owe!
Mum's side Granny who passed away in Aug.
Mum's side Grandpa who is handsome as ever. The only grandpa I know and love.
My niece whom I adore. :)
Random boy sleeping in the Dead Sea Scrolls Exhibition hall.
ChristianityHistory was too boring for this young'en.
The Torah: Old Testement in Hebrew used by the Judaism believers
Thats all for now! More soon. None related to students though coz Ive too many of them. Everything else will be on facebook in due time! :)
God Bless!
Nice Weekend!
This weekend Ive been the best child Ive been since primary school.
My initial plan of going out on sat was pushed back coz I was lazy and coz I decided somethings were more impt then roaming the streets. ...Being w God. :)
Yah call me crazy and maybe fired up with God but I'm still me.
In fact let me dispense the myths a christian carries with them. Or to be politically correct..this is what I feel is hanging around me when I mention Im a christian. So I'll just clear the air with a few points
- I like to do normal things like watch movie, listen to music (those who know me know my music taste is warped), read books, play games, sports etc
- I enjoy time wth normal friends
- Im lame and trip over lame jokes
- I have normal human feelings
- I have a normal family
- I have similar dreams
- I have frens of all religions, races, backgrounds
And these points can apply to pretty much allt he christians I know.
Christians may be potrayed as the bunch who abstain from evil or non-spiritual stuff, or ostracize themselves from normal pple who are not christians...ALL THAT IS BULLSHIT!
Yap I said it.
Diff between christians and other pple...is our faith in our God. And what our God has done for us that makes us a new creation so to speak. And our knowledge in His love for us that makes us loe Him and want to spend time with Him too. We are blessed with His blessings and thereby have unexplanable confidence in conquering the problems in this world.
But note that if any Christian comes and makes you think they are superior to you and stuck up about it and points out your past to condemn you or make you feel lowly about yourself....thats not right.
Our God teaches us that God loves everyone including nonbelievers. And so we as Christians should treat our fellow humans with the same love we have for our fellow christians.
No doubt that christians have something common that we like to talk about...but we dont ostracize. And if you know a christian who does not want to talk to you or give you advise or listen to you because of who you are...thats not right either.
Im not saying Christians are the same as non-christians coz Bible says we're not and our beliefs differ.
But no Christians are Christians and not Aliens! (The right believing ones at least)
I dont know why I've said so much...maybe I dont want my blog to seem like a Christian website just coz I find a joy in talking abt God in my entries...or maybe because I know of pple I care for who have been poisoned by an image of Christians who in the end, make them feel that its better to stay away.
I wont preach abt the hidden depts of God but all I'll say is..I know my God is not asking His children (us) to chase pple away from knowing Him. He's not the fierce, unsympathetic and easily offended God that others may see Him as.
I guess it makes no sense for any God to chase anybody away because it means less believers for them rite?!?!
OKAY that said...moving on with my nice weekend!!!
Stayed at home all day! Dad & Mom must have been wondering why but never asked me.
- I had all my meals at home..unlike the normal where I had all my meals outside.
- Cleared my room
- Cleared the bathroom or all my laundry
- Washed my shoes and socks
- Showered early
- Ate w the family quickly
- Returned my library books
All this wouldnt be done without my mum;s nagging in the background. (on normal days)
In fact, I spent the day reading, using the PC, studying the bible, watching Aaja Nachle etc
Sunday was the usual church morning but it was at Indoor Stadium and Pastor spoke about Restoration in the End Times.
I took comfort in knowing that what I lose is restored to me in double folds. The money I lost, the family bonds I lost, the relationship I lost..etc....I might not have the exact thing back but I will be restored. :)
Went home early, had dinner at home etc.
In fact it was a normal weekend for most pple but we all know that something like this snt normla for all families. Some families dont have the luxury due to various reasons.
And strangely enough..while I sometimes feel that not going out on weekends or week day evenings is a waste of precious time, (since I can meet up with frens etc) I felt more refreshed this weekend than others. :)
Maybe less walking and talking.
Gonna start putting in more pics. Humans like visuals hahaha
God Bless!!!
My initial plan of going out on sat was pushed back coz I was lazy and coz I decided somethings were more impt then roaming the streets. ...Being w God. :)
Yah call me crazy and maybe fired up with God but I'm still me.
In fact let me dispense the myths a christian carries with them. Or to be politically correct..this is what I feel is hanging around me when I mention Im a christian. So I'll just clear the air with a few points
- I like to do normal things like watch movie, listen to music (those who know me know my music taste is warped), read books, play games, sports etc
- I enjoy time wth normal friends
- Im lame and trip over lame jokes
- I have normal human feelings
- I have a normal family
- I have similar dreams
- I have frens of all religions, races, backgrounds
And these points can apply to pretty much allt he christians I know.
Christians may be potrayed as the bunch who abstain from evil or non-spiritual stuff, or ostracize themselves from normal pple who are not christians...ALL THAT IS BULLSHIT!
Yap I said it.
Diff between christians and other pple...is our faith in our God. And what our God has done for us that makes us a new creation so to speak. And our knowledge in His love for us that makes us loe Him and want to spend time with Him too. We are blessed with His blessings and thereby have unexplanable confidence in conquering the problems in this world.
But note that if any Christian comes and makes you think they are superior to you and stuck up about it and points out your past to condemn you or make you feel lowly about yourself....thats not right.
Our God teaches us that God loves everyone including nonbelievers. And so we as Christians should treat our fellow humans with the same love we have for our fellow christians.
No doubt that christians have something common that we like to talk about...but we dont ostracize. And if you know a christian who does not want to talk to you or give you advise or listen to you because of who you are...thats not right either.
Im not saying Christians are the same as non-christians coz Bible says we're not and our beliefs differ.
But no Christians are Christians and not Aliens! (The right believing ones at least)
I dont know why I've said so much...maybe I dont want my blog to seem like a Christian website just coz I find a joy in talking abt God in my entries...or maybe because I know of pple I care for who have been poisoned by an image of Christians who in the end, make them feel that its better to stay away.
I wont preach abt the hidden depts of God but all I'll say is..I know my God is not asking His children (us) to chase pple away from knowing Him. He's not the fierce, unsympathetic and easily offended God that others may see Him as.
I guess it makes no sense for any God to chase anybody away because it means less believers for them rite?!?!
OKAY that said...moving on with my nice weekend!!!
Stayed at home all day! Dad & Mom must have been wondering why but never asked me.
- I had all my meals at home..unlike the normal where I had all my meals outside.
- Cleared my room
- Cleared the bathroom or all my laundry
- Washed my shoes and socks
- Showered early
- Ate w the family quickly
- Returned my library books
All this wouldnt be done without my mum;s nagging in the background. (on normal days)
In fact, I spent the day reading, using the PC, studying the bible, watching Aaja Nachle etc
Sunday was the usual church morning but it was at Indoor Stadium and Pastor spoke about Restoration in the End Times.
I took comfort in knowing that what I lose is restored to me in double folds. The money I lost, the family bonds I lost, the relationship I lost..etc....I might not have the exact thing back but I will be restored. :)
Went home early, had dinner at home etc.
In fact it was a normal weekend for most pple but we all know that something like this snt normla for all families. Some families dont have the luxury due to various reasons.
And strangely enough..while I sometimes feel that not going out on weekends or week day evenings is a waste of precious time, (since I can meet up with frens etc) I felt more refreshed this weekend than others. :)
Maybe less walking and talking.
Gonna start putting in more pics. Humans like visuals hahaha
God Bless!!!
Thursday, September 24, 2009
The Grinch, His Dog and Whoville or Maybe Mr Scrooge...
Yeah well Im pretty near to breaking point...had an okay day at work..tried to start the day obediently with some quiet time, ended the day with 2 of my bros andd Mario Wii game..but ended up having a quarrel with my dad.
Its nothing new. I admit....when my dad's around..I go code red inside. Not the best things to say about my dad but through the years....my love for him has wained. I say this knowing my uncles or aunties might be reading this but even ont eh surface...Im sure they would have sensed the kind of strain our entire household has.
And just 2 days ago, Pastor Brian Houston was talking about God in our household.
I accept the fact that my sis and I are the only direct relatives in this household who can save my mom and my dad and if I rest on God;s word, its accomplishable..only with His word. Because after tonight...I know my flesh is so weak tat nothing I do in my own srtength would be enough for me to even bypass my code red.
I dont know...maybe its me...I see my dad as someone who has soooo much bad stuff in his heart (not saying he's evil) that he doesnt see good in others. Not even his direct family. I swear theres at least a dozen spirits in Him who are playing with His mind. Im not joking... Like the crazy guy Jesus bumped into with a legion of evil spirits in him
In my flesh,,,I see my dad as the Grinch and I now see my mum as the Grinch's dog.
Not to use words like Bitch etc. Nope...why I say she's the dog is because she's still scared of him and tries so much to please him that its affected her mental and her physical health too.
We grew up in a family that bites their lips/tongues and swallows everything....but its getting harder to stay that way. Esp when I know for sure that my God doesnt want things this way!!!!
I want sooo much to garner the Holy Spirit in me and hold fast to Jesus promises of His power...and chase off the devils in my dad!!! Think of it as exorcism if you want to think extreme.
The more i think about it...the more the vocab in my head gets vulgar.
How do you live with a thousand demons in your head spewing doubt in everyone you know and casting lies on everyone you've met? Not to mention making you paranoid with "what if this happened to your daughters?"s
Just thinking about this long enough can make my heart smaller...not to mention the one who has to suffer from it.
As we sat int he same room....I teared...not because I had defied my dad...but because I felt helpless in trying to reason with him. That I cant even save my own dad...In my flesh I hoped something would go wrong to prove to him once and for all that not everything he says is right. But my spirit knows that my flesh cant be trusted with sensible thoughts.
Every day I see my mum and dad think and how they are affected by life and time etc..I rememebr how Martha (int eh bible) was scurrying around the kitchen preparing a meal for Jesus & His disciples while Mary just sat at Jesus feet to listen to His words.
Martha got pissed coz she was the only one working for Jesus so she went to Jesus and said " Lord is it nothing to you that Mary has left me alone to serve?...." In one shot...she blamed both Jesus and Mary.
Jesus replied, " Martha Martha you are anxious and troubled about many things"
I cast my cares to God tonight...knowing that if I think about how troubled my family is...I will be controlled by the devil to think that the people around me can never be saved. Nor can I be any help to save them...when I know my God will use even the smallest thing to bring down a giant...likewise...he will use little weak and "not good at sustaining a discussion" me to win over the battle with Satan over my parents.
I know the best thing out of all this...is that Satan has caused me to look to Jesus more.
My affection for my dad may be waining....but I know God's love for my dad is strong as well..likewise for my mum. So I will bank on my God's love for me and my love for my God...and my faith in Him to use me as a weapon to win this battle.
God Bless
Its nothing new. I admit....when my dad's around..I go code red inside. Not the best things to say about my dad but through the years....my love for him has wained. I say this knowing my uncles or aunties might be reading this but even ont eh surface...Im sure they would have sensed the kind of strain our entire household has.
And just 2 days ago, Pastor Brian Houston was talking about God in our household.
I accept the fact that my sis and I are the only direct relatives in this household who can save my mom and my dad and if I rest on God;s word, its accomplishable..only with His word. Because after tonight...I know my flesh is so weak tat nothing I do in my own srtength would be enough for me to even bypass my code red.
I dont know...maybe its me...I see my dad as someone who has soooo much bad stuff in his heart (not saying he's evil) that he doesnt see good in others. Not even his direct family. I swear theres at least a dozen spirits in Him who are playing with His mind. Im not joking... Like the crazy guy Jesus bumped into with a legion of evil spirits in him
In my flesh,,,I see my dad as the Grinch and I now see my mum as the Grinch's dog.
Not to use words like Bitch etc. Nope...why I say she's the dog is because she's still scared of him and tries so much to please him that its affected her mental and her physical health too.
We grew up in a family that bites their lips/tongues and swallows everything....but its getting harder to stay that way. Esp when I know for sure that my God doesnt want things this way!!!!
I want sooo much to garner the Holy Spirit in me and hold fast to Jesus promises of His power...and chase off the devils in my dad!!! Think of it as exorcism if you want to think extreme.
The more i think about it...the more the vocab in my head gets vulgar.
How do you live with a thousand demons in your head spewing doubt in everyone you know and casting lies on everyone you've met? Not to mention making you paranoid with "what if this happened to your daughters?"s
Just thinking about this long enough can make my heart smaller...not to mention the one who has to suffer from it.
As we sat int he same room....I teared...not because I had defied my dad...but because I felt helpless in trying to reason with him. That I cant even save my own dad...In my flesh I hoped something would go wrong to prove to him once and for all that not everything he says is right. But my spirit knows that my flesh cant be trusted with sensible thoughts.
Every day I see my mum and dad think and how they are affected by life and time etc..I rememebr how Martha (int eh bible) was scurrying around the kitchen preparing a meal for Jesus & His disciples while Mary just sat at Jesus feet to listen to His words.
Martha got pissed coz she was the only one working for Jesus so she went to Jesus and said " Lord is it nothing to you that Mary has left me alone to serve?...." In one shot...she blamed both Jesus and Mary.
Jesus replied, " Martha Martha you are anxious and troubled about many things"
I cast my cares to God tonight...knowing that if I think about how troubled my family is...I will be controlled by the devil to think that the people around me can never be saved. Nor can I be any help to save them...when I know my God will use even the smallest thing to bring down a giant...likewise...he will use little weak and "not good at sustaining a discussion" me to win over the battle with Satan over my parents.
I know the best thing out of all this...is that Satan has caused me to look to Jesus more.
My affection for my dad may be waining....but I know God's love for my dad is strong as well..likewise for my mum. So I will bank on my God's love for me and my love for my God...and my faith in Him to use me as a weapon to win this battle.
God Bless
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Start of new days...
Wasnt feeling too swell yesterday because of mistakes I made and while my head was behrating me for it...I turned to God and what I got from God was...the grace & favour of God is more than enough to help us with our mistakes.
I spent the evening watching Pastor's Secrets in Hebrew Language Dvd and it was fantastic! :)
My resolution is to sleep early and wake up earlier to have time to read abit abit each day. It really does make a difference! :)Going about the day with God's word in me. :)
My mum;s going to Israel end this year and I sooo want to go too but I cant. Im banking on my mum being saved, being baptised by water and the Holy Spirit in Israel. Coz that would be coolness!
I think for any Jesus loving person...Israel is a place theyd want to go because this is where everything in the Bible is based on! At least the entire Old Testement and most of hte New Testament. Like Muslims to Mecca
I know I want to go there, climb up to one of the hills and sit down and indulge in a good dose of God's word.
I guess at this point, any non-believer is not very fond of me writing about this but I dont know how to describe the calmness I feel when I go to Him and stay by His words and His love long enough.
In fact when Fran & I went to Tecman to look at some bibles and books. Just being in that room and surrounded by so many books that just scream the same thing, " Jesus Loves You and wants you to depend on Him" brought an undescribable peace in my heart that made me want to go, " God, I dont know why..its not like Ive read 1% of these...but I feel an growing love in my heart for you just being here"
We chanced upon an English-Greek Bible and Parallel Bibles (2 versions of the bible placed side by side on a page for comparison)
So tempting.....
For those who dont knoe...the Bible was written half in Hebrew n half in Greek.
You ask me how I could have so much love for a God. I dont know! I know my God is impartial to how good I am so long as I would regard Him as my saviour. I know His words are kind and loving and I know Jesus died for me to get a place higher than the devil Himself. Maybe thats why.
Maybe thats why my thirst to know more about Him is more than my eyes can have time to absorb.
Isnt it the same as loving a human? Esp when its your bf/gf and you dont know why but you still love the person anyway? Almost like that. Only diff is that my God doesnt leave me.
Im asking God for answers these days....:) Hoping He can give me a direction on which road to take.
Also for those of you who didnt get a chance to go for teh Dead Sea Scrolls Exhibit, its a pity. The exhibit gave me the same peace and assuarance as when I went to Tecman. How many people believed in God so much that they would risk their lives to get the bible done.
How despite of the ages past....God will preserve His word.
Photos soon.
God Bless!
I spent the evening watching Pastor's Secrets in Hebrew Language Dvd and it was fantastic! :)
My resolution is to sleep early and wake up earlier to have time to read abit abit each day. It really does make a difference! :)Going about the day with God's word in me. :)
My mum;s going to Israel end this year and I sooo want to go too but I cant. Im banking on my mum being saved, being baptised by water and the Holy Spirit in Israel. Coz that would be coolness!
I think for any Jesus loving person...Israel is a place theyd want to go because this is where everything in the Bible is based on! At least the entire Old Testement and most of hte New Testament. Like Muslims to Mecca
I know I want to go there, climb up to one of the hills and sit down and indulge in a good dose of God's word.
I guess at this point, any non-believer is not very fond of me writing about this but I dont know how to describe the calmness I feel when I go to Him and stay by His words and His love long enough.
In fact when Fran & I went to Tecman to look at some bibles and books. Just being in that room and surrounded by so many books that just scream the same thing, " Jesus Loves You and wants you to depend on Him" brought an undescribable peace in my heart that made me want to go, " God, I dont know why..its not like Ive read 1% of these...but I feel an growing love in my heart for you just being here"
We chanced upon an English-Greek Bible and Parallel Bibles (2 versions of the bible placed side by side on a page for comparison)
So tempting.....
For those who dont knoe...the Bible was written half in Hebrew n half in Greek.
You ask me how I could have so much love for a God. I dont know! I know my God is impartial to how good I am so long as I would regard Him as my saviour. I know His words are kind and loving and I know Jesus died for me to get a place higher than the devil Himself. Maybe thats why.
Maybe thats why my thirst to know more about Him is more than my eyes can have time to absorb.
Isnt it the same as loving a human? Esp when its your bf/gf and you dont know why but you still love the person anyway? Almost like that. Only diff is that my God doesnt leave me.
Im asking God for answers these days....:) Hoping He can give me a direction on which road to take.
Also for those of you who didnt get a chance to go for teh Dead Sea Scrolls Exhibit, its a pity. The exhibit gave me the same peace and assuarance as when I went to Tecman. How many people believed in God so much that they would risk their lives to get the bible done.
How despite of the ages past....God will preserve His word.
Photos soon.
God Bless!
Friday, September 18, 2009
Burning out...not much oil left on my lamp
So Poly FOrum is officially over. Thanks for being here, dont forget anythings as you proceed out of the hall and once you;re out, go home and dont come back! :) jkjk
I almost went crazy for this....but glad its done! got to know new people..got to bond w my sparc abit more...
But truth be told..Im burning out and I dont know how long i can hold on....
My passion for working with these kids wont die. But its harder to stay back after work to meet up w them. the load is getting heavier.
Other than that..Im fine.need a holiday but Im fine!
God Bless
I almost went crazy for this....but glad its done! got to know new people..got to bond w my sparc abit more...
But truth be told..Im burning out and I dont know how long i can hold on....
My passion for working with these kids wont die. But its harder to stay back after work to meet up w them. the load is getting heavier.
Other than that..Im fine.need a holiday but Im fine!
God Bless
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
Dad's hearing
Took afternoon off yesterday to accompany dad to ntuc healthcare.
He was gonna get his hearing aid and after he tried it out....he asked for the price. Lets say its more expensive than my hp, dvd player. laptop, bag, mp4 and clothes combined...
Doc also said to get his other ear checked since my dad menioned he had sudden hearing loss. Could be more that meets the eye.
Its kinda scary the more I think about it but I put my trust in God. I know my God will heal him.
Ning
He was gonna get his hearing aid and after he tried it out....he asked for the price. Lets say its more expensive than my hp, dvd player. laptop, bag, mp4 and clothes combined...
Doc also said to get his other ear checked since my dad menioned he had sudden hearing loss. Could be more that meets the eye.
Its kinda scary the more I think about it but I put my trust in God. I know my God will heal him.
Ning
Friday, September 04, 2009
Thur & Fri
Thur:
Comperes and SPARC gonna get a change of uniform. Seems exciting really and you learn abit about what the different parts of the uniform etc. Coolness!
SPARC has decided and the sample should be out soon! Comperes design shud be decided within this week. :)
Had abit of sports activity with the dept at the sports hall so if you heard alot of commotion..it was us hahaha. Went over late thanks to the uniform issue but had a chance to play frisbee with the rest and it was fun! Also shot some hoops w the netball. And if you didnt already know, we have foldable basketball baskets and board...yah that bigass thing except it can be folded down and so we had this silly idea to do a slamdunk on our knees! Photoworthy but pity no camera at time of incident. Was BLOODY FUNNY!!!
Perspired alot but felt damn shiok.
Went home, finished listening to 1 of pastor's sermons (out of the many) and watched Asterix and Cesear on DVD.
Cant wait for this month to end.......
Gonna go down to SIM tomorrow..that will be my achievement for tomorrow.
Comperes and SPARC gonna get a change of uniform. Seems exciting really and you learn abit about what the different parts of the uniform etc. Coolness!
SPARC has decided and the sample should be out soon! Comperes design shud be decided within this week. :)
Had abit of sports activity with the dept at the sports hall so if you heard alot of commotion..it was us hahaha. Went over late thanks to the uniform issue but had a chance to play frisbee with the rest and it was fun! Also shot some hoops w the netball. And if you didnt already know, we have foldable basketball baskets and board...yah that bigass thing except it can be folded down and so we had this silly idea to do a slamdunk on our knees! Photoworthy but pity no camera at time of incident. Was BLOODY FUNNY!!!
Perspired alot but felt damn shiok.
Went home, finished listening to 1 of pastor's sermons (out of the many) and watched Asterix and Cesear on DVD.
Cant wait for this month to end.......
Gonna go down to SIM tomorrow..that will be my achievement for tomorrow.
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
Wed
I made a promise to myself to make sure i make every day a well spent one and today was 1 such day.
Took leave coz Dad had to go to the specialist clinic to see an ear doctor....issues but Im praying all goes better. Thanks Lord!
So went with him to see the doc and got back.
Went back to Guanyang for awhile since it was just nearby..to say hi to ex-teachers. :) The ones whom I owe heaps. Esp my godma. Said hi to my sec 3&4 chem teacher, my sec3 english teacher, my godma, my Sec1-4 science lab tech and my sec4 phy teacher.
As I said in an email...
"despite how your students maybe be irritating, not hand in homework or break rules for no good reason, know that you have a horde of alumni who have you to thank."
Im glad I went down despite how shortlived the visit was and how strict the rules are that i almost cudnt go in.
Also went to SPH to find my cousin and had a chat with her. Which is quite amazing really coz I never really had chances to chat with her. And we know how not speaking to someone on normal basis is gonna make the "first time" a very uncomfortable one. But now..not this time round. :)
A nice good chat.
Then went to see my grandfather and the "mum's side family" got together to celebrate the birthday of my grandma (who passed away last last month) Spent time with my grandpa and seeing him in his dazed state...heartbreaking.
BUT we make the best of what we have.
My niece and nephew was there and while Jillian looked after the smaller, Ally has everybody to play with.
I got into the house, called her name and she came to me to give me a hug.
Yes!
And my youngest cousin was there with girlfriend.
How time flies.....
Well...it also got me thinking about what which way I would have to go in the long run...The more I read God's word, the less frightened I am with it....
Got to arrange for to meet ups with my ex teachers. Time to plan for gatherings!
God Bless
Took leave coz Dad had to go to the specialist clinic to see an ear doctor....issues but Im praying all goes better. Thanks Lord!
So went with him to see the doc and got back.
Went back to Guanyang for awhile since it was just nearby..to say hi to ex-teachers. :) The ones whom I owe heaps. Esp my godma. Said hi to my sec 3&4 chem teacher, my sec3 english teacher, my godma, my Sec1-4 science lab tech and my sec4 phy teacher.
As I said in an email...
"despite how your students maybe be irritating, not hand in homework or break rules for no good reason, know that you have a horde of alumni who have you to thank."
Im glad I went down despite how shortlived the visit was and how strict the rules are that i almost cudnt go in.
Also went to SPH to find my cousin and had a chat with her. Which is quite amazing really coz I never really had chances to chat with her. And we know how not speaking to someone on normal basis is gonna make the "first time" a very uncomfortable one. But now..not this time round. :)
A nice good chat.
Then went to see my grandfather and the "mum's side family" got together to celebrate the birthday of my grandma (who passed away last last month) Spent time with my grandpa and seeing him in his dazed state...heartbreaking.
BUT we make the best of what we have.
My niece and nephew was there and while Jillian looked after the smaller, Ally has everybody to play with.
I got into the house, called her name and she came to me to give me a hug.
Yes!
And my youngest cousin was there with girlfriend.
How time flies.....
Well...it also got me thinking about what which way I would have to go in the long run...The more I read God's word, the less frightened I am with it....
Got to arrange for to meet ups with my ex teachers. Time to plan for gatherings!
God Bless
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Dead Sea scrolls
If you have hte chance, go visit hte Dead Sea Scroll Exhibit. Arts House till early Sept.
Didnt get a chance to go gym..too lazy again..Haiz. Plus it was raining the whole morning.
Instead I heard sermons on my laptop. I managed to clear my table and bags.
So went to the Dead Sea Scroll and it was such a heartwarming experience knowing that God's Word surpasses time and will always remain intact for all. :)
Its interesting really because the curator said that the only intact book of hte bible they found..was Isaiah. So I know God has His heart over that. and some of the parchment fragments they showed had grace teaching in it. :)
After visiting all the exhibits..my conclusion is true to my beliefs. That the things which God holds dear are hte exact thigns that is suffereing from condemnation and rumours and persecution. Hence the rtanslators of the Bible were mostly risking their own lives. Which leads me to firmly believe my arguement that While my dear Pastor Prince is being doubted on his immense riches and our church having bad reputation...that God;s heart is truly with us. Likewise all us christians who go there.
AMEN
Went down to my grandpa's place and saw my niece again. 4 generations in 1 house. I love both of them alot. :)
God Bless
Didnt get a chance to go gym..too lazy again..Haiz. Plus it was raining the whole morning.
Instead I heard sermons on my laptop. I managed to clear my table and bags.
So went to the Dead Sea Scroll and it was such a heartwarming experience knowing that God's Word surpasses time and will always remain intact for all. :)
Its interesting really because the curator said that the only intact book of hte bible they found..was Isaiah. So I know God has His heart over that. and some of the parchment fragments they showed had grace teaching in it. :)
After visiting all the exhibits..my conclusion is true to my beliefs. That the things which God holds dear are hte exact thigns that is suffereing from condemnation and rumours and persecution. Hence the rtanslators of the Bible were mostly risking their own lives. Which leads me to firmly believe my arguement that While my dear Pastor Prince is being doubted on his immense riches and our church having bad reputation...that God;s heart is truly with us. Likewise all us christians who go there.
AMEN
Went down to my grandpa's place and saw my niece again. 4 generations in 1 house. I love both of them alot. :)
God Bless
Saturday Wisdoms
Woke up today half hearted to go gym so hoped my sista would wake up and thereby giving me exrta motivation to go gym. Unfortunately didnt work and she woke up late. K admittedly i was dissappointed with her coz its not the 1st time but I still love her loads so yah..forgiven.
Plus.. I should have just gone down to run myself..Maybe tomorrow morning then..before i go church
So...while we contemplated the various dates...I came to a conclusion that for the next 2 weeks, we wouldnt be able to meet. yes today was precious time lost..Haiz...lost for a silly reason but nvm...
I rollerbladed around today. came across alot of slopes and bumps and drains and etc that I ended up falling around 3 times. As I bladed and felt my legs hurt and etc..I know my goal wasnt far away and my falls wasnt serious. So me it suddenly became and analogy of life. We cant go through life without falling. But if we let falls hnider us from going through w the route..we lose out on life...That would be the Secular view of it.
Everybody thinks the road to believe in God is a tiresome one. BUT God says that He will bear our burdens and hand us His. He says His yoke is light. then you wonder how His yoke can be light when He had the huge task of spreading God's word and healing everyone who came to Him and was condemmed by everyone?
Things is..His yoke is indeed light. He is the Son of God, fully God and fully human at the same time. He had no sin in Him so He did not have to suffer from the inner Satan taunting Him. He however had Satan taunt Him from outside as He stayed in the wilderness. That He easily fought away because His love for His Father God was great and He knew His status and power.
He went around healing people and that may seem work but whatever One loves to do could never be considered as work. Especially when Jesus did it for His own beloved Father God. He loved us so much. As any person who is doing something for his loved ones.
Lastly..Jesus;s real yoke was the condemnation from His people...but think about why He did that? He did that for us! It is because of us that He had to go through that. All this for us..so that we can have His yoke. His own yoke! the yoke that involves the love and blessings of God..the over abundance of health and carefree worry-less life that Jesus had before He took our yoke.
So knowing this..all the more we have this life to conquer. We as christians have God to give us the standing that we can have favour of people around us. And that He will help us with our worries and cares.
So while Satan would taunts us internally and externally to believe that life is difficult and our falls can not be overcomed. We as christians know better that the goal at the end is wonderful. :)
I felt very good after that blading session. :) In the light of contemplating about further studies...I realize how important it is to stay focused and make life meaningful. I told myself that I should do something that is meaningful to me..every day. It has to be something that would be me to my goal. Whether it is reading the bible or christian book...or spending well used time w students...or doing my radio thing or deciding what to study..etc....I can not have a day that is slacking and of no meaning.
God Bless
Plus.. I should have just gone down to run myself..Maybe tomorrow morning then..before i go church
So...while we contemplated the various dates...I came to a conclusion that for the next 2 weeks, we wouldnt be able to meet. yes today was precious time lost..Haiz...lost for a silly reason but nvm...
I rollerbladed around today. came across alot of slopes and bumps and drains and etc that I ended up falling around 3 times. As I bladed and felt my legs hurt and etc..I know my goal wasnt far away and my falls wasnt serious. So me it suddenly became and analogy of life. We cant go through life without falling. But if we let falls hnider us from going through w the route..we lose out on life...That would be the Secular view of it.
Everybody thinks the road to believe in God is a tiresome one. BUT God says that He will bear our burdens and hand us His. He says His yoke is light. then you wonder how His yoke can be light when He had the huge task of spreading God's word and healing everyone who came to Him and was condemmed by everyone?
Things is..His yoke is indeed light. He is the Son of God, fully God and fully human at the same time. He had no sin in Him so He did not have to suffer from the inner Satan taunting Him. He however had Satan taunt Him from outside as He stayed in the wilderness. That He easily fought away because His love for His Father God was great and He knew His status and power.
He went around healing people and that may seem work but whatever One loves to do could never be considered as work. Especially when Jesus did it for His own beloved Father God. He loved us so much. As any person who is doing something for his loved ones.
Lastly..Jesus;s real yoke was the condemnation from His people...but think about why He did that? He did that for us! It is because of us that He had to go through that. All this for us..so that we can have His yoke. His own yoke! the yoke that involves the love and blessings of God..the over abundance of health and carefree worry-less life that Jesus had before He took our yoke.
So knowing this..all the more we have this life to conquer. We as christians have God to give us the standing that we can have favour of people around us. And that He will help us with our worries and cares.
So while Satan would taunts us internally and externally to believe that life is difficult and our falls can not be overcomed. We as christians know better that the goal at the end is wonderful. :)
I felt very good after that blading session. :) In the light of contemplating about further studies...I realize how important it is to stay focused and make life meaningful. I told myself that I should do something that is meaningful to me..every day. It has to be something that would be me to my goal. Whether it is reading the bible or christian book...or spending well used time w students...or doing my radio thing or deciding what to study..etc....I can not have a day that is slacking and of no meaning.
God Bless
Friday, August 28, 2009
Its time...to ramble
“The time has come,” the Walrus said,
“To talk of many things:
Of shoes—and ships—and sealing wax—
Of cabbages—and kings—
And why the sea is boiling hot—
And whether pigs have wings.”
Contemplation fills the brim of many empty minds
Of whereforth to go when the next sun doth rise
And I for 1 am 1 such person, raised chin into the world
Not of ignorance displayed but of troubled thoughts untold
For which step to take from here, which foot to take that step
When we have our minds made up then what then?
When does hesitence not become a part of the equation?
Dribble drabble of thoughts. No cause for worry. Is not the brain like that? cruising from thought to thought like a freight train? If I could catch every thought with a tweezer, Id be a genius.
God Bless
“To talk of many things:
Of shoes—and ships—and sealing wax—
Of cabbages—and kings—
And why the sea is boiling hot—
And whether pigs have wings.”
Contemplation fills the brim of many empty minds
Of whereforth to go when the next sun doth rise
And I for 1 am 1 such person, raised chin into the world
Not of ignorance displayed but of troubled thoughts untold
For which step to take from here, which foot to take that step
When we have our minds made up then what then?
When does hesitence not become a part of the equation?
Dribble drabble of thoughts. No cause for worry. Is not the brain like that? cruising from thought to thought like a freight train? If I could catch every thought with a tweezer, Id be a genius.
God Bless
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Nuggets of Truth
Sunday was good and the anointing was so strong that even before the sermon started, I got a nice revelation. Because Jesus has given the final answer to Satan and died on our behalf and resurrected, We who believe Jesus is our saviour, are righteous in His sight and Satna has not hold on us. We are hte righteous children of God who have God as our provider. We are rich beyond compare..
Anyway, the office has been alot quieter and its during the exam periods and holidays that I start to miss the students. Yes I admit! I do miss my students lining up outside my office to see me Wahahaha! I miss spending time doing silly things with them. Dang!
SOOO I miss you guys but study hard peeps.
Love you all!
God Bless
Anyway, the office has been alot quieter and its during the exam periods and holidays that I start to miss the students. Yes I admit! I do miss my students lining up outside my office to see me Wahahaha! I miss spending time doing silly things with them. Dang!
SOOO I miss you guys but study hard peeps.
Love you all!
God Bless
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Dont think abt how much u love God, but how much God loves you
So my students are all stresszed w projects and exams now..abit of a breather for me.
Alot of pple asked me how I was doing since my "all hell broke loose" blog entry and just to letcha know. Im fine. Anger and sorrow doesnt stay long w me
Went to the career fair today just to explore my further studying options but nothing much to see really so I got out earlier. Walked around a fair bit before I went down tot he Japanese School for their Summer Festival. It was packed!!! I wonder how the real one in Japan is because theres so much local flavour in tihs that I got abit dissappointed. :/
By the end of the day I knew I really should spend more time with God;s word. I know that I should further study but I dont know what and somewhere in my brain...I keep going back tot he idea of radio broadcasting. Yet I havnt done anything abt it and Im abit scared to.
Need God to dispel my fears by leaning on His love and provision for me. If God is with me, who can be against me? And knowing my God who is rushing to provide for us at the drop of a hat...He will...All thats lacking now..is my consent and my placing my problems on Him.
Tomorrow is Sunday. Day of Rest and dwelling in His love..A day to know Him more :)
Alot of pple asked me how I was doing since my "all hell broke loose" blog entry and just to letcha know. Im fine. Anger and sorrow doesnt stay long w me
Went to the career fair today just to explore my further studying options but nothing much to see really so I got out earlier. Walked around a fair bit before I went down tot he Japanese School for their Summer Festival. It was packed!!! I wonder how the real one in Japan is because theres so much local flavour in tihs that I got abit dissappointed. :/
By the end of the day I knew I really should spend more time with God;s word. I know that I should further study but I dont know what and somewhere in my brain...I keep going back tot he idea of radio broadcasting. Yet I havnt done anything abt it and Im abit scared to.
Need God to dispel my fears by leaning on His love and provision for me. If God is with me, who can be against me? And knowing my God who is rushing to provide for us at the drop of a hat...He will...All thats lacking now..is my consent and my placing my problems on Him.
Tomorrow is Sunday. Day of Rest and dwelling in His love..A day to know Him more :)
Thursday, August 13, 2009
In state of anger...
I'll be honest and sayt hat I dont know if I have hte right to be angry at people but I do have the right to feel angry.
The more I work with teenagers..the more I wonder if the education system in sec sch and pri sch is good enough to teach our future leaders how to be leaders. Im not saying they suck big time. Im just questioning.
then I question whether parents know how to bring their children up to be responsible, considerate and proactive adults.
Because from what I see...4 things are lacking. Proactiveness..consideration, responsiblity and wisdom
I see too many students take the inactive route and I know even without tarrot cards or reading tea leaves..that they will regret their lack of proactiveness..in the long run..they willr ealize just how much their idea of *taking things easy* would be a mirage of what is actually...their inactiveness taking control of their future.
Eg: We can argue alot abt how parents make their children learn tonnes of stuff when they are kids etc...hence giving pressure. BUT 20 years down the road when the children are multi-talented individuals who can come up w their own cds..etc Are the parents still to blame?
If the child was given a choice to learn stuff at a young age and he refuses to because its lesser time for computer games and tv..then 20 years down the road...would he regret not learning at a young age when he sees his idol (same age) on the same tv he's still staring at?
Ive got tonnes of students who cant care to hoots about the future careers/projects etc
Ive got tonnes of students who dont care abt the club they promised to join..dont reply calls..smses..emails...
And thats where I get the most pissed. Because of these *ever-loving souls*...nothing gets done int eh end and the members who are dedicated...take on more work or dont have work at all because theres not enough manpower at all.
So thanks to them..more dreams and goals are dashed..and likewise..i know in my heart that they will regret not taking that chance to hone their skill... By then...I'll have hte last laugh.
MY GOD! IM PISSED!!!
And yet...how pissed can I be when I know I never had the time for them to start with? How far can an officer in charge blame herself? How much am i supposed to let htem do? How much do I have to do myself? Im not depressed or putting allt eh blame on myself but seriously I dont wanna be a hypocrite too.
I have the mind to slap the *dead weights* and tell them to leave. And threaten to close the club....I do...But its unfair to those who did their work.....
WHY DO THE YOUTH NOWADAYS NOT REALIZE HOW MUCH OPPORTUNITY THEY HAVE!?!?!
YOU THINK LAST TIME GOT ALL THIS MEH!?!
YOU THINK EVERYTHING OTHERS DID IS JUST PLAY HUH?!?!
EVERYONE PAID TIME AND ENERGY TO GET TO WHERE THEY ARE LOR!
IF YOU DONT WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE..DONT WASTE MY TIME!
SIMPLE QUESTION OF YES OR NO!
And for the youth that are so much free time to vandalize, criticize, intentionally break rules...
I will laugh on the day you receive the same things. Spend more time on your work and charcter building coz you wont get far with that stuff.
God bless the world and God bless me with patience
The more I work with teenagers..the more I wonder if the education system in sec sch and pri sch is good enough to teach our future leaders how to be leaders. Im not saying they suck big time. Im just questioning.
then I question whether parents know how to bring their children up to be responsible, considerate and proactive adults.
Because from what I see...4 things are lacking. Proactiveness..consideration, responsiblity and wisdom
I see too many students take the inactive route and I know even without tarrot cards or reading tea leaves..that they will regret their lack of proactiveness..in the long run..they willr ealize just how much their idea of *taking things easy* would be a mirage of what is actually...their inactiveness taking control of their future.
Eg: We can argue alot abt how parents make their children learn tonnes of stuff when they are kids etc...hence giving pressure. BUT 20 years down the road when the children are multi-talented individuals who can come up w their own cds..etc Are the parents still to blame?
If the child was given a choice to learn stuff at a young age and he refuses to because its lesser time for computer games and tv..then 20 years down the road...would he regret not learning at a young age when he sees his idol (same age) on the same tv he's still staring at?
Ive got tonnes of students who cant care to hoots about the future careers/projects etc
Ive got tonnes of students who dont care abt the club they promised to join..dont reply calls..smses..emails...
And thats where I get the most pissed. Because of these *ever-loving souls*...nothing gets done int eh end and the members who are dedicated...take on more work or dont have work at all because theres not enough manpower at all.
So thanks to them..more dreams and goals are dashed..and likewise..i know in my heart that they will regret not taking that chance to hone their skill... By then...I'll have hte last laugh.
MY GOD! IM PISSED!!!
And yet...how pissed can I be when I know I never had the time for them to start with? How far can an officer in charge blame herself? How much am i supposed to let htem do? How much do I have to do myself? Im not depressed or putting allt eh blame on myself but seriously I dont wanna be a hypocrite too.
I have the mind to slap the *dead weights* and tell them to leave. And threaten to close the club....I do...But its unfair to those who did their work.....
WHY DO THE YOUTH NOWADAYS NOT REALIZE HOW MUCH OPPORTUNITY THEY HAVE!?!?!
YOU THINK LAST TIME GOT ALL THIS MEH!?!
YOU THINK EVERYTHING OTHERS DID IS JUST PLAY HUH?!?!
EVERYONE PAID TIME AND ENERGY TO GET TO WHERE THEY ARE LOR!
IF YOU DONT WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE..DONT WASTE MY TIME!
SIMPLE QUESTION OF YES OR NO!
And for the youth that are so much free time to vandalize, criticize, intentionally break rules...
I will laugh on the day you receive the same things. Spend more time on your work and charcter building coz you wont get far with that stuff.
God bless the world and God bless me with patience
Sunday, August 09, 2009
Everybody says I sounded depressed.
Yah so Im not depressed...maybe more like stressed. :/
Anyway met up w bestest best bro.
Haiz...you know while the problem is gone....I dont know if the aftermath of the problem has resulted in me losing my bestest best bro too.
Sad really but I can't help it can I? I know I didnt really speak to him face to face but we did chat. Yet I would prob never get the face to face (nobody else) conversations again and quite honestly..I know I shouldnt rely on him for that coz he definitely isnt coming back to stay in Spore. Its gonna be UK from now on.
Its easy to say " I dont know" but I do know.
Its a pity really... :) Coz I know he'd always be the bro I can tell everything too coz we shared a time frame that is relevent to each other even now. Everything I cud complain abt or talk abt now..would not require further background info because he knows who I talk abt.
So looks like id have to admit defeat haha He will always be someone I can talk to but I pretty much dont have a bestest best bro anymore. And once you label someone that, there cant be another bestest best bro hahaha
I guess it was the idealistic and happy go lucky me that thought I had found a best brother to share life stories with.
BTW...Have a student/friend who was commenting that day on not believing how she would ever be attached and be lovey dovey her guy. I say..I know how you feel and my past sentiments exactly. All I can say is that the person you will be with...will be a person whom you can talk to. Even talk to about everything. Even if it sounds funny now.
And so when all words are said and oth of you understand each other so well...then you will have a bond so strong that words dont have to be said to know what he's thinking.
With that bond...and that amazing a relationship..and if the person treats you right..you will get there. Reason why you cant imagine..is because you havnt gotten into a relationship w the person. Babe..take things a step at a time.
Note to BBB: Hey I wanna put your heart at rest that Im past hte problem and I know you are too. The prob now..is whether that prob would have affected our bond. I dont wanna question anymore coz its not fair to you to keep asking you the same thing..it makes it seem as if I was getting insecure ..something only couples should do but not us.
Still love you loads as a bro so while I know I cant see you as a BBB coz I feel my title as a SSS has been removed. I know our friendship was there while it lasted.
This time round, we'll slowly become just friends. :)
As usual my belssings to you and your family. :)
I soo wanna enjoy the weekend!
God Bless
Anyway met up w bestest best bro.
Haiz...you know while the problem is gone....I dont know if the aftermath of the problem has resulted in me losing my bestest best bro too.
Sad really but I can't help it can I? I know I didnt really speak to him face to face but we did chat. Yet I would prob never get the face to face (nobody else) conversations again and quite honestly..I know I shouldnt rely on him for that coz he definitely isnt coming back to stay in Spore. Its gonna be UK from now on.
Its easy to say " I dont know" but I do know.
Its a pity really... :) Coz I know he'd always be the bro I can tell everything too coz we shared a time frame that is relevent to each other even now. Everything I cud complain abt or talk abt now..would not require further background info because he knows who I talk abt.
So looks like id have to admit defeat haha He will always be someone I can talk to but I pretty much dont have a bestest best bro anymore. And once you label someone that, there cant be another bestest best bro hahaha
I guess it was the idealistic and happy go lucky me that thought I had found a best brother to share life stories with.
BTW...Have a student/friend who was commenting that day on not believing how she would ever be attached and be lovey dovey her guy. I say..I know how you feel and my past sentiments exactly. All I can say is that the person you will be with...will be a person whom you can talk to. Even talk to about everything. Even if it sounds funny now.
And so when all words are said and oth of you understand each other so well...then you will have a bond so strong that words dont have to be said to know what he's thinking.
With that bond...and that amazing a relationship..and if the person treats you right..you will get there. Reason why you cant imagine..is because you havnt gotten into a relationship w the person. Babe..take things a step at a time.
Note to BBB: Hey I wanna put your heart at rest that Im past hte problem and I know you are too. The prob now..is whether that prob would have affected our bond. I dont wanna question anymore coz its not fair to you to keep asking you the same thing..it makes it seem as if I was getting insecure ..something only couples should do but not us.
Still love you loads as a bro so while I know I cant see you as a BBB coz I feel my title as a SSS has been removed. I know our friendship was there while it lasted.
This time round, we'll slowly become just friends. :)
As usual my belssings to you and your family. :)
I soo wanna enjoy the weekend!
God Bless
Thursday, August 06, 2009
1st sighting of bestest best bro
So he popped by SP and it was NDOC. Most of the SAA staff were busy at the audi but htey still remembered him. Yeah he was popular.
I was briefing the students when he came up to me and it was like "OOiii!" hahahaha Man! he hasnt changed! Or at least thats what I feel. He's got the same look, same built, no indian tummy (thank goodness) hahaha SAME LAH!
Gave a hug, noting that students were around so the hug could pretty much fit a small elf in between. :) But a hug nonetheless so no hard feelings.
Yeah well Im happy so far because I know that Im pass the stage of letting the past dominate my reactions as much.
We went to teh corner seat to talk and because NDOC was starting..we couldnt talk much.
Much to say but none of which is negative. so rest assured.
It feels like old times! Before the major drama that is. Felt like we were new friends and school students talking abt old times hahahah
After NDOC, Roland Tan came up to me and told me that Pravin was back coz he knew how close we were. :) Thanks Sir. I know . Glad he went to find you too.
Was thinking abt it and wondered why after all these years, Id still have the same urge to tell him abt my life...its not the same with some others in fact but for him its always been the case.
In fact, I now know that out of all those whom Ive spoken to ,made friends with etc..Ive only had this same *telling life story* urge to a small bunch.
Hmmm..
K lah ..enoug lunch break taken
God Bless
I was briefing the students when he came up to me and it was like "OOiii!" hahahaha Man! he hasnt changed! Or at least thats what I feel. He's got the same look, same built, no indian tummy (thank goodness) hahaha SAME LAH!
Gave a hug, noting that students were around so the hug could pretty much fit a small elf in between. :) But a hug nonetheless so no hard feelings.
Yeah well Im happy so far because I know that Im pass the stage of letting the past dominate my reactions as much.
We went to teh corner seat to talk and because NDOC was starting..we couldnt talk much.
Much to say but none of which is negative. so rest assured.
It feels like old times! Before the major drama that is. Felt like we were new friends and school students talking abt old times hahahah
After NDOC, Roland Tan came up to me and told me that Pravin was back coz he knew how close we were. :) Thanks Sir. I know . Glad he went to find you too.
Was thinking abt it and wondered why after all these years, Id still have the same urge to tell him abt my life...its not the same with some others in fact but for him its always been the case.
In fact, I now know that out of all those whom Ive spoken to ,made friends with etc..Ive only had this same *telling life story* urge to a small bunch.
Hmmm..
K lah ..enoug lunch break taken
God Bless
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
My bestest best bro is back! Wohoo!
Instant cheerer-uper!!!
Havnt seen my bro in years lah! Now we've all graduated and got our own jobs etc so life is different but just thinking abt my bestest best bro coming to Spore for awhile is excellent!!
Grandma of all good news given the season!
I do wish I wasnt working and had time to sit and chat w him because it is somethign we've never done for years even. In fact the last time we met up, we didnt chat at all. I guess at that point of time..things were still abit problematic.
I soo wanna tell him abt whats been happening around in school. Bring him on the grand tour..afterall..things have changed drastically in the school.
I know we both still have the passion for compereing and I still tell my juniors abt the event, He, adam and I did. that to me..was the best event I ever did.. :)
Im happy now. :) and the happiness I feel is the type of happiness that has taken me years to achieve. Thing is..there was a point of time where it was very hard to forgive this bro of mine for what he did. It took me a 3 years hahaha but Im past that stage. I always knew that frenship is more precious to us than anythingelse. And while I battled with being the bestest best sis and the ex-friend/sibling...I choose the former and forced myself to work on it. No choice really.
So while i dont exactly know how this time's little reunion would be because of teh lack of contact, I still hope that the "can say anything" bond is still there...cause I know I still have loads to update him about. :) Esp my grannies...
Welcome back to South East Asia BBBro!!
God Bless
Havnt seen my bro in years lah! Now we've all graduated and got our own jobs etc so life is different but just thinking abt my bestest best bro coming to Spore for awhile is excellent!!
Grandma of all good news given the season!
I do wish I wasnt working and had time to sit and chat w him because it is somethign we've never done for years even. In fact the last time we met up, we didnt chat at all. I guess at that point of time..things were still abit problematic.
I soo wanna tell him abt whats been happening around in school. Bring him on the grand tour..afterall..things have changed drastically in the school.
I know we both still have the passion for compereing and I still tell my juniors abt the event, He, adam and I did. that to me..was the best event I ever did.. :)
Im happy now. :) and the happiness I feel is the type of happiness that has taken me years to achieve. Thing is..there was a point of time where it was very hard to forgive this bro of mine for what he did. It took me a 3 years hahaha but Im past that stage. I always knew that frenship is more precious to us than anythingelse. And while I battled with being the bestest best sis and the ex-friend/sibling...I choose the former and forced myself to work on it. No choice really.
So while i dont exactly know how this time's little reunion would be because of teh lack of contact, I still hope that the "can say anything" bond is still there...cause I know I still have loads to update him about. :) Esp my grannies...
Welcome back to South East Asia BBBro!!
God Bless
Sunday, August 02, 2009
tired...
Slept till afternoon...had a headache that bugged me so bad that I finally relented to taking panadol. Yes I admit defeat.
In fact Im pretty much admitting defeat to alot of other things...
Watchdf this korean drama series for awhile...it was gonna end anyway....by the end of the show..I knew that I shouldnt be watching love stories. Not that I dont like them. More like I dont wanna get into the happily ever after dreamland thing again. In actual fact...love isnt as easy as we think.
Went to army market to get the light sticks and ended up at the bookshop w YQ.
Alot of questions on howI would want my life to be next time. What should I do with my life?
I'll be honest and say that my fatigue is not entirely due to long hours...its also mental fatigue and I know Im not good at working from 1 event to another event just like that...and because of that..my stress level never really abates.
So heres my plan...cant really say much cause I cant promise much
- by end Sept..do a recording of 1 of my songs
- by end sept..do a demo tape for radio
- within the next 2 years, go for further studying..part-time
The other jobs I wanna try before I settle down into a job for life
- hosting in the zoo
- hosting outside
- tuition
- radio dj
- theatre/sound work
I know my love for the current job now...is because of my students. Nothing would matter if not for my students. the sacrifices I make are for my students whom I find myself thinking of them as baby siblings that need guidance and I truly love.
How can I not be with them and not learn to love them..everyone of them that Ive learnt to be with..has made me who I am now.
Small shout out to my bros around who might not be having the happiest times. Still here for you bros. Thanks for being there and brightening my day w your nonsense or just tolerating my nonsense. Thanks for tolerating my violent natures. every shoulder I slap us a shoulder well cherished.
To my sistas, thanks for accepting my hugs...not everybody is hug-savvy or hug-conscious but you guys are so hug-able :P
God Bless
In fact Im pretty much admitting defeat to alot of other things...
Watchdf this korean drama series for awhile...it was gonna end anyway....by the end of the show..I knew that I shouldnt be watching love stories. Not that I dont like them. More like I dont wanna get into the happily ever after dreamland thing again. In actual fact...love isnt as easy as we think.
Went to army market to get the light sticks and ended up at the bookshop w YQ.
Alot of questions on howI would want my life to be next time. What should I do with my life?
I'll be honest and say that my fatigue is not entirely due to long hours...its also mental fatigue and I know Im not good at working from 1 event to another event just like that...and because of that..my stress level never really abates.
So heres my plan...cant really say much cause I cant promise much
- by end Sept..do a recording of 1 of my songs
- by end sept..do a demo tape for radio
- within the next 2 years, go for further studying..part-time
The other jobs I wanna try before I settle down into a job for life
- hosting in the zoo
- hosting outside
- tuition
- radio dj
- theatre/sound work
I know my love for the current job now...is because of my students. Nothing would matter if not for my students. the sacrifices I make are for my students whom I find myself thinking of them as baby siblings that need guidance and I truly love.
How can I not be with them and not learn to love them..everyone of them that Ive learnt to be with..has made me who I am now.
Small shout out to my bros around who might not be having the happiest times. Still here for you bros. Thanks for being there and brightening my day w your nonsense or just tolerating my nonsense. Thanks for tolerating my violent natures. every shoulder I slap us a shoulder well cherished.
To my sistas, thanks for accepting my hugs...not everybody is hug-savvy or hug-conscious but you guys are so hug-able :P
God Bless
Friday, July 24, 2009
BLOODY SWINE FLU!!! CAUSE SO MUCH TROUBLE
Aside from 3 pple dying from Swine flu, id like to spend some time to curse the bloody flu that is causing me so much problems.
For 1 thing, Ive got 5 students down because they're quarantined. No its not cause they're sick but cause they're family or friend is sick. So out of my full 20+ strong club..Ive got 5 down. WAH LAO!
Im starting to get stressed again..Poly Forum is tomorrow, concert is tomorrow, bar & billard is tomorrow (but now cant go)...Maung Htun's wedding is sunday (but cant go now), choir is sunday and Snow's birthday is sunday....Another week end burnt
Next sun is Post Burmese New Year Celebration, Day before was lunchshow@moberly and Chinese Cultural Event...amongst allt eh other club meetings and trainings we had...
Next mon is presidents charity thank you lunch, next wed is poly 50 and next next wed is NDOC!!!
Im gonna cry lah! wah lao!
God Bless
For 1 thing, Ive got 5 students down because they're quarantined. No its not cause they're sick but cause they're family or friend is sick. So out of my full 20+ strong club..Ive got 5 down. WAH LAO!
Im starting to get stressed again..Poly Forum is tomorrow, concert is tomorrow, bar & billard is tomorrow (but now cant go)...Maung Htun's wedding is sunday (but cant go now), choir is sunday and Snow's birthday is sunday....Another week end burnt
Next sun is Post Burmese New Year Celebration, Day before was lunchshow@moberly and Chinese Cultural Event...amongst allt eh other club meetings and trainings we had...
Next mon is presidents charity thank you lunch, next wed is poly 50 and next next wed is NDOC!!!
Im gonna cry lah! wah lao!
God Bless
Friday, July 17, 2009
the truth of the matter is..our family isnt perfect.
In my dad's family...there are issues between siblings. I dont know if its small petty squabbles or big unforgiving ones but there is. Even at the wake.
For my mum's side family, at my granny's wake..same. Only Im hoping they're more forgiving..
You'd think that when someone has passed away, that hte family would be more condoing of each toher but maybe when emotions are high, you just cant take the usual nonsense your siblng gives you on a normal basis.
Maybe thats even how it is in a big ass family. It hit me one day that when my dad or mum die..that the number of people who come down would be alot lesser. I choose to think that my parents have their own friends and not just colleagues. And so when they pass away, they'd have friends who come and see them. And not just the friends of my sister and I...
I know Im quite morbid now but Ive only started. And its not that Im depressed. Im perfectly fine. Im only thinking of what might happen in the future. Or rather...what will happen eventually.
Of course when everybody's emotions are high...we just have a higher tendency of being offended by others....
I know my family has an issue with appreciating each other and saying thank you and giving hugs etc...And this lack has built up into every other prob we have that we now have 4 housemates. Each for his own concerns...
Anyway, my granny's wake was 5 days long. every day my grandpa cried, every day my aunties cried. I was to write and say the eulogy but tat only led me to realize how much I didnt know about her. I tried hard not to cry at the podium but at the last word I couldnt say it..tears had broken through.
While walking to the viewing gallery at Mandai, my dad did the worst thing and that was to comment that my pronunciation needed improvement. WTH! U think its compereing ah!!!
I cant say, " thanks! I'll try that again later." At an emotionally charged moment when Im internally grieving for my graandma and you come and tell em that my pronunciation was bad!
Thats the last gift I can give her and you tell me that my last gift was good enough?!!?
If its not good, dont tell me! What kind of a twisted sense of humour is that?!?!
I also wanted to kill the 3 small birds that were in my aunties place. my sis and I were on night duty and the lsat i needed after the shift..was a noisy house to keep me up. I slept in the hall but I cudnt get enough sleep because the bloody birds were making alot of noise! I could kill them lah!
In fact from my observations, my aunties are like the birds..noisy and never listening to each other. Abit like how my family is right now...
SIGH,,,,
For my mum's side family, at my granny's wake..same. Only Im hoping they're more forgiving..
You'd think that when someone has passed away, that hte family would be more condoing of each toher but maybe when emotions are high, you just cant take the usual nonsense your siblng gives you on a normal basis.
Maybe thats even how it is in a big ass family. It hit me one day that when my dad or mum die..that the number of people who come down would be alot lesser. I choose to think that my parents have their own friends and not just colleagues. And so when they pass away, they'd have friends who come and see them. And not just the friends of my sister and I...
I know Im quite morbid now but Ive only started. And its not that Im depressed. Im perfectly fine. Im only thinking of what might happen in the future. Or rather...what will happen eventually.
Of course when everybody's emotions are high...we just have a higher tendency of being offended by others....
I know my family has an issue with appreciating each other and saying thank you and giving hugs etc...And this lack has built up into every other prob we have that we now have 4 housemates. Each for his own concerns...
Anyway, my granny's wake was 5 days long. every day my grandpa cried, every day my aunties cried. I was to write and say the eulogy but tat only led me to realize how much I didnt know about her. I tried hard not to cry at the podium but at the last word I couldnt say it..tears had broken through.
While walking to the viewing gallery at Mandai, my dad did the worst thing and that was to comment that my pronunciation needed improvement. WTH! U think its compereing ah!!!
I cant say, " thanks! I'll try that again later." At an emotionally charged moment when Im internally grieving for my graandma and you come and tell em that my pronunciation was bad!
Thats the last gift I can give her and you tell me that my last gift was good enough?!!?
If its not good, dont tell me! What kind of a twisted sense of humour is that?!?!
I also wanted to kill the 3 small birds that were in my aunties place. my sis and I were on night duty and the lsat i needed after the shift..was a noisy house to keep me up. I slept in the hall but I cudnt get enough sleep because the bloody birds were making alot of noise! I could kill them lah!
In fact from my observations, my aunties are like the birds..noisy and never listening to each other. Abit like how my family is right now...
SIGH,,,,
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Warped theory I know but I'd like to think of it as so
So it seems my granny is a catholic. Im fine so long as something brings her to heaven.
My main concern now is for my grandpa who looks so frail and it really breaks my heart to see him cry....
I must say that the relationship between him and my granny is the most impressive Ive ever seen in my lifetime... If ever I feel motivated that there is something in love...its because I see them...I see how long they've been together...how they still care for each other and how their love has moulded my aunties and uncle intot he people they are today...and the vast diff between this side oft he family and the other.
Supposed to think up a eulogy and deliver it at Mandai...dont know whether Id cry or Id be strong...dont even know what to say...
God Bless
My main concern now is for my grandpa who looks so frail and it really breaks my heart to see him cry....
I must say that the relationship between him and my granny is the most impressive Ive ever seen in my lifetime... If ever I feel motivated that there is something in love...its because I see them...I see how long they've been together...how they still care for each other and how their love has moulded my aunties and uncle intot he people they are today...and the vast diff between this side oft he family and the other.
Supposed to think up a eulogy and deliver it at Mandai...dont know whether Id cry or Id be strong...dont even know what to say...
God Bless
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
I love you and miss you...
I wrote this for the 3 lives I will no longer have the pleasure of sharing from now on...
Im risking copyright dangers to put this on..I do plan to convert this into a song..so Im hoping nobody is asshole enough to take this as their own...coz this means alot to me.
In Jesus Arms
The curtains are down and reality kicks in
To say you;re gone too soon makes my tears swell up again
Every memory of you brings you alive in my heart
So while I cry for the loss of you,
I know for sure we'd never really part
Its only time before I'll see you again
I hope my memories hold up until the end
As far as I can remember, I'll write them down to read
And for others to read after us and learn of who you are to me
I won't know how heaven is till I'm there
But I hope that while we miss you here,
that where you are, you're happy beyond compare
You'll be missing out on everything else that happens as time passes
But I'm sure you'll watch over us from within Jesus's arms.
Its hard to get used to you not physically here
Your loving antics and hearty laughs
It takes alot of energy to accept that you're gone
I know that you're better off within the pearly gates
The aches and pains you suffered on earth would all have dissappeared
I imagine you ascending up, intot he warm bright lights
Touring about heaven with Jesus by your side
Life wasn't just roses & daffodils for you
You had your share of griefs and troubles to go through
I love you and I miss you, really wish you hadnt gone
But knowing you'd be happier....
I'm glad you're now in Jesus's arms.
~end~
Bye Edwin, Bye Ma Ma & Bye Mah Mah
God Bless
Im risking copyright dangers to put this on..I do plan to convert this into a song..so Im hoping nobody is asshole enough to take this as their own...coz this means alot to me.
In Jesus Arms
The curtains are down and reality kicks in
To say you;re gone too soon makes my tears swell up again
Every memory of you brings you alive in my heart
So while I cry for the loss of you,
I know for sure we'd never really part
Its only time before I'll see you again
I hope my memories hold up until the end
As far as I can remember, I'll write them down to read
And for others to read after us and learn of who you are to me
I won't know how heaven is till I'm there
But I hope that while we miss you here,
that where you are, you're happy beyond compare
You'll be missing out on everything else that happens as time passes
But I'm sure you'll watch over us from within Jesus's arms.
Its hard to get used to you not physically here
Your loving antics and hearty laughs
It takes alot of energy to accept that you're gone
I know that you're better off within the pearly gates
The aches and pains you suffered on earth would all have dissappeared
I imagine you ascending up, intot he warm bright lights
Touring about heaven with Jesus by your side
Life wasn't just roses & daffodils for you
You had your share of griefs and troubles to go through
I love you and I miss you, really wish you hadnt gone
But knowing you'd be happier....
I'm glad you're now in Jesus's arms.
~end~
Bye Edwin, Bye Ma Ma & Bye Mah Mah
God Bless
Monday, July 13, 2009
I've lost my other granny....
Im officially left with no more grandmothers....my maternal granny died this morning.
In 2 months flat, i've lost 2 grannies and 1 friend. I pray for my granfather's health because he would be the most devastated in this hour...in these few days...till the casket goes the flames....
Why?
How can I not cry? How can I not feel pain? How can I not be upset? How can I not want to go to God and ask Him why? How? Why?
I can only blame Satan...for taking away so many pple in my life....yet I fear the life ahead when I think about how slowly but surely, Satan will take people I love away.... Its times like these that I wished I wasnt born. Or maybe that I didnt have hte consciousness to care or feel love...
Some say that u wont have lived if u havnt felt love...Id say,,,u wudnt feel pain if you didnt care/love someone....So when u live....u feel pain...its in the contract..
the song I vowed to write...will now be a tribute to all 3 of them...
Deep inside i cant help feel that its something I did wrong....or its a trial for me...
God Bless
In 2 months flat, i've lost 2 grannies and 1 friend. I pray for my granfather's health because he would be the most devastated in this hour...in these few days...till the casket goes the flames....
Why?
How can I not cry? How can I not feel pain? How can I not be upset? How can I not want to go to God and ask Him why? How? Why?
I can only blame Satan...for taking away so many pple in my life....yet I fear the life ahead when I think about how slowly but surely, Satan will take people I love away.... Its times like these that I wished I wasnt born. Or maybe that I didnt have hte consciousness to care or feel love...
Some say that u wont have lived if u havnt felt love...Id say,,,u wudnt feel pain if you didnt care/love someone....So when u live....u feel pain...its in the contract..
the song I vowed to write...will now be a tribute to all 3 of them...
Deep inside i cant help feel that its something I did wrong....or its a trial for me...
God Bless
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Neetz Wedding and Edwin's Funeral
It's a first for me. While I always said that to everything here is a first time, I don't eever want this to happen and Im so not looking at doing it a 2nd time.
Today I celebrate a union of lives and death in a single day... evidently the happy must come 1st before the sad...so I choose to go to the wedding 1st....
I flipped opent he paper today and I saw that out of all those in the obituaries, 2 of them are guys below 26yrs of age. And out of the 2, Edwin's photo stares out at me. He has a twin sister....
I can imagine how it is as a twin, to lose a twin brother would be like losing half of you. the person that grew up with you literally, shared the womb, kicked you around in the womb for a few months, wore matching clothes with you, shared the same birthday cake as you, etc
Even as us friends cry for a live lost, the twin...would feel worse....
And as I type this but I glance back at the photo of edwin ont he papers....my heart breaks again...
I also brought back tot he time my granny died. I didnt read the papers nor did I want to see the body. And like my granny...I dont think I can bring myself to see Edwin in the coffin....
My ultimate consolation is that he is in heaven...and my granny too....
We lost a very talented down to earth, humourous, kind and confident guy.....
As quoted on the obituaries..
Edwin, your cheerfulness will be dearly missed and fondly remembered by all of us.
____
I now am forced to look at life in a clearer perspective. What have any of us been living for in our lifetime. What are we meant to do in our lives?
While some bicker over the simplest things....do they not see that the little things are not worth quarrelling over when you should be focusing on the bigger picture....
God Bless
Today I celebrate a union of lives and death in a single day... evidently the happy must come 1st before the sad...so I choose to go to the wedding 1st....
I flipped opent he paper today and I saw that out of all those in the obituaries, 2 of them are guys below 26yrs of age. And out of the 2, Edwin's photo stares out at me. He has a twin sister....
I can imagine how it is as a twin, to lose a twin brother would be like losing half of you. the person that grew up with you literally, shared the womb, kicked you around in the womb for a few months, wore matching clothes with you, shared the same birthday cake as you, etc
Even as us friends cry for a live lost, the twin...would feel worse....
And as I type this but I glance back at the photo of edwin ont he papers....my heart breaks again...
I also brought back tot he time my granny died. I didnt read the papers nor did I want to see the body. And like my granny...I dont think I can bring myself to see Edwin in the coffin....
My ultimate consolation is that he is in heaven...and my granny too....
We lost a very talented down to earth, humourous, kind and confident guy.....
As quoted on the obituaries..
Edwin, your cheerfulness will be dearly missed and fondly remembered by all of us.
____
I now am forced to look at life in a clearer perspective. What have any of us been living for in our lifetime. What are we meant to do in our lives?
While some bicker over the simplest things....do they not see that the little things are not worth quarrelling over when you should be focusing on the bigger picture....
God Bless
Friday, July 10, 2009
Another one bites the dust...Goodbye Riddler
I got a call this morning before my alarm went off and the usual me, would be very very pissed because it steals off the valuable minutes left before my actual waking up time...
I cancelled hte call thinking its a last minute call for admin help from my student..hoping to explain later in the day that I cancelled her call because I thought it was the alarm.
But when the 2nd call came, I picked it up anyway...
It's a call I would never wanna (in my lifetime) pickup. 1 of my students/friends died.
I dont know how or why but this particular person is so easy to talk to that we soemhow became friends more than student and officer and every moment talking to him was a very interesting one. I can even imagine bumping into him on wednesday during lunchshow. His happy go lucky yet mature outlook in life. And the more I think about this..and how such a nice guy he was....I tear...
I dont know about everyone else but a death alwasy brings you to askt he yourself if your life has been a life worth living so far. Have you lived life fruitfully? Fruitfully being an objective term. If I were to die now...before I die and get a chance to see my life..would I be satisfied with my life? I know I'm not but I am glad I have God with me.
I am also glad that this student is a christian.
It is a life lost too fast but a life that all of us who know him, would remember. The only pity..is that I never got to know him long enough to remember him well enough. even though the emotions I feel at this death..make it seem like Ive known him for a long time.
And even now..all of us, still expect him to call us and say that he was just pulling a prank...
Edwin, its hard to think that you're gone. I value the time shared with you however short it was.
You were amazingly mature, amazingly kind hearted and I saw you as a friend more than a student. I loved your wit and your candid thoughts and I thank you for all you've done for TC.
We had planned to convince you back to be our Riddler because Ethan thought only you would be able to play it..You're love for theatre will live in the students hearts and mine. And as long as we have a heart for drama, it will stay ablazed and stronger by your love for it as well.
Say Hi to my grandma for me..she'll show you around heaven.
We love you edwin....
God Bless
I cancelled hte call thinking its a last minute call for admin help from my student..hoping to explain later in the day that I cancelled her call because I thought it was the alarm.
But when the 2nd call came, I picked it up anyway...
It's a call I would never wanna (in my lifetime) pickup. 1 of my students/friends died.
I dont know how or why but this particular person is so easy to talk to that we soemhow became friends more than student and officer and every moment talking to him was a very interesting one. I can even imagine bumping into him on wednesday during lunchshow. His happy go lucky yet mature outlook in life. And the more I think about this..and how such a nice guy he was....I tear...
I dont know about everyone else but a death alwasy brings you to askt he yourself if your life has been a life worth living so far. Have you lived life fruitfully? Fruitfully being an objective term. If I were to die now...before I die and get a chance to see my life..would I be satisfied with my life? I know I'm not but I am glad I have God with me.
I am also glad that this student is a christian.
It is a life lost too fast but a life that all of us who know him, would remember. The only pity..is that I never got to know him long enough to remember him well enough. even though the emotions I feel at this death..make it seem like Ive known him for a long time.
And even now..all of us, still expect him to call us and say that he was just pulling a prank...
Edwin, its hard to think that you're gone. I value the time shared with you however short it was.
You were amazingly mature, amazingly kind hearted and I saw you as a friend more than a student. I loved your wit and your candid thoughts and I thank you for all you've done for TC.
We had planned to convince you back to be our Riddler because Ethan thought only you would be able to play it..You're love for theatre will live in the students hearts and mine. And as long as we have a heart for drama, it will stay ablazed and stronger by your love for it as well.
Say Hi to my grandma for me..she'll show you around heaven.
We love you edwin....
God Bless
Friday, July 03, 2009
PG rating
So for the past few days, Ive been raving about Transformers 2. Well maybe the storyline isnt fantastic but the humour is excellent. Bumblebee aka B, crying, the big nasty "piece me up" monstor's resounding balls, the female decepticon's long tatilbone and long tongue and the humping robodog/toy truck. If its wasnt a moment of humour, it would be a moment of action.
It was heartwrenching to see Prime die but sooo cool to see the robo jaguar's spine being stripped clean of "flesh" by B. Or Prime putting his fist through the Fallen! Man!
Dont forget the ancient decepticon who changed sides....
This time round, there was more robotic gore and since no red flesh and blood or innards falling out was displayed, it didnt really disgust me. Maybe thats why it was still counted as PG rating. But Ive got a colleague who changed his mind about letting his kids watch because of that. He doesnt want his kids to grow up like us hahahah <*seeing bumblebee pull the spin out of the jaguar*...COOL SHIT!!!! WISH I COULD DO THAT!!> damn...bad! bad! bad!
And speaking of PG rating...i realize a bunch of my students do read my blog...hmmm does this mean I have to watch what i say? Damn! emm..no i meant...Donuts!! Donuts and Fish Fingers!!!
And now that Im getting a tummyache because of the BIG Dinner I had, Donuts & Fish Fingers! Nature big bro is calling me and I dont think I can afford a miss call!
Amazingly enough..a ridiculous point system that i gave to the comperes has become a fun game! Hmmm not good news if I was actually trying to prove a serious point but entertaining to use for reasons otherwise.
And now that the date is decided, next week will be an emotionally grueling week..I want to believe that my God will keep me in the favour of others....
It was heartwrenching to see Prime die but sooo cool to see the robo jaguar's spine being stripped clean of "flesh" by B. Or Prime putting his fist through the Fallen! Man!
Dont forget the ancient decepticon who changed sides....
This time round, there was more robotic gore and since no red flesh and blood or innards falling out was displayed, it didnt really disgust me. Maybe thats why it was still counted as PG rating. But Ive got a colleague who changed his mind about letting his kids watch because of that. He doesnt want his kids to grow up like us hahahah <*seeing bumblebee pull the spin out of the jaguar*...COOL SHIT!!!! WISH I COULD DO THAT!!> damn...bad! bad! bad!
And speaking of PG rating...i realize a bunch of my students do read my blog...hmmm does this mean I have to watch what i say? Damn! emm..no i meant...Donuts!! Donuts and Fish Fingers!!!
And now that Im getting a tummyache because of the BIG Dinner I had, Donuts & Fish Fingers! Nature big bro is calling me and I dont think I can afford a miss call!
Amazingly enough..a ridiculous point system that i gave to the comperes has become a fun game! Hmmm not good news if I was actually trying to prove a serious point but entertaining to use for reasons otherwise.
And now that the date is decided, next week will be an emotionally grueling week..I want to believe that my God will keep me in the favour of others....
Thursday, July 02, 2009
MMmmmm Music
Ive got soo much to blog about man! But this time I'm gonna cast everything I planned to say, aside...for a single topic close to my heart. Music!!!
I dont know about eveyrone but a question I woudl ask anyone is...which do you admire most abt a song? the lyrics? or the music composition?
I know I used to think that the lyrics matter most to me..but I reaalize that what really makes a song stick...is mostly the tune. I mean come on...how come camp songs can stick to our minds so well? Despite how most of us dont like to sing it? (except Yanhan)
I've explored music from various countries and the ones who stick to me most...
Indian, Israeli, Indonesian (rock), Chinese classics, Turkish
Indian: note the carnatic bits where he just goes back and forth on the Sa Re Ga Ma Pa music scale. Btw its very hard for english song singers to sing indian songs well..alot more of throat needed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sH1N6jhKYyY&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M52k--GmLRs (composed by THE AR Rahman)
Israeli: Idan is a bloody good composer! He composes songs sung in Hindi, Hebrew, Ethiopian Lang, French, etc I think its got to do with Israel being a melting pot of cultures. I adore this man and his works!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axCT1a_M0lc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbWxg4asm_A&feature=channel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRTxeOOxtLM&feature=channel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3iG3hNkBAxc&feature=channel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EH6Hs7P2xW0 (Favourite)
Indonesian Rock: Peter Pan. I havent explored Sheila on 7..or is it 5? hmmm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHzWhQPJOYQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGXniVSfSZE&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wsFwsFr3lc
Chinese Classics: Crisp and clearly articulated :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxu8Kxuf-Sg&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYpPfFOEBZo&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlxRMW19qJs&feature=fvw
Turkish: Its got its own mix of hip hop, RnB, Rock genre..sounds very interesting with a hint of its own culture. Their vocals are very throaty too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eetg759xwp0&feature=channel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UoBLgi-dm8s&feature=channel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GWPbUeVP-ig&feature=channel
Of course there's more so here are some other links...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltKg1WacKlk (Massari from lebanon)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOnsB2-o8VU (Massari from Lebanon)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wk670zx0Cg8 (Oceans 13, capoeira part)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGsm3FCCpKQ&feature=related (French Rap)
I guess the most impt thing is..how much foreign music are you gonna open yourself to?
And thinking of this...how open are you to things outside of what you know or believe in?
I had a discussion w a colleague yesterday and I made a comment that she agreed totally..that youth these days feel the need to voice out and vent and just make known their existence by stating their opinion. Eg: blogs. BUT very few of them can feel confident enough abt their opinion and themselves to not feel threatened when people actually take come in to read and leave comments. I guess what I feel is...if you dare to post stuff up, then dont get affected byt eh snide/harsh comments of passerbys. They do that for hte same reason that you started writing/venting to start with. And if you do reply to defend yourself, then you add fuel to the fire. If you're a nice person, your other good passerbys will defend you..better yet. Let God do the judging. Till then, if u want to voice it out, always be prepared to stand firm.
Its a new mindset tat gets worse as the ages go because the younger you are,t he higher tendency of commenting some nonsense on nonsensical stuff...the worst comment is a comment that is not well thought of..or rather one that has no credibility, no sense in it.
K time to sleep my remainding hours. Hope you enjoy the music Ive put in. If you can, search for the lyrics/translations. Helps alot.
Lotsa love to all who bother to come, for good or for bad hahaha
God Bless
I dont know about eveyrone but a question I woudl ask anyone is...which do you admire most abt a song? the lyrics? or the music composition?
I know I used to think that the lyrics matter most to me..but I reaalize that what really makes a song stick...is mostly the tune. I mean come on...how come camp songs can stick to our minds so well? Despite how most of us dont like to sing it? (except Yanhan)
I've explored music from various countries and the ones who stick to me most...
Indian, Israeli, Indonesian (rock), Chinese classics, Turkish
Indian: note the carnatic bits where he just goes back and forth on the Sa Re Ga Ma Pa music scale. Btw its very hard for english song singers to sing indian songs well..alot more of throat needed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sH1N6jhKYyY&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M52k--GmLRs (composed by THE AR Rahman)
Israeli: Idan is a bloody good composer! He composes songs sung in Hindi, Hebrew, Ethiopian Lang, French, etc I think its got to do with Israel being a melting pot of cultures. I adore this man and his works!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axCT1a_M0lc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbWxg4asm_A&feature=channel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRTxeOOxtLM&feature=channel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3iG3hNkBAxc&feature=channel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EH6Hs7P2xW0 (Favourite)
Indonesian Rock: Peter Pan. I havent explored Sheila on 7..or is it 5? hmmm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHzWhQPJOYQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGXniVSfSZE&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wsFwsFr3lc
Chinese Classics: Crisp and clearly articulated :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxu8Kxuf-Sg&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYpPfFOEBZo&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlxRMW19qJs&feature=fvw
Turkish: Its got its own mix of hip hop, RnB, Rock genre..sounds very interesting with a hint of its own culture. Their vocals are very throaty too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eetg759xwp0&feature=channel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UoBLgi-dm8s&feature=channel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GWPbUeVP-ig&feature=channel
Of course there's more so here are some other links...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltKg1WacKlk (Massari from lebanon)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOnsB2-o8VU (Massari from Lebanon)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wk670zx0Cg8 (Oceans 13, capoeira part)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGsm3FCCpKQ&feature=related (French Rap)
I guess the most impt thing is..how much foreign music are you gonna open yourself to?
And thinking of this...how open are you to things outside of what you know or believe in?
I had a discussion w a colleague yesterday and I made a comment that she agreed totally..that youth these days feel the need to voice out and vent and just make known their existence by stating their opinion. Eg: blogs. BUT very few of them can feel confident enough abt their opinion and themselves to not feel threatened when people actually take come in to read and leave comments. I guess what I feel is...if you dare to post stuff up, then dont get affected byt eh snide/harsh comments of passerbys. They do that for hte same reason that you started writing/venting to start with. And if you do reply to defend yourself, then you add fuel to the fire. If you're a nice person, your other good passerbys will defend you..better yet. Let God do the judging. Till then, if u want to voice it out, always be prepared to stand firm.
Its a new mindset tat gets worse as the ages go because the younger you are,t he higher tendency of commenting some nonsense on nonsensical stuff...the worst comment is a comment that is not well thought of..or rather one that has no credibility, no sense in it.
K time to sleep my remainding hours. Hope you enjoy the music Ive put in. If you can, search for the lyrics/translations. Helps alot.
Lotsa love to all who bother to come, for good or for bad hahaha
God Bless
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
9..not the best number for now...
Going crazy....9 clubs is now starting to take a toll on me...
Im not sick or depressed...just...very much tired.
For the past 2 months its been...CCA Drive, Club interviews, Grad ceremonies, FOCs, Granny, FOCs, SPX, Camps, SIWF and the new sch term...sianz..
nothing for now...no time
Im not sick or depressed...just...very much tired.
For the past 2 months its been...CCA Drive, Club interviews, Grad ceremonies, FOCs, Granny, FOCs, SPX, Camps, SIWF and the new sch term...sianz..
nothing for now...no time
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
memories
SPARC & Comperes Camp is on.
Was talking to my students abt how Comperes & Sparcs used to be and it brought back a helluve lot of memories. All good. :)
It also reminded me that my bestest best bro's birthday was yesterday! or rather..2 days ago hehe (past 12am)
I cant even begin to recount my memories in SP..not even mentioning that 90% of em are with my best bunch of friends in Comperes & SPARC.
It also reminded me of my previous relationship which I feel is still a particularly funny one and I recall it with mostly joy and laughters :) the sad part only comes when I think about me not having the same experiences now haha
Even after watching silly romance comedies
But as I always believe...God has someone for me and the person will come or resurface. Im not gonna go back intot he past and miss anyone..or even go crazy over guys coz I know when God sends, he will come. :) He wont be perfect but he will compliment me.
Got a brother i met up with during the weekend and this bro has known me since sec sch. He said my posts sound depressing. WAT!!! Hahahah
He says I always seem like im on the edge then I steer back at the last minute. No I Dont! Ahahaha I'm at safe ground and thanks to God, I know I wont ever go into depression because He is with me and I can always depend on Him to keep me mentally and physically healthy.
I can be near the edge and steer back because Im already on safe ground at the fin and reflecting abt my life.
All I know is as I sing praises to God and see an image of His love for me...my heart is soooo full that I dont need a bf to keep me happy. My Jesus is able to do just that. And I know for a fact that the next guy who I will be with..will have the same feelings for God. God will give me a guy who He has stamped and approved. Amen!
time to sleep!
God Bless
Was talking to my students abt how Comperes & Sparcs used to be and it brought back a helluve lot of memories. All good. :)
It also reminded me that my bestest best bro's birthday was yesterday! or rather..2 days ago hehe (past 12am)
I cant even begin to recount my memories in SP..not even mentioning that 90% of em are with my best bunch of friends in Comperes & SPARC.
It also reminded me of my previous relationship which I feel is still a particularly funny one and I recall it with mostly joy and laughters :) the sad part only comes when I think about me not having the same experiences now haha
Even after watching silly romance comedies
But as I always believe...God has someone for me and the person will come or resurface. Im not gonna go back intot he past and miss anyone..or even go crazy over guys coz I know when God sends, he will come. :) He wont be perfect but he will compliment me.
Got a brother i met up with during the weekend and this bro has known me since sec sch. He said my posts sound depressing. WAT!!! Hahahah
He says I always seem like im on the edge then I steer back at the last minute. No I Dont! Ahahaha I'm at safe ground and thanks to God, I know I wont ever go into depression because He is with me and I can always depend on Him to keep me mentally and physically healthy.
I can be near the edge and steer back because Im already on safe ground at the fin and reflecting abt my life.
All I know is as I sing praises to God and see an image of His love for me...my heart is soooo full that I dont need a bf to keep me happy. My Jesus is able to do just that. And I know for a fact that the next guy who I will be with..will have the same feelings for God. God will give me a guy who He has stamped and approved. Amen!
time to sleep!
God Bless
Monday, June 15, 2009
Granny, Sister & I
So Granny is at rest now. No comments on that.
However before I move away fromt hat topic, I hearby conclude that before I die, I will write a will that also states how my funeral/wake would be done.
1) No slow and somber gospel songs of olden days. Hillsongs or at least happier songs. ESp at the time that the van transports my coffin and the rest of hte family follows behind.
2) No displaying of my body(shell) esp opening it out and throwing flowers in. Its a shell!
3) No preaching of "from dust to dust etc" more on " she is having a whale of a time in heaven!"
I dont need people paying last respects to me when Im dead. Respect should be done when you're. Any later and its fake respect.
Yep..thats it!
So I'll move on to the next entry. dont wanna mix this w the rest
However before I move away fromt hat topic, I hearby conclude that before I die, I will write a will that also states how my funeral/wake would be done.
1) No slow and somber gospel songs of olden days. Hillsongs or at least happier songs. ESp at the time that the van transports my coffin and the rest of hte family follows behind.
2) No displaying of my body(shell) esp opening it out and throwing flowers in. Its a shell!
3) No preaching of "from dust to dust etc" more on " she is having a whale of a time in heaven!"
I dont need people paying last respects to me when Im dead. Respect should be done when you're. Any later and its fake respect.
Yep..thats it!
So I'll move on to the next entry. dont wanna mix this w the rest
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