Christmas!!!

Emm okay to be honest, this christmas was okay. Im not refering to not having presents etc...but to the lack of meaning of christmas...

Also maybe coz Christmas was too short... And it also sucks when the new sch term starts next week....meaning the new year wud suck too.

I guess Im feeling bad for not even reminding myself of why we are celebrating christmas.
Its not just family gathering. Not that my family gatherings were complete.

Its more of the fact that Jesus saved us from our sins and from Satan's hold. Without Him being born to this world...we wouldnt have been saved. its all about Jesus.

Anyway...in a flash...Christmas is over. The 1st day of it at least....but I dont exactly celebrate Christmas on the other 12 days as well..sooo

Hmmm

God Bless

Christmas service..and quote of the day!

Quote of the day first!
WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE....SHOVE BACK!

Christmas service was good. Had tog et to the indoor stadium by 6.45am so woke up at5am
Teared at Mary's Boy Child and Holy Night...
They also did a performance with Lifehouse - Everything..
That song never fails to touch my heart..esp the performance done with it. :)

I realize how hard it is to pass on our troubles to God and let him take the wheel...Its so hard...harder than carrying a heavy box of things...harder than passing A levels, harder than staying awake during service....

If satan is out to get me...he's good at it because he never stops telling me things that make me wanna depend on my own strength to accomplish. If I do so, I knw that I wont be able to get what i need to do...done...only way is to depend on the One who has limitless power...

As I sang the songs today...I would have wanted to throw my heart wholly to God but at the back fo my head, I had a list of things I wanted to do...Like going down to central to see 1 of the student bands perform...like tomorrow's club outing...like next year's lunch performances!

Thinking abt all that instantly tires me out and it scares me...I so need to keep reminding myself to pluck all these problems out and hand them to God..and because Satan chooses to plague me with them again and again ana again....I end up feeling unrighteous because I cant place my problems with God and keep them there! And that tires me more. :(

Nonetheless, I believe my God is an awesome God. I will keep trying..not to throw my probs to him..but to remember that I dont have to do good works and earn his favour before I am blessed. Because I am God's child and as all children..they inherit the blessings of their parents.

3 things for this year that I have handed to God:
1: Favour at work
2: Happiness in Life
3: More Bonded family

God Bless

Christmas time is near....very near..part2

Im in the christmasy mood but im not in the christmasy mood.....does that make sense?

Been thinking of life things this time....

Through this month...had friends talking to me abt finding someone hahaha and the more we discuss abt it, the more I come across as someone who is anti-social, snide, sulky and serious all the time! Am I?
I havnt gotten the time to think back on how I really feel abt certain pasts and whether I really feel like im responsible and guilty abt it..which forces me to close myself up..etc etc...
Wah Lao!

So anyway while everyone feels snuggly and warm together, I on the otherhand revish the get togethers with friends and students but even i cant deny that something is missing. :/
I sorta miss having someone to share christmas with.

Then again while I say all this Im reminded that Christmas isnt just abt sharing and giving..but also abt celebrating Jesus birthday. So I know that regardless of how I feel, I wanna keep in mind that Jesus is the one that deserves the birthday wishes this year and not so much for each other.

Deep inside I know that with faith, the person will come. :)

As for the rest of you who are celebrating christmas with someone or no one special, dont forget the real meanings of christmas....God Bless...

God Bless

Youth

maybe its resentment that causes me to say this...how my life so far has been relatively mundane and most of it very worth remembering...if i think abt it long enough it prob isnt true...

Having come back from camp...despite it being less than 5k away from mainland, Im quite happy to be away from Spore. Not so much because of stress...but because I get to leave Spore...how sad is that....

Thinking abt it...I havnt even been to thailand, vietnam, bangkok, philipines,

I have been to hongkong, china, australia, malaysia, indonesia,

Still i wonder if i day i would be able to step into russia, amsterdam, scotland, israel, greece, rome,

Knowing my warped family..I figure that there would be more years before I could really travel on my own..or with friends..get this..my dad asked for consent form for the camp...I amt he staff bringing them! what consent form?

Haiz...

I soo wanna travel..I wanna see the world man...when will I do that? when Im past 40? when things in me start creaking? Then wouldnt I be like my auntie who goes overseas more than twice a year..to make up for lost time? I dont blame her. Id encourage her.
Or like my mum who now doesnt travel much..even if she cud and even if she had the money...
no prizes for why she wont go....

so many family issues as I await my own time of when Id pluck the courage to let them know that Ive the age and right to fly.

Well as I came back and the reality of coming home and "fun over" dawns on me...I slipped into the poetic mood of writing abt youth but pity I cudnt get a pen and paper ready to harness the mood.

I could dwell on this situation as long as I will it but that would only make me unhappier. Instead I will hand this to God and trust that He will speak to my dad....

You know....its not so much being angry...its more of being stifled...I feel more dissappointment and sad than anger for my situation...I cant be angry because my situation would always be better than others...
My dissappointment comes when we center our behaviour and attitude and mood unto a single person in the family who might not have God's wisdom to harness and put it to good use.

Frustration....

Dont get me wrong....its not that I dont respect family...I do..I dont wanna be mean and I dont wanna be disrespectful....but at times where I cant hold it anymore...I really hope that my outburst will not be lethal...

I know the things I wanna do in life...but not all of them can be achieved if I avoid conflict..if I avoide being honest and candid...I just dont want to hurt feelings..would this be counted as being "too nice"?

I know the best way would be to let God handle this entire issue..and just await the time where I would not be seen as the 12 year old...but the adult..Im not saying that I am very capable on getting around....but everything takes experience and planning...

Abba...I cast this issue in your hands....You know the best time for me to get through to to others and I lean on you for that. I know if it is needed that you wouldbe my mediator and my advisor and that should the time come to be candid..that it would be done in a way that no bad comes out from it.

God Bless

choir, art xhibit, christmas

Choir has been good. been going for practice and Ive been blessed with teh knack of being able to follow the harmony. Thanks to God.
Cant wait for the christmas serving. Will be singing for christmas service and cant wait because I really wanna use that time to glorify His name.
Its such a joyous feeling to be singing praises to Him when I know He deserves it all.
Like Im talking to him or singing to Him straight and He is there to hear it. Which He is.
The problem now is getting over being conscious of forgetting the lyrics and the harmony..and just focusing on singing to Him.

The art xhibition is over thankfully..had abit of confidence prob w that event and screwed up the compereing really...I sucked...that would be the last big event for this year and Im really glad.

Whats left is Christmas...
This year my heart is filled with thoughts of how to make this christmas special...I feel like I need to do it...I felt like Im sooo detached from gatherings, family gatherings, the joyous feeling of celebrating Jesus birthday ( even if it wasnt the exact date) that I want to do somethign special to spread the christmas spirit and I cant afford to wait till its closer to feel the spirit seep in.

Ideas anyone? How abt malacca!?!

God Bless

The start of the hurricane

Sooo...This is the last day before the hurricane. Tomorrow its war against time and anxiety...

As a student we probably dont think much of the events that SP really hosts often because it seems alot easier than it is. Then as you become a staff you realize just how much work needs to be done to pull off a 30min program even.

Maybe we never got it..we never understood, never appreciated until we got into clubs and had to roganise our own and go through allt he stress and swear to never do it again...when we think abt it some events that are done..ahev to be repeated year after year..no point swearing and promise not to do it..you just have to.

I guess the staff of SP do wanna make life fun for students even if they sometimes...most of hte times dont understand...

BUT when is it time to say enough of serving them stuff on silverware...when do we stop? if we are too blind to stop when they dont appreciate it...then have we lost our aim to start with?
have we been doing it for the students or for ourselves?

Think of it in any form of service...even mrt service...
Some people just dont deserve courtesy because they cant get it through their heads.

Well thats me...I guess at times where I know effort is wasted..then why do it?

Which is abt like american film..stereotypical problematic youth who dont study when its a waste of time and nobody would see htem as normal youth...so why not go out and work in watever you can find and just earn what you can...aint it?

Hmm theory....

Been abit mellow on life drive hahaha stepped into my room and looked at my stuff and said.."since when did I build a storeroom...time to clear....but where to start?
So many things mean to me in so many ways...

Also it occured to me that its been 2 years since I wrote a song...rare for someone who always wished she could write her own songs...do inspiration? maybe dont want to do back into emo-ness while I write..and then end up thinking back..haiz...

speaking of past..had a student come to my office today and he was just chatting w me and all which is fine! Then he started asking these qns abt my ex and I hahahah..yeah they sorta know the story...since I came in before the year3s (who know my history) left.
Emmm not feeling sad or what. Feelings are feelings and they will still be there but in lesser amounts so Im fine. :) Just leads me to wonder.."what now?"

guess when you reach a certain age...you ask yourself and others ask you.. "when?"

I choose to say, "when it comes, it comes" I wont rush it or go guy shopping etc hahaha not that i can buy one...but..you get what i mean! I choose to believe that God sends.

And dont tell me abt " God doesnt help those who help themselves" The Bible didnt say that. Benjamin Franklin said it.
In what case..even if it was said in the Bible, the interpretation of it is different because its true that If we dont believe that Jesus saved us and He loves us, then we are not God's children and therefore...as the Bible says..the non-believers will go to hell...
NOTE: Its not that He cant help or that He doesnt help. Its that we dont accept it.
So that line still makes no sense.
New testement says that Jesus came, doed for our sins that we may be righteous in God sight. If we are righteous, we are sin-less..hence we are saved. At the same time...our righteousness obtained from Jesus's sacrifice entitles us tot he blessings that God gives to his righteous children. Blessings include health, wealth, wisdom, length of days etc..all included to make our present lives well to do..not just our days in heaven.
SOO we dont have to do anything but believe that Jesus has saved us and made us righteousness in God's eyes to gain everything we need in life.
Thanks to Apostle Paul.

Problem is...how easy is it to throw your cares unto God and believe that He will take care of all? Those who have lived their whole lives w the idea that no one helps them but htemselves....will find this the hardest to overcome. Like me.

As I head downt he remainder of this week, I pray al goes well and I pray that next week goes by smoothly. I want to cast my cares on Him..so I will try.

Till then, take care

God Bless

multi-tasking

They say women have it..then how come I feel like I dont? Am I more guy than I think I am? DANG!!!

It sucks knowing you have so much to do and yet onyl be able to do some of it in a day...it sucks...

I know I am almost up to my neck with work and i know Im not the very very productive and very very efficient type and so its getting me down abit...okay i admit..alot...

This sucks....

Anywya through the week, Ive had fever and terrible body ache that kept me upt he whole sat night and half of sun night...so I came intot he office looking like kungfu panda...DOUBLE DANG!

So Im not he coolest of people and my anxiety attack is constantly returning these days...

Times like these I know satan is taking advantage of my lack of will power....


God Bless

Stress

At school now....doing work and calming my heart w music...

Christmas is around the corner and its great just thinking abt how after a long struggle of a year..that it would end with Christmas. How wonderful it is feeling the christmas mood and knowing christmas is a time to feel peace and celebrate Jesus birth gatherng w people u love...

Im starting to wonder if I should even be so anxious over meeting everyone's demands... I know as a human, depending on my own power..I cant...its prob just me..but i know my God will give me strength to do it..and I know if I could, I would give in my few sats to do my work too...provided im not too tired...But point is...is it really so impt to cater to everyone's needs?

Its making me confused abt my priorities...

Was at Esplanade recently and the outdoor place is done up so nicely thatt he steps are almost aligned witht he water surface and the lower i go down the steps, the more i feel i could really do a simon peter. walk on water i mean.. Coolness.

Borrowed my friends camera and started to shooting ridiclous things... Hmm makes me feel like i could look at anything from a different point of view

God BLess

God's word...

Its a battle..the more I know God's word and how Jesus has given us his peace and power to be kings and queen of this world..the more I know Im not...and somehow...the more I feel Im being attacked my Satan and his devious plan to steal me of my peace.

Its like the more I believe that my God can pull me out of the anxiety I feel..the more Satna tries to pile on more things for me to feel anxious about.

Chances are Im not the only one who feels it. Everone who knows that Jesus has died for our sins and cleared us of our evil doings.. that we dont have to keep thinking of redeeming ourselves to anyone by our own deeds.... also might be feeling the same way.

Its not meant to scare christians away from God. Personally...knowing my rights as a christian..of everything Jesus has done and provided me...all the more I want to fight on...

The best thing about my God..is that we prepares the armour for us. He is also stronger than Satan..alot stronger. So my prob now is having the faith that I have this armour on and I have Jesus word so I can daringly step out to face the problems...

Yet something inside me keeps arguing and asking myself " Why do u work so hard? Or You caant cope w this! Why did they give you so much to do? or How come you just dont get the idea of time management?"

It just occured to me that the answer I give to the question, "why do u have 9 clubs?" shuld be because...."God wants me to bless their lives"
"Why do you have so mnay events?" is "Because God trusts that my blessings will overflow and make the event successful"
All I need to do now..is believe that I am a blessing!

Its alot harder when you are blinded by problems. :/

Dont let Satan plague your heart with condemning things too. The moment you think that you are too fat or you;re too short or that you;re not good in something..its most prob satan going "uhuh uhuh! Bingo!"


God Bless

Birthday bash!

Steps to giving a surprise party

1) make sure the person is not there
2) get manpower and fellow conspirators
3) choose your materials wisely and take into consideration the earth (reduce reuse recycle)
4) garner support from public
5) choose a fast and efficient way to excute the surprise
6) be spontaneous with ideas
7) sit back and wait for the resounding "Oiii"
8) for more fun...get a small gift but put in alot of stuffing

Happy Birthday Helmi! (pics come later)

end of the day

Im sooo pooped! Sports Day, lunchshow..worrying abt other events too....im soo damn tired...

Its wed and Im sooo tired and I need rest but im too tired to get off my chair and go home....

Had event after event today and at times i felt soo bad that I cudnt attend some fo them...

I know im being random here but it comes a time when I feel like i have to express somethign but I either dont know what to say or cant say it..hence Im left with realy lame random comments, recycled and reworded...

I do know that for the past few days..Ive been having migraines...

For the past few days.been also having relapses of..reminiscing. hahaha dont worry i dont go into a deep sorrow its more like a small sore spot :P...i think this is something people go through all their lives :)

So my desk is messy now..papers everywhere and phone calls left and right :P

K gotta go. legs aching and all. Love yall

Mon blues

Sun night I was turning and tossing in bed...somehow after watching Lust.Caution, I felt disturbed. Not by the fact that it was an NC16 movie..for blatant reasons...but its meaning..

How far do you go for your own ends or for the country..that you would sacrifice a friend? How far would you as teh friend...go for you? Why? because of country too? or because of you?

When you're in too deep..which side do you take? The cold ruthless good side? Or the loving evil side?

In life.. we always have to take sides...in this movie..the lead was the slave of both sides...so when u have evil on both sides? take the lesser evil.

Been fighting w faith and satan these few days...i feel liek i need to take control of my life when i know I need to leave things to god at times because worrying adds nothing to our stature...

Plus my faith still doesnt seem to work...my prayers even and i dont know why... I know this journey probably seems easier than it feels so maybe im not getting it...when i get there..i know that when i look back..id know how easy it is...

Anyway..every beginning of the year..Is et goals for myself butt hey never work coz i always forget them...trying man! trying!

I guess these days i still feel like I havnt gotten my life straightened out....I feel liek in my life I have soo much clutter that its getting hard to find my way or my aim...
I bet Im not the only one who thinks that but alot of them can still afford to buy time and stall and hide that fact. Alot of us even dont do what we want and end up in jobs we mumble about all day.. as if someone took to us w a knife and made us sign up for it.

Im lost now..feeling quite lost.. feel like wanna take 2-3 days off to think through..

In fact been thinking abt my past soo oftnet hat im getting demoralised by it hahaha bad ning! bad bad ning!

The end of a great birthday...

I told you how great i felt during birthdya and how (in a long time) i actually felt that i wanted the birthday to last...i think the past few days have been a harsh truth that birthdays dont last.

Today's lunchshow was wet...cats and dogs wet...we had a lunchshow for less than 70 paxs because it started to pour...and it continued to pour like hell. That drenched my day...

Then i had alot of meetings and trainings to go to that i was running arnd the whole day. only time i got to sit down at my office was...8.30-10am

I also got heartbroken by comperes. I admit im putting too much emotions onto comperes that my relationship with other clubs has never even been established...Im really bad at this...

For the past few trainings for comperes...I felt like the members werent committed...I felt that I didnt have their committement at all...except for a small group...
Im dissappointed...heartbroken...angry...betrayed...
Ive heard of club members wanting to quit but their making me want to quit....
They're making me want to scold them and shout at them and holler vulgarities at them..thats how vexed I am!

I think Im throwing in soo many ideas that I feel only I want to do it..everybody else things its a load of crap....

And the best part of all this!?!?! I feel like im whining like a teenager now! F!

Im soooo emotional abt it that Im tired out!

Im sooo tired! Im drained!

...................................

Halloween Nite

Met cal, edwin, naz for my birthday dinner at wala wala, only to realize that it was more than just 4 of us. Snowlin, arisya, Nabila, Khay, Ian, Ian Dmat, Deborah, James, Stephen, Amily..all came.

It was fun. :) I was really touched.

The highlight of the day was watching EIC perform. The lead guitarist was GOOD!!!! Im sooo impressed! He was dressed as a nerd on that day and that made his performance even more impressive! The way he played those rock tunes! His solo bits! Damn!
The bassist was jimi handrix and Rai (plays the chords) was dressed as Speedy Gonzales. Their frens came dressed as a dead soldier and a sanitary pad. *shrugs* go figure.

I got sabohed (as i expected) to go up and sing..and to sing by EIC...was like a huge honor and we did "I will survive"...i was sooooo nervous...i still shook 3omins after the performance.

AND that night ont eh way home, i felt sooo embarassed and disappointed w myself on how badly i did that song! If i thought anymore, Id get nightmares abt it!

Im really touched by allt he things my frens and students and family have done for me this year and Id say that this is my best birthday ever. :) I may have sounded or looked like I didnt want it..but its because i never felt htat birthday are meant to be celebrated by others..they dont have the duty to do it at least..so I dont bother telling people nor do i organise birthdays for myself. But i do like to plan surprises for my frens.

Cant wait to get the pics!

Today was another packed day. went to sch for SPARC ceremony, went to mandarin gardens to celebrate Gong gong's birthday, then went to esplanade for Avenue Q (which was really really funny!) and then raced to NP for NP ISC intl nite.

Im glad its only sat but i miss my birthday already. Think I could watch EIC perform forever haha

K I would love tot hank all who remembered my birthday. Ever wish counts and makes me wish I was there for you guys as much too. Thanks and God bless you and keep you safe & healthy in all ways!

God Bless

My Birthday

Fwah!..I survived 5 cakes, 1 monkey & handmade card, 1 ice cream brownie, 3 surprice attacks, a lot of hugs and a roar of cheers!

I dont think Id ever forget this day, this year.

Lunch was a good salmon sandwich and ice cream w brownie at ben & jerry's

5.30pm: my comperes invaded my office with a cake and 3 big candles. I fed all of them cake since there werent too many pple

8.00pm: my ISC ended the meeting with a surprise attack at FC5. They woke everone at FC5 up with loud cheers and the ISC cheer! Made me feel like everyone at FC5 was cheering for me.
Got a present and a beautiful selfmade card and cut cake for everyone.

8.45pm: surprice attack by a sista with chocolate banana cake, smoked slamon sandwich and roasted beef sandwich

9.30pm: went to friends place because they had a gathering for me. 1 cake

11.15pm: Family prepares hte last cake for the day, but im still burping on the past 3 cakes.


What can I say? Im blessed! I havnt been the best of friends or officers but yet they took the trouble to do all this. Im really touched and this is in fact he 1st time I wished my birthday never ends.

I know I wasnt int he most excited moods but I never was when its my birthday coz I never felt like it was something worth people's effort to celebrate..even if i wanted it.
So this year's 5 celebrations...was beyond me.
I didnt really tear but I was touched. I didnt know what to say..i dont really know what to say at all in these times..except maybe..Thanks for doing this for me...thanks for all this. u didnt have to get a cake but u did anyway and I totally appreciate it. Thanks for being here to celebrate for me. Thanks for your well wishes and thanks for your hugs.

Thanks guys! Thanks sooo much!

God Bless!

sunday lazy day

I think I need to get my drive back. Somwhere in me is a Ning who hasnt spoken for a long time...she has been lying dormant or subdued for awhile and every once in awhile..she pops up to ask the question I havnt asked myself often. "is life all that it is now?!?!"

Im at Obriens now, had lunch..been reading one fo my christian books (alot fo them unread) and I felt sooo at peace just reading them. How good is that!!! How good is it to feel at ease..

Yesterday, took a pic w Gurmit Singh at mediacorp for the new tv show he's hosting. :) I respect him for his talent! And as I sat with my comperes and we watched in awe at hte host...I turned to my student and said, "that is your goal"

Im tired today. And seriously feel like taking a break....maybe take leave again..hmmm

I may sound scary now...but i long to see God's image now...(its doesnt only happen when u die u know) and hear God's voice and personally hear Him tell me what to do with life...

K batt running flat. LOve all!

God Bless

In the mood for dissappointment...

Okay well as I look throught he things i have to do today..I felt abit clastrophobic.

I think alot of them i brought upon myselfs and I could kick myself for it. I think Im trying hard to get certain things done but I know I cant do it alone....yet..its getting harder to push people to do things....I might just give up really....Maybe Im too ambitious..maybe I should let he students work it out themselves...the sink or swim method.

I know other clubs of mine warrant more fo my attention...

Hmm Yes I do feel down...

God Bless

emm depression

You know how you are mostyl with pple younger than you and you;re so used to being the big sister. You feel that you ahev to be strong for them all the time and the provider of wisdom etc...

Then when something in you breaks loss and you're self defence breaks down like 1 of the 12 apostles in Australia...you feel like you cantturn to them because you dont want them to see you as anythign else less than the big sister?

Or that you've always been the smallest and others treat you like you dont really know much and you're just being silly that you dont feel like you could confide int hem when you have problems coz they'd only (once again) deem you as silly?

Yah today felt like it...

I snapped when just one careless and insensitive comment flew at me...a comment that has always been used but for the 1st time in a long while, I took it to heart and I felt so unjustified...
Then it started playing games w my head and instead of feeling unjustified, I actually felt like I cud have been as useless as the comment implies...something that if I dont carefully psycho myself out of...would result in a session in the toilet with a mountain high of tear drenched tissues and red eyes.
Guess wat...it did happen.
So ont he way home...I felt the idea of furthur studying was tempting...so tempting...something Id fancy doing to force myself into independence.

I threw the idea at my sister and the wordsd she used, "if you're onyl doing this to run away..its a waste of money" amongst other words.....
Come to think of it (here i go thinking again) I might just have wanted to run away.....
Running away witht he legal right to come home.

As I stayed in the toilet for awhile....all sorts of comments, self depreciating comments flew into my mind...but 1 thing I really needed at that time...was God to say something. Anything really...just something. If there was any other time for God to say my name...it was NOW.

Not that I dont believe Him. Its precisely because I believe Him that I wanted to hear Him...

Alas...the resounding voice of God didnt come....instead a calm "it" inside of me reasoned w my emotional side. Maybe its God working his words in me to comfort me...maybe He chose to speak to me in that way instead of the resounding "Ning"

Im still sad...but Im more tired than anything....

Alot of times..I feel like everybody else is living the lives they want when its not true...we all have our downs..it really depends on how down we let ourselves go. Do we immediately fight the tides to go back to mainland or do we ride the tide and watch as we twirl into the centre of the whirlpool..into whats below? The further we go in, the more strength it takes to get out.

God Bless

friday and saturday

friday was ISC AGM. I had fun and I was happy but I was also abit sad because the fact that the year3s were leaving soon was hitting me. The more i think abt the year3s being my 1st bath of year1s and how they've grown....the more I feel the sweet and sour.
All of thejm are dear to me and I wisht hemt he best but also know that ISC would eb very different without them. I am soooo proud of them and how far they've come! And osmetimes I feel liek Ih avnt bene there enough.
Of course I would love to be with them alt he time becauxse they're such nice people to be with...fun and spontaneous...but I cant because my work doesnt allow me to.
As we took pictures, they sang, " Shi Shang Zi You Ma Ma Hao" which isnt the right song for me but at that point I guess i didnt cared. Everything that I have felt or doen for this bunch..the late nights etc....worth it.
I wonder abt he juniors. how they will fill the big boots of this batch.
Because I think deep down..I dont think Im doing a good job at leading these students...God help me. I need His wisdom!

Saturday (Today) met my sec sch friends or aka sistas for breakfast. Pity we couldnt get all 4 down but Im happy with what we have. Its good to have a small reunion even if it means breakfast only. To talk abt how we're doing now etc.

I go home and my dad gives me a one-liner that shws he's not happy that I went to have breakfast.

So Im between feeling happy with the prized gathering and irriated that my dad is this way. Somehow I feel he doesnt realize that every person has a time in their lives where they want to be with friends or want to go out and explore. And if tis not done in a young age then its done in the older age but it will be done before someone focuses on this family..if not they havnt lived

Its times like these that I could feel condemned and it sucks. I guess its true..the more critical you are of yourself, the more self condemning you are, the smaller a person and the weaker a person you become. Like in my JC years and my last year of Poly.
Its harder to get out of this pithole than it seems...

I guess out fo all this I should thank God for being there for me. Providing me witht he skills to lead and providing mee with the strength and courage to believe in myself...

pic at the abseiling during leadership training camp

Me on right. Took my own sweet time. :)

make up for lost time

i had such a revelation during today's church service. Sooo much was learnt! The best thing abt the bible is that regardless of the diff in time..teh writers still said teh same things in their different books. For those that dont know, the bible is made up of different books written by differnt people. dating from the start of earth till years years years later..books by the diff apostles before, during and after Jesus died.

Todays sermon was the signs of armagedon. How the 4 horsemen who will cause chaos int he land are alined with how the tribes of the children of israel set camp around the temple of god while they wondered int he wilderness.
And how the standards (flags) of hte diff tribes are alined with the different face/characters of God and how these standards all represent Jesus and Jesus is the conqueror of all the horsemen, hence conqueror of all our troubles, hence whoever believes in Jesus and has Jesus in the midst of him (like how the temple of God was in the middle of the tribes...) would never have to fear of oncoming troubles, but sit at the table of rest that God has prepared for us and watch Jesus defeat our enemies one by one.

So enriching! I have soo many christian friends from diff denominations and somehow I felt that if they weere there w me, they would see a wonderful side of Jesus that they have never met before. How can u deny this message when it shows evidence in the old and new testement? How can you deny christianity when even achealogical evidence shows that it exists!

Im not upset...Im just to blessed by today's message that I wished I cud speak it out to others! I walked out fo church full with happiness and gladness and belief that my God is alive, watchign over me and keeping guard over me!

Another things Iw anted to share..is a personal revelation. Dated back during my leadership training camp...we had to jump off this tree branch into the water. It seemed sooo easy but when I got on it, I shook...I was soo scared and I really had half the mind to get off but I pushed myself. It only helps alittle knowing that I wont drown because the water is shallow or that I had pple watchign me...the prob was taking the step. the prob was jumping..was jumping and fearing that Id lose my balance and end up *in the weirdest way possible* breaking something something. wat if wat if wat if?!?!?!
I jumped anyway...for a sec, abandoning the fear and throwing myself into the water and as I went down, "wth! stop! no!"
As I look on things I plan to do or want to do...I have the exact same fear..the leg softening, heart thumping fear and the absolute hesitance of not doing it because its more convenient...
Im glad I didnt give up. im glad I jumped again...to conquer my fear another time. Indeed I was still scared on the 2nd try....same goes for abseiling and rock climbing...maybe nervous or scared.

I guess in all this, Im more determined to enjoy life and not let myself be dorwned by worries at work or devils cunning ways of psychoing me into being self condemning. I want to get my life back from him and put it in God's hands.

Lastly...as I heard today's msg I was happy of the security that I have inherited as God's child..and of how wonderful heaven could be. But I was abit scared thinking of how my non christian friends would be. Its daunting and grim but its true.
I want soo much toget them saved...to let them know how loving a God we have. Note: WE! meaning even those of you who are unsaved..have a God..the same God...only thing is to acknowledge and believe in Him...

So I extend this invitation to all! I want to bring you to my God. It takes very little to step into the church to hear but hear with an open heart. No strings attached.

You wont know how happy God will be to see you at church and if you really listen on that 1 session at church....that will be all that takes to change your mind. I believe that my God can cure the sick so he can definitely do change your heart within seconds. If by the 1st session and your not convinced..then you dont have to come again if you dont want to.

I wont force you a second time. I wont force you to go again and again. its your choice but I will speak fo God to you again..not to persuade you or bug you...but because I feel happy speaking abt Him and I want to share that with you!

:) My God is an awesome God! Jesus is beautiful!

God Bless!

Leadership Training Camp

Am back froem a super long trip.

We stayed in a dingy hut for 4 people where the walls and floors were all made of wood and mattresses on the floor were covered with dead bugs and other black things.

No matter, had a groundsheet. Also had something to act as a makeshift sleeping bag.

Thank goodness there were no mosquitoes because that is what I hate most!

We did waterfall abseiling which was uber uber cool! You could stop in the middle of the waterfall and lift your head up for a shower. The waters beat against your legs!

We did abit of caving too and this time, we went of the normal track and really explored the caves! Jumping through holes and sliding off walls, into super tight and super low tunnels..etc
Uber cool too!

Lastly..white water rafting! Our guide was insane and I got thrown /pushed into the water! Thankfully Im not waterphobic anymore. In fact all that jumping off stuff in the cave and jumping off branches into the water during kayaking, I'm more confident! Wah Lao! I got onto the branch, looked down and shook my head saying, "shit! What didi get myself into? I wanna get down but I cant....Oh man this is gonna be a slow ride..."
But I did it in the end w the guides playful help..haizzz...

Im glad I took all those risks and not be overwhelmed by fear..

Alot of other stuff I did but the 1 thing Im proud of most..is being able to gel with the students. ;)

God Bless and Im happy to be back

comperes training!

for the past 2 days, the comperes have had training for audio and compereing skills.

im quite happy and anvious fot he comperes getting training from rush (doing audio skills) and jeremy ratnam.

dont know if the comperes know how fortunate they are to have all this training! All the tips that Jeremy gave we're things that the seniors and I wanted soo much to impart to the juniors! In fact because allt hat he's said are thigns that Ive learnt from experience and things I feel, I felt reassured that I was on the right track as an advisor and officer in charge to comperes.

As for SPARC, I know I should do more with them. :/ more time to learn...

God Bless

Bleap BLEAP bleap! Pizza Hut taught me a lesson...

Rushed home for swimming lessons at home. before i left the house, my dad decided to call for a pizza...

I came home expecting to see a pizza but it wasnt there...I showered and came out hoping to see a pizza...it wasnt there...

So what my mum cud have done which was to call pizza hut..15mins ago...she didnt...And the moment I came out, she kept asking me to call them. Maybe she's scared to call, maybe she just doesnt wanna be the one doing it, maybe she feels someoneelse should be responsible for it and not her...I prefer to think the former one is the real answer...technophobia...

Why I think so? Coz despite having a handphone, she makes me call pple and she asks me for people's numbers...I have a feeling she doesnt really know how to use her phone....despite having it for 2 or more years...
Also despite having a watch..which she instantly takes off when she reaches home, she keeps asking me for the time.
Technophobia...

In my opinion..she also thinks that alot of things can simply be solved by"piling them up nicely" which I so definitely beg to differ.....in fact she says that when she wants me to do something...or feels I should have done something. "just pile nicely then it wont drop lah!" Aside from that she complains abt alot of things but never does anything to solve it...this is for things that are not housework based because the 1 thing I admit she is good in..is she helps us witht he housework..smething I admit Ive been pampered by. So what she comes across as not something she is used to doing daily...she find difficulty in it.
Did I also mention that she asks questions before she starts thinking of an answer? Something along the lines of...seeing me walking out of the main door and asking me, "you going out huh?"
Those "DUH" moments. Not stating her real life eg...just something that shows you what i mean.

Hence I diagnose...technophobia

As for my dad who made the order...I dont have much to say...my dad has his problems and i cant blame him for wat i myself cant overcome. Im trying hard not to feel a slight hostlity when he comes near. Im trying and God will help me.

And back to my main topic. What I learnt from this experience is how flawed my parents can be and how anal I am abt it. Im calling myself anal because I know its my fault...
But going back to my anal opinion...I felt that with all the time my parents have lived and heard instead of listened...they've grown up getting abit deaf. Im not saying this with any exaggeration. Indeed my dad is abit deaf but due to his cancer..and my mum..has become abit deaf too. dont know why but she herself acknowledges it..yet both dont do anything abt it...not in denial but in acceptance.

And yet...they dog us(sis and I) around for a million things that they themselves dont practice..which makes me the anal daughter I am.

I know that at this point, my relative who even reads this...deems me the unfilial daughter but quite honestly....Im not proud of what Im saying....nor do I feel its right for me being anal...

What I truly wanna learn from this lesson...is get myself used to them and being able to tolerate them and not turn nasty or impatient..and in the long run...preventing myself from becoming like them...physically or mentally or psychologically.

I admit..my family is not the best family..in fact its so flawed thatteh only thing that would ahev kept me good...is my relatives, my religion and the fact that they are still married.
If u ask me if them keeping their marriage together is good..it is good because any kid would mentally pretend their family works...idealism...self assurance or just plain.."we are one happy family"

Its a gray line....life is a mess of grey lines.

God Bless

Dang it!

The horrors of a pic like that that shows my muscular side. DANG! Loads of thanks to the sound guys knowing their not exactly very satisfied w the long wait. Thanks guys..if you even bother to read this hahah betcha wudnt.

So the event went well....with eugene getting a mini fan club. he's even got a stalker! They remember his name! By the end fot he 2nd day, Alia and eugene improved alot. A Greyscale theory also did very well :) Kudos to their performance that brought smiles to the dmat students faces for good reasons.

I for one am proud and possibly envious of eugene and alia. :) They got media coverage, photos, got blogged abt and etc. Im really proud that they tried so hard even though somestimes its abit frustrating. Comperes always have the tendancy to ramble off..no matter how quiet we are.

Im glad my advice I gave helped..maybe a little..after all everything else is dependent on whether they take the advice. I feel like I wanna teach them all Ive learnt but its quite hard to put it into words at times...

Anyway the event ended well. ;) Thats what an event should be.Thast how every emcee should feel at the end of the event. Thats what I miss now..I miss it loads....

Sat, had my sign language class... takes 2 lessons to finish the 1st level and we ended class w a silent graduation. Our "cher" spelt out our names using sign language and we all walked up, received our cert and signed "thank you"
Seems quite boring but its quite an interesting experience. Arent you curious to find out how hands can speak thru signs? When you watch someone sign, you will notice how much body language and facila expression is put into all they say and hte more excited they are the faster they sign. So imagine someone with an excited expression and his hands running off like a freight train...wudnt you wanna know what he's saying?

Plus, really wanna use it for my students..comperes at least..I feel its useful. really... Is so hard to give cues when you they cant read your lips..or hear what ur saying. sign language enables you to get he msg despite the distance.

This has spured me on to learn more. :)

You despite all this knowledge I think I have...I still feel liek i cant make it in the compereing world...sigh..maybe I should eb the platform to lift my students up..despite my own inabilities

:)

God Bless

kids these days..

I know I might get shot down by this but the students i have are definitely not the kind Im talking about. Lets say Im blessed...

Aside from them (who are mostly intl students anyway) Im starting to wonder if kids these days are just so fickle minded and irresponsible and inconsiderate...k maybe not all kids are like that but Ive had my share of 1-2 of them this week itself and I sorta wonder how they came about? Which factory did they come from?
If the nasty me kicked in, Id be askng why they werent labelled defective...nobody did a QC issit?

..Haiz...

my colleague and I are so damn pissed with students who think they are hte jewels of the world and blinded by their arrogance and snobbishness...its a small handful but its still there and despite the smallness in number...their strong stinch permeates the air and affect everyone.

I am dissappointed. Many would say, dont let a small ignorant fry affect you...he's only 1 person...maybe its just my nature. Im hoping these small fries dont work together and grow in numbers. then again..thinking of it...if they all work together..they'd cancel each other out hahaha

K enough bitching today. every body has a bitch feast once in awhile..its human's flawed nature. We suffer needlessly at times and need time to vent and our evil selfs materialize for that few lines..this would be my time...

Another Id like to say...knowing its already over yet I still need to say it...we (my colleagues and I) as admin staff but nonetheless still student developers, dont get the appreciation we deserve. K even if I dont get it...doesnt mean my colleagues dont. I always thought that everyone is a teacher to someone. If so..teachers day is celebrated by all. I guess everyone wants abit of "thanks" once in awhile....but we dont often hear it. Despite this..dont get me wrong and interpret as " without thanks why work so hard?" NOOO
Everything we do...we do for a greater reason than recognision...we do for a personal fulfillment of seeing our "kids" grow. YEt..thanks would be good once in awhile.

God Bless

IF ONLY....

I starting to learn 1 lesson...."if only"s dont help.

We go through like doing things too late, to soon, we make choices on what to do or not to do and how to do it etc..and when something goes wrong...the 2 words apprear.."if only....."

If only the sky was blue, the grass would be green too
If only I told you what to do, we'd have less problems to go through
If only Id expected teh unexpecting expectations..Id expect more from you
If only Id not not done what I did or didnt do.

Sian.....pissed...sian sian sian..not gonna like tomorrow...

God Bless

thurs! One more day!

nothing to say..just frustrated....grrr...let me not flair up...

faith battle again...

Im stuck in a situation where I feel like I cant do single thing but wait and its frustrating....

I could really kick myself for the lack of meticulousness which has caused so much problem. Im struggling so hard not to really strangle my students or even scream at them or scold them. Im trying sooo hard!

At the same time..I also feel like Peter who is looking at the waves as he tries to walk on water...or like Noah who is tumbling around in the ark and seeing the thunder and rain and possibly wondering if the rain might seep through or break the ark...maybe?

The faith battle now revolves around me trying to have faith in the Nargis issue being solved by friday but why do I keep feeling like Im fighting a losing battle and Im fighting alone?

Im not ready to admit defeat but Im trying hard to stay calm and focus on Jesus....yet in my head..a thosand voices keep telling me "what if", "you should have" and "why dont you" and "its all your fault" or "you need to push them"

Im tired....

Got a debriefing this sat...hope my frustration ends by then...if not I might say things that might hurt....if i do...I'll regret...

Jesus, give me strength to believe that my battles are won and the devil is only trying to hide the truth from my eyes...and distract me from what is already done

God Bless

Fight your fears! Swim!

Had my 1st swim class last thur! Normally Id be abit kancheong and hesitant when it comes down to trying new stuff but so far I havnt backed out.

Was sooo nervous on thur! Like how are allt he other waterbabies gonna see me (20+ tall broad shouldered woman trying to learn how to swim from a small pint-size pixie) Hows my instructor gonna see me? Alas the 1st class was cool!
Yes Im still ont he shallow end but Im trying! can float abit...cant kick to get anywhere though...

Cant wait for my next class! This thur! Everyone Ive told (abt my fear of water int he past) has asked me if i shower...OF COURSE LAH DAMMIT! That was last time! Everyone Ive told abt me taking swimming lessons...hae replied with a common reply," u cant swim!?!"

My aim of swimming still seems abit far because I still dont think i can survive in the deep end...as my sis said...no buoyancy..Im inclined to think teh same of myself at times but I'll persist! I'll persist so that I can enjoy the plays of the sea and and seemingly clean body of water at least.

1 more step for Ning!

Did I also mention swimming is also a full body workout?

My colleagues have also gone into a frenzy of doing sports..not to mention the new member into the family..Jacob....We're gonna do rock climbing, rollerblading, swimming, abseiling..etc! Wohoo!

I feel sportier! Look out Tao Li! Look out Phelps! Muahahah

God Bless

Stentorian is 1 of my current favs

Well if you read my recent blog entry..you'd know that Ive got this thing about Stentorian. I was a critic during the performance but they're good, better than the rest..Them and SPONge are good. the best are the lead vocals. They are good looking, stage presence and all. :) drool...

K well that was abit of me that seldom appears..hehe the same bit that i downright deny but as men look at women..I look at men sometimes...not in an overzealous way yah..God taught me control and censorship hahaha

Yep...sooooo...emmm...right back to the regular me :P

I think for the last week, I had a bout of reminiscing..not good in this case because I was thinking abt my past relationship..esp when you're stuck in a trainload of people and you've stuck in a certain direction..little space to lift up a book to read and forced to face a nice looking couple. Hahha They were..sweet..challenging each other with staring matches of which the guy happily gazed at the girl to eternity...Haha those eyes meant something. They were super happy in each others company lah! hahaha

See! its more or less what makes me think back on how that kind of sweetness feels like. but no worries dudes! I havnt suffered a recurrance since christmas hahaha doesnt mean I dont hope for someone...just means i dont hope for the same guy.. :P He's still my best bro.. :)
As for who will be the future..I have no freaking idea but when it comes, it comes..that one thing Im willing to wait and see. I believe my God provides!

Itching to write songs again..thanks to Stentorian and SPONGE hahah

Had abit of abseiling today. Damn fun! Wohooo! So gonna love travelling!

God Bless!

Tabletennis

I dont think there's a sport that the whole of Spore really likes to watch but yesterday 7.30pm, everybody was glued to their TVs for what would be the biggest competition in Spore's history. Guaranteed that it will be written down in Spore's history.

The Spore Females Tabletennis team finally got an olympic medal. The highest accolade any sportsman or woman could ever dream of getting, regardless of its colour.

Well the final score is 3-0 and Singapore did its best to get fight face to face with the Ping Pong giants themselves..CHINA.

They went, they fought, they lost but we're proud of them. Spore got silver. Not bronze! Silver this time!

Maybe int he next olympics we can get the gold! or maybe we'll need to wait 48 more years. By then our 1st olympic recipient would most likely not be around...I hope not. I hope this is a start of Singapore dream to be stronger. Now its cast in silver, next year the gold is ours!

Still alot of disputes on Spore's foreign talent issue...its true..at the finals of this match...it more or less seemed like China was fighting against China...only difference...the jersey colour. Event he coaches.

A joke I heard yesterday...if this year it dont work, we could always buy more next year...emm not very funny...



Speaking of dreams...Ive been reinspired by a NOISE Singapore performance yesterday afternoon at Suntec. Excellent bands with tricks up their sleeves that just made the performance so satisfying! Original songs, lovely rythmns and excellent shomanship. Im not an expert on this but I loved it so much...made me really wish I could be in a band so anyone looking for a singer? ME ME ME! I want!

Theres a really good band called Monochrome. Doesnt sound fantastic at 1st, looked impressive with e rocker chick as the lead. She's got the attitude and all really but she had to strain her voice a few times htat by the time she was done..she couldnt reach her high notes and her voice broke. Not to good for a band that wants to do well in the long term. HOWEVER, another impressive or unique character to this band is it boasts of its bilingual abilities. YES! Mandarin!

Mandarin singing band?!?!? The lead singer steps off and lets her eletric violinist take over. A chubby, at angles mainland looking chinese guy takes the stage and speaks with a small boy type of style but belts out the highnotes with skill. Not missing one note! Close your eyes and you see SHIN! Im an sooo daaammmnnnn impressed!!!

Pity though..it woud lead me to pay attention to only their chinese songs.

Another band that was interesting was Blind meets Mute. An almost all malay band except for their english songs. The singer is a small pint-size malay girl with a bright strong voice, dressed with a tudong. Dont see tudong rock singing girls often yah.

Their songs were....okay...okay because the lyrics werent fantastic and the band wassnt skilled enough and they more or less sounded like their sounds we're all crashing together to become one gigantic big sound (note i didnt say noise)..so I can only say I like the girl's voice

The 2 bands I loved the most...SPONGE and Stentorian (is that how its spelt?) Damn they're good! Did I also mention that the Stentorian's lead singer is uber cool?!?! AND HIS VOICE!

Im am truly impressed! k more like bowled over! Damn! K u know how high I was over people like Reshmonu and Idan Raichel? Yep I think we've got a sporean representative. :)

Next to this dude would be SPONGE's lead and then King Kong Jane's lead? Anyway if you wanna listen to what I mean...go to myspace.com and look for SPONGE & Stentorian

Lastly..Bless is a local rapper who's got good works. Nothing to religious or racist or politically sensitive for now..all true to life experience pieces and I like his work. catch him on myspace too.

Thats what Ive heard so far and you can bet that Id be around to watch their other gigs.

Speaking of dreams...

After the performance I left feeling satisfied but feeling empty...

I think since the last time Ive gone for such local gigs, my eyes had once again been veiled by harsh reality...or reality as I make of it...I wanna sing..I wanna be in a band and I want to perform. Am I the only one who has this urge to do soemthing so bizzare? Apparently not because all those on the stage now have the same urge..Yet why am I still offstage?

Yet the more I think of this..the more a voice deep inside says, "Ur too old for this kind of thing..its pass your time..dont spend needless money..what can this do for you?"
And the weird thing is I never realy heard these things from my parents...aside from when I joined Spore Idol and my parents both asked me "why you wanna do this for?" or how they didnt really thought my performances were worth going...its really more of "dont waste money"
I think I got the idea when I put this all thogether plus body laguage and their beliefs and their lifestyle....

In fact I dont think the "waste money" idea was meant for me to not go into all this music stuff....but that the music stuff could potentially cause me to spend money take time which could affect my studies....So all those "waste money", "go and study"....transcended into me telling myself that I wouldnt wanna sing...to risk all these thigns from happening. Sad eh.

So as I took the escalator down to the new underpass from suntec..I pondered upon th eidea of stepping out of this mindset...should I? Is it really too late? could someone in the mid 20's still dream? or has work, money, time, family, invisible load of responsibilities or imaginary need to be the "good girl" really pulled me down to be like the usual old fogs who go through life like normal working class adults?

Do I really wanna grow up get a job,
help out in the family physically and financially,
get a family,
sustain that family,
have a baby,
till death do me part?

Looking at my life..I think the one thing I did wrong...was realize how impt dreams are too late. Growing up in a family with strong ideas of grades, no late nights, no concerts, no friends parties etc.. Parents scared that id hurt/injure/get kidnapped/get etc etc and parents scared to contradict each other...
Maybe I should have fought back...should have put more importance on my dreams instead of putting money and time as more impt and stuffling it.

I think the only one who ever really lived in my family...is my cousin..who got to work amongst horse (her interest and maybe her dream) and got married to a jockey etc etc..now with a beautiful little girl..at the right times of her life. I must admit that Im envious. :)

So if I ever ever ever get a kid...I will teach the kid to be independent, then to follow his dreams and then by the time he/she hits 23, he/she can start settling down and having a family...

Okay enough on my side..Im still in reflection...Even if I wanted to do this....how the hell do I get myself a band?!?! And what about my interest in sign language? $...singing lessons? $

okay well thats my entry...something in me wishes my parents read this but its abit too late by now. As my elders would say...you're older now..should be wiser. Well im starting to believe that wisdom is a relative term..its also subjective and its up to me to decide on how my being wise is...

till then...

God Bless

Georgia, Ossetia, Russia

Okay I dont want to get into politics...I just feel that there might be more to this than just taking South Ossetis back from Georgia.

Have been listening to BBC for the past few days and its AMAZING how the BBC reporters or interviewers can hurl touchy questions at the ministers or representative of the various countries. I believe the interviewers made the ministers sweat. Not that there was visual but the way the ministers started stuttering and hesitating in their replies.Hahhaah SUPER MAJOR kick ass interview that in my opinion...is equated to the interogation by a prosecutor.

Hahahaha well I think BBC has the right (on behalf of the world) to ask these people what is really happening. But they have to protect themselves..hence their questions can only be questions that might suggest or even better..paying extra attention to the answers given and finding loop holes in the answers to see if they can get a more accurate answer.

BBC Rules!!

As for whether its Georgia or Russia's fault...I dont know...no one can justify who pulled the 1st bomb. I will only side with the citizens. After listening to the whole coverage...Im also aware at how easily an incident like this could be covered unbalanced...and cause a skewed view.

Oh well...Im glad the war is over and hope the healing begins soon. My heart felt condolences to all who lost their relatives etc

As fort he other parts of the World..As of now the countries that are under danger...China, Israel, South Ossetia, Georgia, Congo, Pakistan, Myanmar...

God Bless

:)

Im happy :) Got an sms that made my day!

Cant say much but Im overjoyed and for a super long time...I had exchanged numerour amounts of smses of happiness, misses, apologies, explanations and apologies and misses and all. :)

Maybe be feeling stressed or mentally tired at work...but her sms literally brightened up my day.

:) :) :) :)

Thanks God for an sms that Ive waited for a long time!

For the past few days, Ive tried to digest genesis chap 1-3 and 3 chapters itself is enough to make me feel full.

Anyway Im just happy right now! I hope it maintains.

God Bless

headache...again

I feel a little caveman running in my brain..doing a rain dance..

Back in sch today frm yesterday's headache and puking. Hope today isnt the same because I really plan to keep my food where it belongs....in my stomach.

Been eating this sweet, Qra Qra..turned to the nutritional facts...its got stuff taken from pork skin!!! Geez! Im fine w it but I think I'll advise all muslim friends to think again man! If this prok skin is what Im thinking it is and not a scientific name for a plant etc..isnt it supposed to be pig skin then? Product of Taiwan...Did i also mention that it has a picture of a kangaroo with a crown, hopping around?

My headache is growing again and I hope it doesnt bloom into a full fledged cranium attack... :P

If i feel like puking again today, I will go home early.

My ISC had their camp last weekend. I think they've finally learnt to stand on their own. Its a bitter sweet issue because I know the more they depend on themselves...the more they they wont need to consult me and the less I can do for them..the less I feel close to them.
Or thats how I feel now. Maybe soon the Ning Jie thing will fade.. sad
BUT i know that them being independent is a MUST for them to survive in this environment.
I love them loads really..and hope that through all their obstacles...they will learn.
God, please keep your guiding hand over them.

God Bless

pics i love...

A weekend of rest!

Yep I was on that!

Adam's Family

Beverly Hills 90210 (indomalay version)

Life is good if only you will have the faith in God to carry you through. Every single one of those in those pictures made my life colourful so never underestimate a friend's presence. The appreciation might not be felt on the spot...but it will definitely be felt after it.

God Bless

Lunch munch crunch

at the office now..its lunchtime I know but its okay.

Sat was tiring but sun was lazy heheheheh so Im officially not living for now :)
Nonttheless I do wanna find things to do so what shud I do....last ngith took out my roller blades nad started cleaning them. finally boght my knee guards too...think i learnt too many lessons...

So....planning to take leave this week end and 2 weeks later...abit of refelcting to do...

While Im at it..so gotta show off the wonderful blogs my clubs did...its all ont he left of my blog..SPARC, Comperes, ISC etc... really fun!

God Bless

MAnahmanah!

this month im on a plateau. Bit lost as to how I wanna improve my life....what life ah?

My God! I feel like I need to take 2 days off to walk around or hang somewhere or chill and think about what I want to do in life..start taking strategic steps to end up at where I wanna be...like I need to do character analysis to find out what kind of a human I am... :/

Had a chat with my student as we went home together...and she is in a situation as I was when I was nearing my 3rd year studies in SP. She doesnt know what she can do or what she wants to do in the media & comm line....
No wonder she looked tired and stressed.

For the past few days, ahve been w my ISC...eveyrtime I do this..feel abit gulity that I dont spend as much time as I do with SPSE, SPG, Jazz band, Bagpipers etc...MAC..etc

Gonna start looking at podcasts hahah just to get a feel at doing all this online talking...

Hmmm

God Bless

July is now

Alot of things happening and Im the only one standing. Things getting less packed so Im getting more air...

Went to the zoo w my juniors..time i got abit of bonding done w them. We did weird stuff like squeezing into a cage...

Think life for me has gotten more out of hand..either that or too mundane hahaha I know I want a change but I'm not too sure how far I wanna go with this.

Spoke to God about this and told him how I felt like I wanna go further but I dont know whether I can make it...and not to mention that I dont have the money to do anything.
God said: you have my inheritance..how can you not have enough money?
I : but how do I tap into it God?
God: ask and ye shall receive.

So I thought about what I wanted to do w my life....and radio always comes in...hosting always comes in...then dancing and singing and playing an intrument...all needing money..

Yet God once again impressed in my heart...If i promise you the blessings according to my inheritance in heaven (which is limitless) then how can you ever be poor? Or is it that you are not ready to take the inheritance?

As I walked out of church the last sunday, one of the churchgoers was behind talking loudly to a person on the phone abt betting Spain's win. I thought to myself...if God has given us his inheritance....then why do they still go around betting?

Yet here I am stuck...emotionally stuck with my current lifestyle of late nights and sleepy mornings...always saying I wanna try something new but not knowing what to do...

Oh well..time for food.

God Bless

24 June 2008...5th post

The concert was good. Soo far no complaints but Im still holding my breathe. Somehow Ive become very sceptic of having peace.

For the past 2 motnhs Ive had soo many events pop up and soo many requests that now I feel like Im playing catch up. I dont blame anyone..just myself. Maybe Im really not meant for this kind of job..even though the motivation to perfect handling events is in me.

Looking at the past few years..I know there were a few times that I felt like I could give up but I immediately talked myself out of it saying that I need to learn and get used to things and train urself to be skilled in this aspect.

Somehow I feel like I cant...match up to it now...its sad coz i love my student clubs...yet everytime..I feel bad that they have to wait for hours for me and have to tolerate other students coming in or other officers coming in and calls after calls...I feel bad having to cut the conversation to discuss something else before I forget..its soo sad..

I think to myself on how the others work and how well they multi=task that its so unreal.

Dont get me wrong..Im not bad mouthing anyone...can see a lawsuit flying over at this point. Before any misunderstandings happen..I really wanna clarify that I have respect for their capability to do all this work...only thing I dont like is the system...that forces us to cater to too many things that are not even necessary.

Or maybe its me...hmmm...

God Bless

My temper...

Lately, my temper has been shorter...my attention span..shorter....my concentration...fuzzier....

I now know how it feels to feel physical small and tired and under stress....and literally feel weighed down. DAMN!

I will try not to lose sight of life yah...*Pui! Shake Hands! Pinkie hook!* :)

Just realised that 2 of my ex classmates are married..out of the others who also did months ago hahahah wow! Reality is going faster than my life!

hahahha

Anyway...I cant wait for a break next week!

God Bless!

toll on my soul

Glad that I could go church..it helped...felt happier..felt more relieved..felt at peace

Then as the day went by... the list of things I needed to do on for the coming week...grew clearer and heavier

So now that Im in the office I feel an aura of stress on me...really considering getting out but the time I have now is for settling what I need to settle for hte concert..that would be my main concern.

Till then, I know my God is with me in my office all the time.

God Bless!

its half of june and its only my 2nd post

think this month is my record lowest of posts...even May was better! But then come to think of it...May was sooo bad that it made me blog more coz I needed to get stuff off my back. The worldy kind of peace I can find isnt yoga but more of blogging, writing songs, talking etc...so much for the peace that Jesus gives me....I know I havnt gotten the ability to master that kind of peace.

Last weekend was a break I hadnt had in weeks...or months...

Meeting w Makeup Artiste members, travelled to paya lebar to settle instrument payments for SP String Ensemble on saturday..walked from Paya Lebar MRT to Tajong Katong....a long walk but I walked anyway..part of 30mins a day exercise? Hehehe

Sun, went to church (that was the most peaceful time) walked around abit...went to Mandarin Gardens to drop by at Granny's place and say Hi....then walked to East Coast to meet up w Musical friends. Bladed abit with rented roller blades and once again fell. Hit my knees.
Now my left knee has a blue black teh size of a 50cent while my right knee had a nail size wound and an mp3 player size blue black surrounding it. Looks like I got nailed in the knee instead of in the palms (ala Jesus)

Mon - Fri, torturous...
Im soo tempted to take cab every morning coz thinking of taking the train to work and standing through the entire 45mins with a knee that wont stop bleeding...was very motivating...
the problems Ive been having with the Myanmar festival...always brought my days to a tiring end...every morning i started teh day with dread and a list of things to do..every day I ask myself why Im working there..every day I answer myself : my students

Mon morning itself, I went to see hte doc..my knee had bleed the entire night and I was abit worried. the added stress on it while going up and downt he stairs didnt help to stop the bleeding. Then knowing Ying Ying was in town (my niece from HK), I had to meet them int he evening for dinner. Decided to stay overnight at Gugus place because I wanted to spend time with them. Took MC the next day for leg and for relatives reason...

Wed - Fri, had to bank in China money, had to bank in Moberly money, had to help David Lee with his clubs, had to do writeup for Lunch Show@ moberly, had to gof ro Compere & SPARC camp dinner, had to settle admin thigns w SPARC & Comperes...etc etc etc

Fri evening, Kung Fu Panda movie with ISC...

I feel guilty for the clubs under me that dont get my attention...Bagpipers, Jazz Band, Makeup Artiste..SPSE...
Been wondering whether me having so many clubs is a good thing..if its not and the clubs suffer, Id rather give them up so I can focus on some...

I am thankful that slowly but surely, the clubs are starting to climb on their feet again. SPARC, Comperes, SP MAC, ISC....
I feel sooo bad...I wanna promise to do better but I dont know how long I can take it....been looking at the papers more....I hope my clubs are able to be independant soon...

Jesus..thank you for being by my side all these days..I felt like I was int eh valley of the shadow of death.....yet I know you are with me...Thank you Lord for always reminding me that you are there..that while I worry abt various things..other things dont go wrong...
You are my witness Lord...when I cant take it and am seconds to throwing int eh towel...you are the one who know how much stress Im in....I know that you feel my strain on my back when I slouch fromt he strain of the problems....I know you feel my hotness in my eyes when Im close to break into tears...I know you feel my despair when my ideas amount to a dead end...
You are Lord of Lords!

As for my students...and friends and family who seldom see me anymore....I know I havnt been a good friend...in fact Ive become a non-existent one. Somehow I know that if I dont get over this...and improve my situation...the time will come when something will happen and I will truly taste "too late".

God Bless

1st post of june...

since thur ive been sick...fever, sore throat, light-headedness, cough, aches & pains..sounds like an old hag and trust me I felt like one. soo glad it was nearing the weekend coz that way id get rest and much as I wanted to go back tot he office on sat, my body told me not to.

Feel like I havnt written in ages. For those who are free to read my blog every day (wonder why they do it anyway..) might seem like ages too.

So Im gonna start w my first issue...

China vs Myanmar...
for starters, I still wonder by USA still calls Myanmar, Burma. Burma is the old name.
2nd..still dont like the idea of China getting all teh help and so little for Myanmar. the topic Id like to put to discussion is...if the burmese military junta takes most of what is given..shoudlwe give more...or give less? give more and hope that the junta takes... oh lets say..70%...then with a greater total amnt given to myanmar..a greater 30% will reach the people...or maybe thats the idealistic me talking... BUT to not give at all...or give less...doesnt help either does it.
Now that we are slowly able to break through the barriers of the junta...will people finally start donating more? or would everyone have donated all that they have for China (being more blood-related) and use that as an excuse to give less or not give at all? Hmmm You may say that this is all skewed...but I fear the worse

Tired
Been very very tired..dont think ive gotten this sick in awhile...not even in 2 years...
9 clubs is no joke...really...i dont know how long I can survive coz i do know that I was really up to the ends of my hair this may and if every month was this bad....Id lose it...my health and all.

God
What I regret most abt this month..is that I cudnt go to church a single week this month (may) maybe excuses or reasons but Ive been sooo tired from work and clubs etc. Can see Jesus shaking his head, going, "tsk tsk Ning...pay attention!" Maybe its coz of this..that this month was the worst...that I lost sight of wats important in my life too...

Well...i hope to start things anew soon...hope to get my strength and faith back...

back soon.

God Bless

haiz....

May is almost drawing to a close...this month has truly been a very taxing month for me...I can not say enough about how much strength my God has given me to overcome allt hat Ive done. No doubt I havent been able to do things well but Im glad that even now, I havnt fallen ill or given up.

I thank God for my clubs...I thank God that they're able to stand..I thank God for my bond with them that gets stronger...how it gets stronger I dont know....I can only attribute it to His guidance...His contribution to these kid's mentality...PRAISE HIM

Got scolding from Deputy Principal today...I know I deserve it in a away..and all other allegations abt me...but somehow this one...didnt affect me as much as I thought...most of it flowed off my back...not that i disregard it..but I didnt let his harsh and slightly unreasonable comment affect me more than I needed it to...

Today SPG had a performance at SP grad ceremony...and they did great! So proud of them! :)
Makes me embaraassed that I cant play w them... :/

Thanks Father for blessing my clubs..even when I feel Im a hindrance to their growth at times...

God Bless

Work

My entries for the past few times..have been all abt work...

This period is the worst time..may was the epiphany of labour...super busy and guess what! Its not over yet!

Till my chance to rest in june....I have 3 more events to settle.. Spore River Raft Race, Grad Ceremony, Open House...

Aside from which..comperes interview, sparc interview, string ensemble and guitarists camp, Moberly Lunch Concert etc...

I might slowly lose steam if I dont get help soon...

Out of all this..I know my Gos is awesome. :) He never lets me slip...in fact I do slip all the time but he never lets me fall and hurt myself. :)

Need to take a short break in june because I know I need it!

God Bless!

Headache...

Once again Ive thought and worried till my migraine came back....

No point cursing or swearing..just find things abit messy that I would really love to step back for awhile..but i wont....I know I cant...

Head feeling heavy..love my students but feel like Im constantly trying to defend both sides of the coin...

Maybe Im not fully cut out for this job....sad...

God Bless

1 down...many more to go...

Maybe its coz Ive been soooo busy or tied up with other stuff that I've missed church and lost the feeling of how it feels like to be loved by Jesus...

After a grueling event after event after event...Moberly Launch is finally over...Every student I spoke to asked why Moberly was launched so late..they all thought it was launched a looonnnggg time ago. But whatever it is..since its now officially launched...its one less thing to do in my book.

Last 2 days (weekends) Met w my mum's family for mums day...went out w cousins etc..then went to YQ's birthday party.. then met my spse & spg students and went to arts friends to see art supplies. By the time I went home, I wanted sooo much to taek a fdew days off to do some art stuff that I havnt done for a long time...

Emm..so now im in the office again..damn tired but Im sooo damn glad that Moberly Launch is over but I know SRRR is coming and Grad Ceremony is coming and Lunch Concerts are coming....My goodness! Events dont end!

By now..I know I owe alot fo students an apology...I know I owe alot fo them alot fo thank yous and I somehow think that simple thank yous dont work now...coz if it was me...Id have said, "whatever!" by now...haiz...

I really need strength and peace from God...I feel like I could keel over anytime soon or my heart could stop anytime soon....haiz

God Bless

very very very very tired

following from my last entry... the only thing I found comforting..was that I could get out fot he office on wed, head down to perhentian for a long relaxing trip. My main goal in that trip...was to reclaim the peace I had lost throughout the cca showcase...get rid of the depression I almost lapsed into...and find God's love for me.

I think cca showcase made me lose heart in God's voice..it was then that I fought the most with will and with emotions and fought hard I did...on my own. It was sooo hard to remind myself that My Lord Jesus...was with me every step..even as I waited for my student to pick up teh phone..even after my 14 missed calls..and I sat outside the sound room...scared to press a button...for fear that the whole event ont he next day would be a failure by a wrong flip of a switch..it was through this event that I felt like I was a failure in organising events...yes it takes experience...so what do I have?

I thank God that my clubs have been patient with me....its slow but I see progress in my clubs...the standards..the bonding...the leadership..none of it because of me..and all of it I refuse to take credit in...or rather I shouldnt take credit in..even if the pride in me wanted to.
Its been tought getting this far though. Comperes is slowly floating up again...sadly we had a fwe members leave us. My only regret was not being sensitive to their needs...or maybe not having the motherly instincts to see wavering committements or weary hearts..and now htat they are gone..my heart grows wearier...

Today as I walked back..I asked myself if I was being too demanding to my clubs by setting a high standard for them...am I wearing them out....or am I right to give them a bigger goal to break out of their normal ways and try out bigger things...knowing that the whole dept or at least the heads...dont think we can do it....I honestly hate the narrow mindedness of the older.

Atr the same time...teh same people we try to get together...claim that we are "nationalist"

Honestly..I am tired. maybe not tired like the students who have 5-6 modules a semester..tests and exams and projects...but i have 9 clubs...arnd 2 events per month, financial/administrative concerns, moberly block and theatre@Moberly weekly concerts to worry about....and end of may has 2 super big events...Spore Poly River Raft Race & Graduation Ceremony...
Dpesnt that at least make me as busy as any other student in SP?

I havnt had a dayt hat I felt good going to work..in a long time...I havnt laughed heartily for a long time too...how sad...
yesterday's dinner w Ian, stephen & franceen was a dinner I had looked forward to for teh longest time...knowing that I could be my silliest and happiest at the same time...maybe a part of me felt like I had travelled back in time to the days that we all had dinner /supper after my work and I didnt feel as much stress then...

anyway..today was draining in all sense of the word and I figure the only way I cud survive may....is by learning how to get God's peace that passeth understanding...

Lord..aside from you...nobody else in this entire world knows how constricted my heart is right now, how low my body frame has sunk from its original confident posture, how broken my voice can get the moment my fears gang up against me in my mind, and how broken my heart is seeing that things dont work out..lastly..how scared I am..thinking that I'm not good at all in what Im supposed to do...Even if I had the will to explain to anyone out there..about how I felt..I could never put them all in words...how do I? How do I bring my heart and mind out...wring them dry off emotions...collect it all in a pail and peace the words together to form sentences...how? Maybe Virgina Woolf (famous writer) committed suicide because she found no more relief in stringing words together...like allt here is for a genius to convey....is already conveyed and all forms of written expressions have already been said, all analogies already explained, all examples already mentioned and all quotes already quoted..when all words fail you..then what? Lord...you alone know...how much I fight against myself to be the better one I hope to be..and how much I berate myself for being the person I dont want to be...

Maybe out of all that gives way and resigns to dissappointments and quits fighting on and loses its meaning...I might consider doing the same. Not give up on life...but give up on fighting for something that a human would deem to big to fight...maybe something bigger than Goliath...somethign even David cant sling a rock at and kill.

If condemnation could kill as cindemnation & stress is the root of all problems....then I would pretty soon be there... Haiz

Lord, thank you for that rainbow you made for me at the waterfall...it is etched in my mind because of this rareness in such a place...thank you for the grandeur of the waterfallt hat took my breathe away and reminded me of how detailed your craftmanship is that all things n this world could work as clockwork.

God Bless

im losing a faith battle...

Just got back from theatre@Moberly and had a damn stressful day lah...in fact for the past 2 days Ive been damn stressed and i hate to say this but..condemning...myself..

I know for ht past few weeks, Ive had students telling me that they are not happy with doing soo much and not being appreciated and I understand that..but theres something I know...I would rather be in a state of not being appreciated than be in a state of condemnation...

think because of alot of matters...Ive ended up condemning myself in things that may seem trivial...but may be important to me...very important..things that could co alot fo trouble...

So Im now an energy-less, emotion-less, nervous and solemn wreck.

I guess for the past 2 weeks, Ive braved the storms, constantly telling myself htat my God doesnt let his child feel abandoned and He doesnt. Whats happening now..is that Satan has this effective way of curling my thoughts into one ice ball that gets bigger and bigger as it rolls inm y head..with self condemning thoughts until it finally makes an impact on me..something like now...

So I figure with more snowballs, I'll learn to get numb and learn to avoid them...I hope so...coz If I dont...I will get worse...I believe in endurance and sticking in something till I get better in it...which is why Im trying to get my life straight with what I have 1st..before moving on...maybe thats how i prove to myself that Im more than an incapable naive person...

What is the lack of acceptance when you condemn yourself to start with? What is more corrosive? I hate what Im feeling now coz its taxing on the spirit and confidence....
Yes Im nott he strong compere that some know me to be...Im teh perpetually stressed out & forgetful officer..that all my clubs know off..if theres one thing I hope they know..is that no matter how forgetful I am...my heart is for them..and if all fails...I hope at least the heart and intention saves me..coz nothingelse will when it fails....

Maybe thats what God means....its not about good works...coz everyone fails....its the heart...
with an eveil heart and intent....everything we say or do...will be contaminated (in a way)

So I say if you ahev the confidence to do what you can do...you are good.

This upcoming trip....the one mission I have through the trip....is to heal my soul...get back my faith and look at Jesus again...

God Bless

8 days later and im still sick but recovering

So....Im in school.....

the past few days have been agonizing.. so many tings going on and i think I really lost my mind. Lost track of time and etc its like Im going through the few days "siaming" from pot holes and troubles...Think Im ust waiting to land in one of the holes, get alot of shit and go "bye bye"

Got my nose cleared, throat cleared, voice back...and yet I still woke up w blocked nose and bad throat...damn it!

Went to MOS last night w colleague and we explored the whole place..seems cool only that I wasnt dressed for the occassion. This whole techno, trance and house is unbelieveably potent that I just cant take it...so many kids dancing to stuff like that. wat happened to real music? Hahahah

So i finally got to see how MOS is really like and saw a bit of students there hahahah wat a sight!

K gotta go...cant find much to blog today. really plan to relax this sat & sun. Definitely spend more time in God's word because only that helps me to relax in the midst of al the stress.

God Bless

5 days later and Im still sick...

Maybe I should have stayed home on saturday and sunday because I got little rest from there...albeit it was fun..but the energy i spent for that wasnt enough to prevent my flu from coming back...sooo 3 days later..Im still sick..and if I count in last fri's flu..then Ive been sick for 5 days. Satan's personal record on me..in terms of flu and running nose etc. This sucks!

like what i said last night, my side is abit rocky now and I am drained but I know my Jesus is here with me. And so I know the storm will calm down..

So yes I hope by end this week, I will get better soon. :)

God Bless

My God is..

Its in the roughest storms that I will lift my heart and voice to praise His worthy name.
Matt 8: 23, Mark 4: 35, Luke8:22
When Jesus was asleep on the boat with his disciples and the storm came, the disciples were sooo scared and woke Jesus up.

In Matthew (NIV),
The disciples said: Lord save us! We are going to drown! Lord replied: You of little faith, why are you so afraid?
Then he rebuked the winds & waves and it was completely calm

In Mark (NIV),
The disciples said: Teacher dont you care if we drown?
Jesus rebuked the winds & said to the waves, "Quiet! Be Still!
Jesus said: Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?
*in KJV it says...how is it that ye has no faith*

In Luke (NIV)
The disciples said: Master Master! We are going to drown!
Jesus rebuked the winds & waves
Jesus said: Where is your faith?

Id say everyone was there at the same place and same time..this isnt 3 sepreate incidents. So if thats true, then why in the world do the 3 books have 3 different replies?
It hit me that 3 different people could have written these 3 books and for this same situation, these 3 people had different thoughts and levels of faith. They all cried for Jesus to wake up but did it in different ways..and with different levels of faith..Jesus answered it differently.

Note that the one in Matthew shows that the disciples asked God for help. God woke up and called them people of little faith. In Mark, the disciples asked Jesus for help but in it, vaguely accused Jesus of not caring for them. Jesus asked them, "do you still have no faith?"
In Luke, Jesus said, "where is your faith?"

To be honest, Im not the kind who would accuse Jesus for anything...because i know He sis never wrong. Not tot he point of saying he doesnt care coz He cares for me. But I know I could be like the disciple who says, "Master master Im drowning!" who is in deep shit and calling on to Him.
Note also that the disciples call Him in different ways...amybe according to the way they regard Him best?

But eh best thing about this story..is that no matter how they looked at Him, He still came in and calmed the storms. Albeit that He scolded them after that..but he still did it.

Even when teh disciples in Matthew called out to Jesus for help and called Him Lord, Jesus still said they had little faith. So what exactly does Jesus want us to do? How are we supposed to react to it? Somehow I had the impression that Jesus calling them "little faithed" was because they believed that they would drown....Asking Him for help isnt a bad thing right. So its more of asking Him for help, yet believeing that we are drowning and that Jesus couldnt calm teh storms. Coz they sure seemed shocked when he calmed the storm.
So what would have been the best thing to say? Lord, help us to calm this storm. Or was Jesus expecting what Simon Peter later did? Believing that Jesus is the Christ and healing people in His name. Acts 3: 6

Like the blind faith of Peter..that would ahve been enough for any faith-filled disciple to do what Jesus did...calm the storm.

And I in my roughest times..feel like the one who is in a boat..rocked till it seems we could all capsize and drown...and having the Holy Spirit and Jesus reassurance that I am a righteous child of God...that I could even calm my storm...How beautiful is that?

Yet nothing could beat the fact that...regardless of our faith in Him...He still saves us from our storm...

:)

I also rememebr the feeding of 5000. How teh disciples had sooo little faith in Jesus feeding the 5000. They looked at the magnitude of the problem and their lack of funds and deemed it impossible to feed the whole crowd. But my Lord is blessed the food and distributed it out as if it was enough and the mere handful of loaves and fish multiplied in the basket until eveyrone had enough to eat and to spare!

I hope you feel the gladness Im feeling now.

God Bless

Im sick...again...

Got a persistent running nose...its heading for Olympics lah!

Scolded a student to resignation & feeling guilty about it...

Got a song title in my head..."I write my story, you do the math"

Its Friday but it sure as hell doesnt feel like a bloody friday!

Im stressed but i know Im working...yet somehow I know I dont feel any peace in me..like my stomach is perpetually tight...no its not slim wrap..its perpetual anxiety of something happening..and so if sorta makes me sad that I cant seem to hold on to Jesus's "peace that passeth understanding"

It just occured to me that months ago, I could turn to my white board and laugh at all the comments my students wrote down while waiting for me to finish...but since I pasted stuff on it and wrote down my goals and & and the things I need to do for all 9 clubs...the little sweet & funny comments have dwindled to nil...nothing much to think abt except that the more clubs I have..the less time I have for any...the less time I have for other things i wanted to do.

Im not complaining abt having these 9 clubs..I guess i just wished i had more time and was able to manage my time better...:(

Cant wait for this sun's church...

God Bless

Burmese Lesson #4

Another lesson after work. Thanks Maung Lay!

Situational Words
(when we call) a group of Small brothers = Maung Lay Htway (brothers)
(when we call) a group of small sisters = Nyi Ma Lay Htway (sisters)

Oo= uncle (informal/ abreviated version)
Oo Lay = uncle (proper version)

Zya Ma (pronounced ma) = I (gurl)
Zya Do (pronounced No) = I (guy)

Tate Tate(Quietly) Nay(stay) = Keep Quiet

Ngar(me) Bite(stomach) Sar(eat) Teh = Im Hungry

A Tutu(together) Nyah(night) Sar(eat)=Dinner Sar(eat) May = Let have dinner together

Nay Lal Sar = lunch

Bye = Tat Tar

Nga Pain = Stupid

Haiz..getting more difficult lah my lessons! Hahah but very fun! Hehehe Tchey Zu Tin Ba Te!

God Bless