0_0 !!!!!!

Did i mention that I have new injuries? They're not visible to the human eye..infact...its not that its painful...just that I had a few accidents during my aikido lessons...
1) folded my toe under my foot...
2)someone stepped on my fingers
3) Banged my head against someone's heel when I was falling
4) usual rolling stuff

but rest assured! I have no additinoal blueblacks! or...love bites as my colleague wud say...bitten by King Kong!

Just finished watching American Idol and its appalling how people can be so drowned in the fact that they are good! To all aspiring singers out there, dont believe a compliment util its given by someone who's worth his comments! Like Simon Cowell!! Not even randy or Paula is a good enough judge coz its programmed that way! If we had 3 judges who were true in their word, they'd be pissing alot of the contestants off! Then who wud wanna join it next time? Im sooo shocked by Rhonetta (im sure you can find smething abt her ont he net) Who thinks she's high and mighty and can top JLo or Whitney off. Well my dear, you can top JLo off anytime with that front chest and butt of yours! You'll be famous alright! For teh wrong Bloody reason!!! Why cant you get it! Stop getting mad with everybody who thinks you're bad at singing (which is true) Just take a look at the mirror and see how much you resemble a Wh^&*! Esp when you do a one-liner and expect people to be bowled over! Dont be a DIVA! You're not! And I have the biggest hunch that your psychic frens are either really good frens of yours that they dont wanna hurt you, or that they're tone deaf and blind...Either that..you paid them a helluva lot of money!
Quite honestly...I still like William Hung..not that he's a gd singer or anything...but that he's down to earth and realistic and ABOVE ALL humble!

Been thinking of joining Spore Idol and havnt really told anyone abt it coz I havnt decided whether to go. Thankfully God has a way of shifting things to let me make a decision...I have radio workshop till 12...which makes it abit ridiculous for me to travel to wherever the audition place is...doesnt make sense...So I stick to my radio..In fact..coz of the workshop, I pushed my hosting event away and this.

Been thinking abt my fren's business....Theres such a big mess involved that if I was my fren, id probably have to kill someone. I know its really hard to work w frens and stay frens and its really hard to have everyone be as "on your toes" as you. Makes me wish I was there with all of them man..make them air out their opinion..and throw the ball around...(though a ball wud be very dangerous to have right now) The business idea is fantastic but I somehow feel as if they are taking things abit too fast....ive learnt my lessons from my frens...I dont wanna say or state anything..dont wanna give opinions coz I only see one side of the coin...my fren's side...but I do wanna be there to see whatt he other side looks like...

Just borrowed some books on ADD n ADHD...Dyslexia n stuff. Not that I think Im all of em...but I wanna find out more...Hav always been curious abt all this actually...Thanks to Torey Hayden.
Hoping to get her new book but we'll wait and see for a cheaper version.

I know I have alot more thoguths in my head...but for now..ive clean run out of things to write..more like my focus isnt here. Im starting to doubt abt what I can do as a job...if my focus is sooo short...Wat job wud make me wake up int he morning, excited that its a brand new day ...and make me walk out of the house saying, "let's rock this joint!" w gleam in my eyes....maybe a cop? but Im not the fit type... My ex officer from SP emailed me and recommended a job to me..it says the requirement is to have an eye for detail...thats when I stopped reading. Coz I feel as if I cud never tune my eye and mind to scrutinize a page until allt he mistakes are squeezed out and as Ace Ventura says, "exercised the demon". I cant. Id cause myself horrendous stress at not ebign able to point out a single mistake...that I wud hate work....I would hate writing... So much as I am sooooo thankful of my officer's recommendations (she even offered her name as a referral) I cant..esp when her name is on the line. I do not want people to go complaining to her abt my conduct and have a silence between us because she knows she ahs to talk to me abt it but she also knows its a very sensitive topic for me. There you have an eg of how emotional I can be...

God, you know me the best...everything I say or dont say, you know and because of this..you are the one who knows me the best....you know how I work and know what job is best for me. God I can only pray that you will give me this insight as well...that I can see which job I cud work best in...Guide me God.. give me strength and patience and wisdom...help me to persist and keep my mind fixed on improving and getting oevr hurdles...but never..never let me lose sight of you.

LOVE