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taknig break from ADHD for alittle chinese new year celebrations. Just came back and am writing a song...have had abit of inspiration but never got to writing anything...but while I started to go online...somethign made me think abt my sistas and how some of them are very happily attached. The good part abt this is that I wasnt sad thinking abt how they have somethign I dont...but more that...Iw as happy coz of the smiles on their faces...I can recall looking at them and going, "Thank you God for answering my prayers..thank you for making them happy." A prayer I made since breaking with my ex..when I felt as if true love doesnt come to those who deserve it...I prayed for the ones I loved and cared for...to find their true love and... :) God answered my prayers. :D

The recent gathering we had together...when everyone cud make it and everyone was having loads of fun, brother-in-laws included...I felt so warm inside..because I cud see all of them smiling and blessed...It brought out the kid in me and without much intiation, I was on an emotional high...I was like the sec 1 kid again...happy and crazy and kiddish...we bought sparklers and played in the field, under the pitch dark sky..my big sista and I running in circles and waving the sparklers around like two 5 yr old kids who have never tried it before.
my other 2 sistas had their partners to play with. We were all past the legal age but we played like kids. My heart swelled seeing how they've found partners who have brought out the kiddish girls in them..something that all of us wud have hidden inside us as we grew older...untilt he right one comes that lets us put our shields down and trust our hearts out...revealing the kids in us that were never lost...just hidden from danger.

I prayed to God today...I said, " God, only you know how I feel now...There are somethign I ask of and hope you grant but something tells me that you wont coz you know that its not good for me. Nevertheless, in my heart, I cant help but pray the same prayers...but God, as Jesus said, let not my will be done...but yours. If its not somethign you approve of God, let me not attain it. least I fall again...dont answer my persistant prayer if you know that it woudl only lead me to drift from you..." Coz eventually..when the time comes...only you can save me...

LOVE