To friend...

Yeah you know what..your right...its called self deception...It's somethign all of us have but I have more hahaha No bad feelings and I appreciate the comments. I do need to change somethings...but at the moment..that moment...what rules me? what rules my reaction? Heart? Or Mind?..Id have to say..very sadly...heart... As the phrase goes.."out of sight..out of mind" simply put..ust coz I dont see someone doesnt mean the person doesnt mean anything to me anymore.

I dont know if yoou'vee experieinced it..nor do I know who you are...but there was a time when I thought I was quite capable to handle a meet up. Only to find that by the time we parted...I had regretted meeting up...and even wanted to swear never to meet again. But He is my bro...a person I shared alot of memories with...A bro is a sad thing to lose...especially a really good one. So here I force myself to reconcile..to psyche myself up to reconcile...mind..over heart...unfortunately..heart has always been the one that rules. Thats how I was made.

So yes I am a hypocrite...a major one. :) All I can say is that Im fighting a battle that I dont nkow if I can win. And Im fighting it not only for myself..but for my bro...and for our frens..And if I cud get over..I wud...I wud dig out watever memories and place it all in a box and keep in my closet if I cud. But I cant. So I can only deceieve myself that the ex I had..is dead..or that Im over it. :) Both are nonsense...both I wish was true...k mabye not the 1st one hahaha I still want the bro. I know that 1 of the few thigns that Ive achieved after all that heartache...was finding God again. :)

Enough said...Im glad you like Reshmonu's song! His cd is excellent and can only be found in malaysia for now. :) Had a fren buy it for me and Im loving every song. hahahaha Unfortunately for all of us who have just started to love his music...he was here on national day :) My boss got the chance to see him and Id have ran there to see him too if I knew him then! :) Id have screamed my head off and gone out of breathe hahaha (Note: Im not usually like that... This is the 1st audio cd in 3 years or more that Ive bought and Ive never gone gaga over an artist before.) But Reshmonu is an exception coz he is the best asian artist I knw that can fit the american RnB scene. And he's soo close to home that Id even dream of working w him next time! My new found dream is to work with him for just one song! To see him in his studio..in action! Wohoo!

And soo friend, I know u say you dont know me well. but do I know you? if I do then thats cool! If I dont, we cud be frens :) I dont know how u got to this blog but I figure its coz u know someone who knows me, you know me, or you (by God's directions) chanced upon this blog. (highly unlikely) So to my new or not so new fren, I say a happy, "hello" and a wish u a very nice weekend. if it'll be, will be talking to you more next time then hahaha.

LOVE